Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #475: A Visit from the Admiralty

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Important Upgrade" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

The new lightweight Cerebro Slimline model was a big hit with Professor X



Next, we have the "Critical Discussions" Award, going to tharpdevenport for:

Picard: "Okay, Wesley, in the event that the writer's decide I'm your father next season, I've decided to have 'that talk' with you. You see, when a orange disc and a blue tornado fall in love, the disc puts itself in the tornado and it's not the size of the dsic but the motion of the oscilation and eight months or so later ... wait, what the hell was I talking about?"


Next, we have the "Matters of Perspective" Award, going to shivkala for:

Ashley Judd: When I'm a Golden Globe nominated actress, I'm going to look back on this and laugh.

Wil Wheaton: When I win a bunch of awards for the web videos I'm going to do, I'll look back on this fondly, too.

Ashley Judd: I didn't say I'd look back on this fondly.



Next, we have the "Subterfuge 101" Award, going to inflatabledalek for:

Wesley: Ha, my life may depend on fooling the entire ship I'm hooked on the game, but with my fake headset on I can walk the decks with impunity!

Ogawa: Where's your game?

Wesley: Balls.



Next, we have the "Violation of Poke-Code 47: Not Playing The Game" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

PICARD: I heard you don't want to play Pokemon Go.
WESLEY: No! I like it! I just got tired of playing it!
PICARD: Put the headset on.
WESLEY: NOOOO!


Our Photoshop Award goes to jep for:

Picard likes his games old school. And he cheats.

The Award goes to Finn for:

Judd's Log. I should have fucking stuck with music like Mother and Sis. I'm fucking embarrassed doing this. Who would be addicted to a video game walking around oblivious to what's really happening in the real world. The Wheaton Idiot would be sooner forgotten. He's kidding himself if folks would remember him in twenty-five years.

This weeks KBL goes to Leviathan for:

Picard: It's just an anti smugness device. It's going to....fix...you.



Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners! And now, you all know them, you may fear them, you may want to be one of them or you may be about to catch them doing something awful and being protected by their rank! That's right, it's the Admirals!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Admiral Nakamura: This is a fine ship, Captain. It makes me wish I could command a starship again. Wait, can! You're fired, Picard.

Remmick: I interrogated Crusher for nearly 3 hours, and I couldn't determine if he's the father or not.

Admiral Quinn: Doctor Crusher can be tough to get answers out of.

Remmick: Doctor Crusher, perhaps I should have talked to her instead of her son.

Crusher: Now, you press the hypospray gently against the neck and then press this button.

Quinn Screams

Crusher: And before you do that, you make sure it's not loaded with acid.

Admiral Haftel: You're trying to make me out to be the bad guy here, aren't you? All I'm trying to do is take a child away from her father with no good cause.

Picard: How do people as stupid as you get to be Admirals anyway?

Admiral Hanson: Don't you worry, Commander. We'll stop the Borg, we've organized a fleet of our oldest science vessels and light cruisers. They won't know what hit them.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: You are right, Wesley. There is a uniform more ridiculous than yours.

 

[Nerys Myk]

HANSON: We'll pick this up later Riker. I gotta go see Captain Miller at the One-Two. He's up to something.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the Log entry win

Hanson:....big shoes to fill, Wil. One more thing..

Riker: Yes, sir?

Hanson: Your fly's open. Hanson out

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win!

Wesley: Why does Admiral Nakamura stand like that?

Data: He is displaying the range of motion he has due to the two-piece nature of the Admiral uniform. I believe it is a demonstration of what's called a "power move."

Quinn: You alright, son?

Remmick: Yeah, just anxious. It's like I've got butterflies or something in my stomach.

Quinn: Well take care of it, you look like you're going to burst!

Crusher: There, the Admiral's Viagra shot is taken care of.

Admiral Haftel: I've taken a great personal risk coming here!

Picard: Sir, I thought Starfleet sent you here.

Haftel: They did! Do you know how many Admiral's are sent here and die, or end up arrested, or are found to have parasites living in them, or whatever? Being asked to visit you guys is like Starfleet Command deciding to let us go without having to fire us.

Admiral Hanson: ...and if you could stretch things out over the next few months, you know, leave people wanting more, that would be great. It adds tension. People love that sort of thing.

 

[Hutchy01]

"Nakamura": So Clark wasn't enough, an elderly Asian man is too much, what works as a disguise?

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: We've called you here, Admiral, for you to pick up one of our orphan children.
Haftel: Orphan? You mean a refugee from some planet?
Picard: No, actually it's the daughter of one of our officers. He says he doesn't want to be raising a child on a starship, due to the dangers. Also, she's positronic, so if something happens to the ship, that technology might be lost forever. But I think he's just being an"artist".
Haftel: So? Tell that deadbeat Data to take responsibility for his offspring. That's what humans do.
Picard: Yes, but you see, he is adamant about handing her over to Starfleet or a welfare agency. Whatever.
Haftel: And you want me to rattle his cage, is that it?
Picard: No, we want you to take the dependent off our hands. Hey, maybe you could raise her?
Haftel: I didn't keep my own boots spit-shined all these years only to go around raising someone else's drunken shore leave mistake. Tell Commander Data no dice - he has to raise his own baby. If he's really against it, let him marry some cross-eyed baby mama who's into robots. He's fully-functional, right?
Picard: Hello, orphan?
Haftel: Tell it to Vulcan Jerry Springer! I've got a fleet to run!

Wesley: Uh oh, he's doing Japanese disco dancing again.
Data: Ah. The "Giant Robot".

 

[Hutchy01]

Maddox's Blue Steel was well known throughout the fleet.

 

[Jedman67]

Admiral Hansen: "Lieutenant Worf, I'm granting you a field promotion to Captain. Congratulations!"
Riker: "Hey! What about me? I'm second in command!"
Hanson: "Commander, remind me. How many times have you crashed that ship??"

 

[Hutchy01]

Admiral Hansen: Lieutenant Worf, I'm granting you a field promotion to Captain. Congratulations!"
Riker: "Hey! What about me? I'm second in command!"
Hanson: "Commander, remind me. How many times have you crashed that ship??"

Riker: Less than my girlfriend has!

 

[Finn]

Wesley: He's staring at you

Data: Oh that. It's nothing new. He used to follow me into the dorm showers when I was at the Academy.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: If this works, we'll never have to worry about crazy Admirals again!

 

[tharpdevenport]

IS IT SEASON ONE and/or TWO? IDENTIFICATION CHECK LIST:

☑ Lousy cinematography.
☑ Poor lighting.
☑ Overall 1970's cheapness feel with some good ideas.
☑ Extra looking into the camera.
☑ Unecessary young child/teen character.

Yup, it's season two.

 

[Finn]

Season Two, dumbass. No wooden paneling

 

[Mutai Sho-Rin]

Season Two, dumbass. No wooden paneling

I hope this is just friendly banter between pals. If tharpdevenport is offended by your remark, I'll have to give a warning for flaming.

 

[Finn]

I hope not. I thought it was funny how the picture was missing the wooden paneling, often associated with the 70s.

Unless he was going for the irony

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Remmick: You sank my battleship!

Nakamura: Like it? I call it "The Riker".

Picard: Unnecessary, Admiral. You do not possess the stinknuts that my first officer wields.

Wesley: How does the captain know that?

Data: Ensign, there are a few things that are not meant for junior officers to hear.

Maddox (to camera): And for you viewers at home, you can see the rest of this scene for just 50 credits!

 

[Nerys Myk]

QUINN: You okay?
REMMICK: I think I have that bug that's going around.

 

[tharpdevenport]

I can't say I know Finn at all, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and if not intended as flaming, I'll forgive and forget.