Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #500: Memory Lane

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: How long till we can use the bathroom?
PICARD: Worf was in there. Wait for the alert to clear.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MICHAEL STEELE: I left the Bangles for this?

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAL: He refused to pay for his drink!
GUINAN: We don't use money!
DATA: Ah, that is what I forgot to add to her programming.

 

[Smellincoffee]

On the remote swamp-planet Dagobah, Worf and Crusher were unable to counter the cackling green creature's "Force".

As much as they wanted to save his life with CPR, Klingon halitosis is....formidable.

Guinan: You're a mixologist, Lal, not the bouncer!

 

[Nebusj]

Picard: ``All right. Can we open Microsoft SQL Server instead?''

Worf always wins the Enterprise Horizontal Day contests!

Riker: ``I don't know, she asked for help with pick-up lines and then suddenly this?''

LaForge: ``Bridge? Am I too late for the Enterprise Horizontal Day contest?''

Riker: ``All right, so maybe that was a snare trap.''

 

[tharpdevenport]

Guinan: "What did you do?"

Riker: "All I did was ask her for a pick me up. In hindsight, I should have asked for Sex on the Beach."

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: You were right, sir. That is soooo not Lwaxana's voice.

Riker: What are you doing?? Remember the Klingon custom of warning Stovokor a warrior is coming by roaring!
Wesley: I know, he told me that once - right after telling me to throw a chair at a princess I liked. Also, there was an assault charge. Can you sense what base I got to with her?
Troi: ...Sucks to be Worf in Stovokor.
Wesley: Mew mew mew mew mew mew....

Lal: I have caught a man.
Guinan: LOL.
LAL: Yes?
Guinan: No, LOL. That won't work.
LAL: It won't?
Riker: LOL.
LAL: Yes?

Data: How did you become so adept at rolling under a blast door, Geordi?
LaForge: My sister trained me.
Data: Ah.
...
Did she put some tuna in her blouse?
LaForge: No! That's how she trained her cat to roll under a blast door. I picked it up from the cat.
Data: Oh, well that's better...?

Riker: So, ah, Worf, did you happen to bring a knife to help cut me down?
Worf: No.
Riker: Perhaps a dagger, or small dirk of some kind?
Worf: Sorry, can't help you.
Riker: Stiletto? Poniard? A small arrowhead, perchance?
Crusher: How about an adze?
Riker: An adze will do nicely. Did you bring one Doctor?
Crusher: I thought we were just naming things.
Riker: I see.
...
Linoleum cutter? Leather gouge? Cheese slicer?
Worf: How about a photon torpedo?
Riker: I like your enthusiasm, but....

 

[tharpdevenport]

And with mere seconds before the Engineering staff started watching "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", LaFore ordered the section sealed and made it out.

 

[Leviathan]

Admiral Ackbar: IT'S A TRAP!!!

 

[Leviathan]

Worf: What's going on? A ship has one Bridge. One Bridge! One Riker, one Bridge!

Riker: Actually....we have the Main Bridge and the Battle Bridge...so 2 Bridges. We also have 2 Rikers, me and my transporter clone Thomas.

Worf: Screw it, i'm going to DS9.

 

[Noname Given]

And again, for the third year in a row, Commander LaForge wins the 1701-D Main Engineering "Limbo Under the Emergency Bulkhead as it Closes" competition.

 

[Smellincoffee]

(Fading out) Take a look! It's in a book! A reading rainboowwwwwwwwwww!
Burton: Welcme back kids. Today, I have a GREAT story for you.

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: I used to roll under doors, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

 

[Catarina]

Alright, I have had it. Time to show the big wigs my warp core ejection blueprint.

 

[Catarina]

Q: To awaken the beast he must be kissed by a maiden.
Troi: I did!
Q: not you! Beside you, the one with the padded man suit.

 

[Catarina]

Q: The password is Worf is a smelly targ. Say it, Picard or crawl through the bowels of the ship!

You want me to rough him up?

Riker: okay, I will say it! Worf still wears a diaper!
Q: *snaps fingers*

 

[Finn]

First Officer's Log: Worf was right. I could use the back of the Captain's head to check for food in my teeth.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Lal: "Dad, seriously, stop photobombing our wedding pictures!"
Data: "Sorry. (not sorry)"

Worf: "Away team log, Worf recording: Why do I have the odd feeling I'm missing something..."

That's just how I roll...

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Bridge to away team, what's you're status?
Riker: Hanging loose and standing "bi" as ordered, Captain.

Riker: Hurry up, Worf, the Lieutenant would have had that thing open by now.
Worf: Data? That is an unfair comparison - Data did nothing but shakeweights all day.
Riker: No, Yar.
Worf: Still....

Geordi: This is nothing, you should see my TJ Hooker hood slide!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: Lieutenant Cooper, YOU MUST DISEMBARK FROM THE TURBOLIFT!
Riker: I have an idea, sir. *knockknockknock* Sheldon. *knockknockknock* Sheldon. *knockknockknock* Sheldon.
(whoosh)

Picard: Computer, open turbolift 36-9.
Q's voice: I'm sorry, Dave, but I'm afraid I can't do that.
Picard: That's a little pedestrian for you, isn't it?
Q's voice: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
Riker, amused: Who introduced him to Earth cinema?