Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #493: Free For All
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Picard: Right. Avoid the lavatories on the third deck. Thanks for the warning.
Troi: "And the moment that I can feel that you feel that way, too....is when I fall in love with you." Oh, I should have been a singer. My talents are WASTED in this counseling racket. I'm only allowed to tell people what LCARS-MD advises me to tell them, anyway.
Woman: Am I free tonight? I'm free every night. This is the Federation.
Data: Correction. You are in Starfleet. And you have a duty shift in Astrophysics.
Wesley: Sir, we're at battle stations. Are you sure this is the right time to...
Picard: Mr. Crusher, I shall not rest until I find out once and for all, who put the bomp in the bomp ba bomp ba bomp.
Leonard John Crofoot: Just cut one brake line and I could be sitting in that command chair...
Stewart: Marina, I'm impressed by all that time you spent putting on that aquatic makeup. You clearly aren't doing this just for the halibut. This must be the role of your breams, isn't it? A gift from Cod, as it were. I'm not just fishing for compliments, I really believe that you haddock a...
Sirtis: CUT!
Stewart: "The director said your scene with Frakes is delayed because Johnny couldn't make it on time -- he's blown a seal. I called him up and he said to leave his private life out of it."
Derp, look at me, I am the chief of security and I will kill you where you stand - oops, intruder alert <falls down>
We can discuss the ramifications of Romulan incursions into the Neutral Zone but first how 'bout a little Foggy Mountain Breakdown.
Salesman: Thank you for your patronage. And remember Wesley, when in doubt, give her the tongue; and you will doubt no more.
Wesley: He just blew my mind.
Picard: Please don't say my name, please don't say my name -
Beverly: Have you ever summered in Toledo, Zhawn Wuc...?
Picard: Merde.
Picard: Apparently she is practiced in the Dark Side of the Force.
Q: Nice invisible wall - but I don't think all those summers in mime school is going to impress the Borg. Try a cube.
Michael Piller: Don't let Braga hear your ideas about warp 10!
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"You're one of them there 'special' kids, ain't ya?"
Wes: "Sir, is he talking to m--"
Picard: "Shut up, Wesley!"
Picard: Guinan, it has been decided. Yours are the superior Jazz Hands.
O'Brien: Sir, I'd like you to meet my brother, Seamus O'Brien.
Seamus: Aye, we're all proud o' our brother, Miles, but ye know he was locked out of his tree like a monkey who forgot his keys when this Starfleet Captain told him to enlist in Starfleet. Reckon he's a right whanker, eh?
Sonny: Go ahead, request "Free Bird" one more time...
Salesman: The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Yamato idea.
Troi: Sir, you're doing it again.
Picard: Doing what?
Troi: The face you make when Wesley is talking.
Picard: So, you're saying all El-Alurians initiate first contact by feeling the alien race's breasts?
Q: Yes, Jean-Luc, just like Guinan is demonstrating. It caused quite a fracas when we met her race. The Q Continuum enlisted our finest sexual harassment lawyers, but damn it if the El-Alurians didn't counter with a great defense...being Q, we have no corporeal bodies as you define them, therefore, I had no grounds to sue.
Q: Well, what do you know, Jean-Luc, there really was a stick up your ass!
Geordi: I think this is the only time I am glad to be blind!
Worf: Rectal exams, especially those performed with the cold hands of a Q, are without honor!
Lt. Tannen: What's the matter, Ensign McFly? Chicken?
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Picard: "Counselor, can I see you a minute? It's time for your annual breast examination. Guinan will be handling it today. I'll be working on the Captain's log."
Sonny: Any requests?
Troi: The Candy Man!
Wesley: Bye Bye Bye!
Sonny: Any more requests?
Beverly: Blurred Lines!
Geordi: She Blinded Me With Science!
Sonny: Any other requests?
Riker: The Adventures of Greggery Peccary!
Worf: Wrecking Ball!
Sonny: Any requests at all?
Data: Debussy's La mer, Third Movement!
Picard: Tea for Two!
Sonny: And, Whiskey for Breakfast it is.
Beverly: Is that a song?
Sonny: Nope.
I'd really like some Earl Grey Tea, Luke, but on the Stargazer I had a devil of a time living down the name Jean Tea Earl Grey Luc.
Barclay: *indignant squawk*
Translation: All right, who's playing with Warp 10?!
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