Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #524: Beaming

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

You want winners? Here comes a LOT of winners!

Between Traveling and work I've had precious little time for taking care of business, but I'm pleased to get things moving here again.

First up to the plate, we have the "Wish it was the 6 foot" Award, going to Gepard for:

"Four-foot or six-foot model?"


Next. we have the "Crowd Control" Award, going to captain crow for:

Picard: It's nice to see we have the largest starship crew ever in the history of Starfleet in this room. Anyone who says otherwise is just spouting "FAKE NEWS".


Next, we have the "A story 32 years in the making" Award, going to CorporalCaptain for:

Picard: This is somehow all tied into that scandalous holonovel that surfaced just after our mission to Farpoint Station. Data, what was it called? It broke all records for downloads from Starfleet Apps.

Data: Ah! You must be thinking of The Dancing Doctor Does Deneb IV.

Picard: Yes! That's it!


Next, we have the "Replicated Tomatoes" Award, going to NinjaRaiden2005 for:

Q shows Picard the early reviews of The Emoji Movie..


Next, we have the "Hints of an economy" Award, going to Timewalker for:

Riker: Stop pretending you're broke, Beverly. You have a charge account here, remember? That's how you bought the cloth on Farpoint Station. You don't think I'd have forgotten that, do you? Pay up!


Next, we have the "Transporter Code 14 on that jerk!" Award, going to TImewalker for:

Voice offscreen: Hey, I read that book! It's really good - the butler did it!


Next, we have the "Forget him, when's Vesper show up?" Award, going to Hutchy01 for:

Riker: When does Le Chiffre get here?


Next. we have the "Artificial Intelligence and Sarcasm" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:

LaForge: A gin and tonic, and the complete Harry Potter audiodrama. What could be better?
Computer: A compatible mate.
LaForge: Who asked you?!


Next, we have the "A Man of the people, the really rich people" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

DEANNA: Equestrian huh. Are any of your hobbies NOT things that were exclusively available to rich people a couple hundred years ago?


Next, we have the "Somebody call security on that one" Award, going to Laura Cynthia Chambers for:

Barclay: "Hey, fellas. Am I holding up your game?"
Chess players (thinking): "Nerd."


Next, we have the "Yup, production error. Not user error" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

WORF: These models are constructed too flimsy. I only smashed it against the wall once.



Next, we have the "Proper Translation" Award, going to Herbert for:

Troi: Will, <pause, looks uncertain> I've been lying to you all these years. "Imzadi" doesn't mean beloved.
Riker: <taken aback> What does it mean?
Troi: There is no direct translation but it roughly means boy toy.


Next, we have the "The same constellations we see every week" Award, going to Laura Cynthia Chambers for:

Geordi: "Look at all of these constellations, Worf. Do you have a favorite?"
Worf: "The silent engineer."
Geordi: "Which one is-oh."


Next, we have the "That's a new one for the medical texts" Award, going to Leviathan for:

Picard regularly suffered from Roboscopoxanthophobia: The fear that you are being watched by an android with yellow eyes.


Next, we have the "The Original Klingon" Award, going to Triskelion for:

♩ ♪ nuq 'oH muSHa'ghach
ghu Qo', jIHvaD 'oy'
Qo', jIHvaD 'oy'
yImev ♫ ♬

(Translation: What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more.... ♫ ♬)

 

[LeadHead]

Our Photoshop Award, goes to Nerys Myk for:

LAFORGE: Go ahead, be seated. We must drink. This is tranya. I hope you relish it as much as I.

4 KBL's this time around.

First, Jedman67:

PICARD: "For centuries, mankind has looked to the stars, asking, 'what is out there?' And now we have come to the stars. And the stars have said to us 'what the heck are you guys doing here? Get back to earth you primitive monkeys'....Dammit Q, stop messing with my speech!!!"

Second, NonameGiven:

Lt. Geordi Laforge: "Yeah, I know Leah, I did a terrible thing...I offered you a ride back to Earth...now, how about another drink?"

Leah Brahms:"Mmmmghph!"

Lt. Geordi Laforge: "What? That gag and those ropes too tight?"


Third, Mojochi:

*Starts looking around to see who else has a horga'hn on display*


Last but not least, shivkala:

Data: Yahtzee!

Riker: Wrong game, Data. But, hey, keep rolling that way and you can yell what you want!


And now, our new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Number One, everything is fine down here- oh this is why I'm supposed to send expendable officers on these.

Riker: Down in front!

Yar: Can I blast him now?

Data: To destroy the forcefield?

Yar: Yeah, sure....

Data: See you in Warehouse 13!

Barclay: Transporter Room 4? Nobody comes back from Transporter Room 4!

 

[Herbert]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead

The final film in the franchise - Poltergeist 24th Century

 

[CorporalCaptain]

@LeadHead, T4TW!

Data: Commander Riker has been encased in a force field.

Yar: Enterprise, we're useless here. We need more senior officers.

Transporter Chief: (over comm) Energizing. Don't also lose these.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Worf: Captain, this retreat is without honor!

Picard: Have no fear, Mister Worf. I have a feeling we'll be seeing the Prime Minister again.

 

[Herbert]

Once again Spiner missed the memo. "All senior officers in this scene must stare blankly into the distance"

 

[Herbert]

Data: Dammit! Facebook is down

 

[Herbert]

Barclay: It was awful. I was transported back to the 1980s and this large man kept calling me fool and telling me to shut up

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Oh, God -- we're being invaded by sparkly vampires!"

Fajo: "The shirt is blue."

Data: "It's clearly purple, son of a bitch!" fires.

"There'sssss ... somethinginthetransporterstream!"

 

[Mojochi]

.\

Nayrok: WTF? Noninterference? But YOU let Roga Danar escape? In fact, you let him steal a BETTER ship. Little late to pretend you're not involved, isn't it?

Captain's Log: Upon seeing the formidability of the new Romulan Bird of Prey... we are outta here

Data: According to my report, once the others arrive, we'll have enough to beat the Starfleet mannequin challenge record

Fajo: What do you mean you're actually Lore?

Ship's Counselor's Patient Log: Lt. Barclay can't stop plexxing himself while on away missions

 

[Noname Given]

Even by the 24th Century, Transporter reception leaved a lot to be desired. here we see a group of engineers in the background, testing the latest HD Transporter over the air antenna with mixed results. That's why Star Fleet finally went to Cable Transporters in the early 25th century.

Lt. Barclay: "My God...It's full of stars!"

 

[Ithekro]

.\

Nayrok: WTF? Noninterference? But YOU let Roga Danar escape? In fact, you let him steal a BETTER ship. Little late to pretend you're not involved, isn't it?

And all that was heard, besides the transporter beaming them out, was the sound of Picard, giving Nayrok the Raspberry.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Barclay: I can't remember whether I reconnected the pattern buffer to the rematerializer!

 

[Nerys Myk]

It was at this point Picard began to rethink promoting Worf to Tactical Officer.

 

[Herbert]

Data: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a Varon-T disruptor, the most vicious disruptor in the galaxy and would rip your cells painfully apart, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, fajo?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Soldiers: Great. Now we'll NEVER find out what happened in the Game of Thrones finale.

 

[Leviathan]

Barclay: I...saw myself...in a contest....playing chess...

 

[NinjaRaiden2005]

@LeadHead T4TW!

Picard: I'm sure glad the Federation never had to deal with soldiers feeling like outcasts and displaced after finding peace.
Data: I believe Captain Edison's record would prove otherwise, sir.
Picard: Who?

Denise Crosby: Wish I could get transported outta here.

Data: I believe the correct phrase is, "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfu-"

 

[Qonundrum]

"What bluescreen, I don't see any bluescreen, only collectible saltshakers!"

Picard: "Wesley, I told you to use Windex to clean the screen! Blasted streaks..."

Data: "Lieutenant Yar, is it just me or am I seeing double?"
Yar: "No Data, it is not you. The effects people are cutting costs by doubling up the materialization effects."

Fajo: "Data, your gun may be pointed in one direction but your eyes are looking at another. How can androids have jealousy? You certainly don't have good aim."

Broccoli: "I see trees of green, red roses too..."