Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #526: Cardio Contest
- Thread starter LeadHead
- Start date
Geordi: "...and you stick your landing and put your arms out like this to keep balance."
Ensign: "Wow, I never knew you watched some much figure skating."
Geordi: "Oddly enough it doesn't attract the girls. Maybe if I also added curling to my viewing schedule."
RIKER (Thinking): Now to sneak away for a couple hours to the Edo bathhouses.
TROI: Commander, where are you going?
RIKER (Thinking): ...Damn it.
BEVERLY: Oh well, since I'm alone now. Computer, while I'm sprinting to Engineering, play song "My Heart Will Go On" on repeat.
The day Wesley Crusher practiced with his tripwire set and his voice simulator. Also the day Wesley Crusher mysteriously broke both his legs.
(A few seconds earlier)
COMPUTER: Holodeck Program 'Cat Leah' has just been accessed by Leah Brahms.
(A few seconds earlier)
DATA: Do you mind giving me constructive feedback on my poetry?
Riker: ``Wait, running on the lawn is a crime too? Um ... ''
Another botched first contact with the Planet of Living Surgical Gowns.
Riker: ``Since when does an honorable Klingon call 'You're it I quit'?!''
Worf: ``Since he won!''
LaForge: ``I'm busy here, I got no time for John de Lancie's stand-in!''
Picard: ``Personal log, supplemental. Taco Tuesday was a lie!''
Riker: Initiate "Running Man" procedure!
Troi: "Running Man," aye, Sir!
Ogawa: Ogawa to Crusher, you're needed in Sick Bay.
♪Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left, and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came♪
Crusher: Ogawa, this is Crusher. Is that, "How to Save a Life" by the Fray I hear playing in the background? You should have told me it was this serious!
♪We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?♪
Crusher: Oh, crap, now it's "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol? Crusher to Ogawa, please tell me I'm not too late!
Worf: Damn phaser!
Riker: Worf, is your phaser stuck? Are you just the worst security chief ever or what?
LaForge: Tag! You're it!
Where will you be when your diarrhea strikes?
Thanks for the win! 
Troi: (huff) (huff) This is (huff) (huff) a stu- (huff) -pid way (huff) to qualify (huff) for (huff) promotion.
Crusher: I HATE HYPOCHRONDRIACS!
Worf: Captain, I protest! I am not "IT"!
LaForge: NEW GIRLS BEAMING UP! OUTTA THE WAY!
Ensign: Oh, sure. You'll make a great impression sweating and panting.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, wasn't Willie just in here? I keep missing him!
Pulaski, in pursuit: I'll get you, my pretty! And your little boy, too!
Troi: (huff) (huff) This is (huff) (huff) a stu- (huff) -pid way (huff) to qualify (huff) for (huff) promotion.
Crusher: I HATE HYPOCHRONDRIACS!
Worf: Captain, I protest! I am not "IT"!
LaForge: NEW GIRLS BEAMING UP! OUTTA THE WAY!
Ensign: Oh, sure. You'll make a great impression sweating and panting.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, wasn't Willie just in here? I keep missing him!
Pulaski, in pursuit: I'll get you, my pretty! And your little boy, too!
T4TW Leadhead!
Troi: Will, you keep saying you gotta get a horga'hn but this isn't even Risa! Hey, wait up!
The old leotard floss remover sidestep, don't fail me now!!
Crewman: This is literally the first time I have ever seen you run, Lieutenant.
Worf: 50% off ridge enhancement! To Sickbay!
Crewman: Seriously, not even against a self-destruct countdown....
Worf: WITH COUPON!!!
Crewman: Bird imitations?
Geordi: Hey! The male peacock mates with as many as six peahens in a single mating season!
Crewman: And how many peahens have you attracted so far?
Geordi: Well it's the off-season, isn't it!
Troi: Will, you keep saying you gotta get a horga'hn but this isn't even Risa! Hey, wait up!
The old leotard floss remover sidestep, don't fail me now!!
Crewman: This is literally the first time I have ever seen you run, Lieutenant.
Worf: 50% off ridge enhancement! To Sickbay!
Crewman: Seriously, not even against a self-destruct countdown....
Worf: WITH COUPON!!!
Crewman: Bird imitations?
Geordi: Hey! The male peacock mates with as many as six peahens in a single mating season!
Crewman: And how many peahens have you attracted so far?
Geordi: Well it's the off-season, isn't it!
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Ummmm - your age is showing.
Troi: "What's chasing us? It looks like a big tennis ball with a mouth."
Riker: "Relax, that's just Pac-Man. Oh, he just ate a blue pill so he'll be chasing us for hours. Isn't it great how Starfleet's exercise regimen keeps us ahead of them with ease?"
Troi (panting): "You bet. I ain't afraid of no ghosts!"
Riker: "I like Ray Parker Jr too, but this is not the time for stilted karaoke!"
(strange echoing voice) "You'd have less drag coefficient if you ran without your robe on!"
Director: CUT!!!
Beverly: "HEY! The script says you're supposed to tell me not to run in the hallways, you dork!"
Wil Wheaton: "Sorry, I just got contacted by someone named 'Sheldon Cooper'?"
Riker: "Mr. Worf, stand at ease! I know it smells but I won't report you to the captain!"
Geordi: "I have to hurry! I forgot to set the VCR to record the ABC Monday Night movie presentation of 'Mannequin'!"
Picard: "I have to hurry! I forgot to set the VCR to record the ABC Monday Night movie presentation of 'Porky's'!"
Riker: "Hold up! There's no need to hurry, I'll lend you mine."
Deanna always hated that Will Riker used the Holodeck to recreate the night on Betazed she took him to meet her mother... and his immediate reaction that night (to run FAR AWAY)...And the fact he used it as a basis for his Cardio workout regimen.
I wonder how many people read that and then googled "Snagglepuss"Ummmm - your age is showing.
Thanks, LeadHead!
The Baywatch spinoffs just kept getting stranger and stranger.
Gates: NO! I won't do another romance story! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!
The real reason Riker and Worf weren't up for promotion until years later. They were caught playing flag football during an admiral's inspection.
Crewman: Interested in our book club, Sir?
Geordi: Screw your book club. I got Dead or Alive: Super Ultra Advanced Xtreme Beach Volleyball 12 3D waiting for me in the holodeck!
Beverly: Oh COME ON, guys! It's not THAT bad!
The Baywatch spinoffs just kept getting stranger and stranger.
Gates: NO! I won't do another romance story! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!
The real reason Riker and Worf weren't up for promotion until years later. They were caught playing flag football during an admiral's inspection.
Crewman: Interested in our book club, Sir?
Geordi: Screw your book club. I got Dead or Alive: Super Ultra Advanced Xtreme Beach Volleyball 12 3D waiting for me in the holodeck!
Beverly: Oh COME ON, guys! It's not THAT bad!
Troi: Where are you running off to, Will?
Will: Some of us are gonna go look at a dead guy and we want to take off before Wesley hears about it.
Beverly: ♩ ♪ I'm siiiingin' in the rain, just siiiiiiingin' in the rain ♫ ♬ Computer, add musical accompaniment.
<A Clockwork Orange starts playing>
Everyone's a critic!
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