Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #475: A Visit from the Admiralty

[Finn]

I can't say I know Finn at all, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and if not intended as flaming, I'll forgive and forget.

I really apologize.

 

[tharpdevenport]

No problem. We've all done something unintentionally online, especially at TrekBBS at one point or another.

Now I'll just go edit my entry and make sure season two is in there... ;-)

 

[Jedman67]

Picard: "THERE ARE FOUR TEA BAGS!!"
Admiral: "Jean Luc..?"
Picard: "FOUR!! THERE ARE FOUR TEA BAGS!!!"
Admiral: "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF PICARD, THE CARDASSIANS DO NOT TRADE IN TEA ITEMS!!"
Picard: "Apologies sir, I tend to get these flashbacks whenever Will brings me my coffee."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Good lord, Will -- you've really let yourself go to merde. Better head on over to Holodeck 4 and get some exercise before the admiral gets here."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Haftel: Very lifelike Captain Picard mannequin. Head's not quite shiny enough, though.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

ADMIRAL: I'm so proud of my son. I wanted him to learn the universe didn't owe him anything so I made him work for all his privileges, even though he was exceptionally naturally talented. I even contacted his Captain and made sure he was not to be given special treatment and had to put in his hours at the crappy jobs and work his way up to being in the bridge crew. That, I think, is why he grew up to be such a well adjusted officer.
WESLEY: Sounds like a dork.

QUINN: Remember. Your job is to be as much of an ass to the crew as possible.
REMMICK: Understood.

WORF: Wake him up. I think I could take him if I was prepared.

ADMIRAL: Sentient being? I think the 'Property of United Federation of Planets' stamp on her forehead speaks for itself.

ADMIRAL: Haha. She beat you at poker? Maybe *she* should be the Federation's youngest captain, mr "Loves to turn down ships".

 

[Finn]

Picard: "Good lord, Beverly -- you've really let yourself go to merde. Better head on over to Holodeck 4 and get some exercise before the admiral gets here."

Fixed

 

[Nerys Myk]

HANSON: You guys forget to pay the light bill or something?

 

[Smellincoffee]

Worf, sotto: Doctor, do not be overly zealous in your duty. If he perishes, we all receive promotions.
Crusher, sotto: Worf, this isn't Kronos.

Adm. Nakamura: Big brass ones! I got `em!
Adjutant: He seriously makes this same joke every time he introduces himself to a new crew.

Admiral Quinn: Look, Remmick, between the two of us, this ship is run by a bunch of old women. We need some youth, some vigor, some DRIVE -- someone who will kick the Ferengi in the hindquarters instead of making nice with them.
Picard: I CAN HEAR YOU.

Adm. Haftel: Look, Johnny, all I'm sayin' is that it's not professional for the ship's counselor to be sittin' on the bridge dressed like she's going clubbing. Give the girl a uniform or stick her in Ten-Forward.

Hanson: I don't know how to tell you this, but I just got a communique from Picard. He's gone off and eloped with some Vash woman.
Crusher: That - -- that- -- that TROLLOP!
Hanson: He may be AWOL, doctor, but there's no need to call the captain names.

 

[Nerys Myk]

NAKAMURA: Notice you don't have a Science Officer, so I brought you one. Gotta have someone to do all that sciencey stuff.
DATA: Say what?

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Why did the Trill cross the road?
Quinn: ...?
Picard: Because his symbiont was a chicken!
Quinn: I dont get it.

 

[Jedman67]

Crusher: "Where's the Captain?"
Worf: "In his office, reading the Admiral's will."
Crusher: "Reading what with Will?"
Worf: "His last will and testament."
Crusher: "When there's a Will, there's a way."

Quinn: "Picard, there's a spy on your ship, I believe it's Riker!"
Picard: "So THAT'S why he always crashes my ship! The bastard!!"
Quinn: "No, that's just incompetence."

 

[Noname Given]

Adm. Nakamura: "Wait? You rendezvoused with the U.S.S. Yamato in the Gamilion sector? No wonder it blew up!"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Following a brief stop at Antos IV, Harry Mudd, disguised as Admiral Nakamura, attempts to interest Captain Picard in "Theta", presumably the latest in positronic technology. His thinly veiled plot to capture the Enterprise-D with the help of "Theta" fails, partly due to the android's persistently inane expression, partly due to Picard's memory of the famed Kirk anti-computer/android maneuver.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

A follow-up to @Smellincoffee's eavesdropping Picard:

Quinn: "Okay, let's make this interesting...how about...(leans forward and whispers) loser has to get a Picard haircut."
Remmick: "Wow, and I thought I played dirty..."
Picard: "STILL. HEAR. YOU!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Adm. Nakamura: Throw out your hands!! Stick out your tush!! Hands on your hips Give them a push!! You'll be surprised You're doing the French Mistake!!
DATA: Uh oh. Wesley you might want to call sick bay.
WES:Why?
DATA:Trust me.

 

[Triskelion]

Hanson: Commander Riker, in Captain Picard's absence, I've got a special job for you.
Riker: Command the ship, sir?
Hanson: No, turn up the lights in the briefing room; the glare is the Borg's problem now.

Crusher: 20 CC's of Viagara, stat!
Worf: Talk about waking up with a stiff neck.

 

[Leviathan]

Thanks for the Win!

Nakamura: It's Performance Review time! Now Data, Wesley and Picard have always been the ones to save the ship but to avoid hurt feelings it's Participation Trophies all around...even for Worf.

 

[Finn]

Riker: Do we have to do this?
Worf: Yes...Captain's orders
Geordi: He was really shocked. So many things wrong....

 

[Jedman67]

Crusher: 20 CC's of Viagara, stat!
Worf: Talk about waking up with a stiff neck.

The image on the LCARS display looks phallic all of a sudden...