Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #470: Shorthanded

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Sorry to be so late with starting this one, the holiday weekend made things crazy.

First up to the plate, we have the "Good to know" Award, going to Honorable Ensign for:

Geordi: All right, Commander, you win the bet. We DO have enough firepower to destroy a planet.



Next, we have the "Guidelines & Expectations" Award, going to Eydie Munroe for:

Security Officer: Dammit Worf, tagging me when my back is turned is against the rules!


Next, we have the "Diplomacy" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

PICARD: No, no! This may be the electric entity's way of establishing peaceful relationships! Make no aggressive movements!
TASHA: Screw you!


Next, we have the "Too Late" Award, going to The Laughing Vulcan for:

Worf: "We're being hailed by the Borg... It seems that the Borg have assimilated tribbles!"
Riker: "Red alert, shields up."
off screen: "prrr prrr prrr prrr prrr prrr" translation "Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated."
Worf: "Permission to shit myself, Commander."
Riker: "Denied. We're at red alert, mister!"
Worf: "I was sort of asking for retroactive permission."



Next, we have the "Well that's why we bring Unnamed Ensigns" Award, going to: shivkala for:

Riker: It sure is lucky that falling debris missed Data, LaForge, and I, isn't it Ensign? Ensign? Riker to Enterprise, we lost another unnamed Ensign!



Our Photoshop Award goes to Triskelion for:

Lieutenant: Give me back my Captain Picard doll!
Worf: Never!
Doll: Return that moon to its orbit!

The Award goes to Finn for:

Chief Engineer's Log: I told everybody I saw all kinds of Gamma, Zeta and Epsilon rays, and even some tears in space and time. But really, all I saw was hydrogen being ignited.

Our KBL goes to Nerys Myk for:

GEORDI: I guess you could say.....
Puts on VISOR
...this planet went out with a bang.
YEAAAAHHH!



Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, since there's such a late start, I decided to do things differently for this contest.

We're going to start out with 2 photos to caption adding more every couple of days, with the contest ending the weekend of the 16th.

So lets begin!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Yar: Captain, shouldn't we pull over and ask for directions?

Picard: Never, Lieutenant.

Worf: Commander, you're not needed here anymore. Data is in command, I'm the new Ops manager, we have a Ferengi Helm officer, we don't need a womanizing Executive Officer anymore.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the Log win

Yar: Captain, Can I turn off the Dr Brahms screensaver?

Worf: Nog?
Riker: Who?
Worf: Damn it, it happened again. I'm supposed to be on Deep space Nine....Where's Geordi?

 

[jep]

Worf: "Did you just say that * I * have a jacked up forehead? Do they have mirrors on your homeworld?"

.

 

[jep]

Yar: "Sir, why are we the only two people on the bridge?"

Picard: "Well Tasha, I wanted to show you something, and... well... 'Little Jean-Luc' is rather shy in front of crowds."

.

 

[jep]

Worf: "Say it one more time. I dare you. "

Riker: "Is there a problem Mr. Worf?"

Worf: "The Ferengi keeps telling me that I smell like lilac, Sir."

.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Leadhead!

Yar: Weren't you just...?
Picard: Picard maneuver.

Worf: If you try to sell me something, I'll give you a new Rule of Acquisition called, "How to acquire a Klingon pointed boot up your shaft."
Ferengi: Noted.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, PbCranium!

Yar: Sir, they're approaching with shields up and I'm reading they have a weapons lock on us! We're shorthanded as it is, do you want me to fire phasers, go to evasive maneuvers, signal our surrender, all of the above? Sir!

Picard: Oh, sorry Lt. Yar, I was just wondering if you think the area above my seat is too plain? I was wondering if we should maybe put some kind of design on it. Something understated, perhaps just a few lines, I think it would draw more attention to me, make me look more powerful. You know?

Riker: Problem Mr. Worf?

Worf: Even though this is all an elaborate Romulan simulation, myself included, I can't do it. Read my holographic lips: it will be a peaceful day in Sto'vo'kor when I serve with a Ferengi!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Yar: "So, you're you from the future thanks to Q?"

Future Picard: "Yes."

Yar: "And you say I died a senseless death in this timeline?"

Future Picard: "Correct."

Yar: "And that a temporal anomoly altered the future and I was alive again, but I chose to go back in time and you let me, at which point I was imprisoned, raped, and then murdered after being betrayed by my own daughter?"

Future Picard: "Yes. Sounds much worse when you say it."

Yar: "So, what if Q let me come back with you to the future?"

Future Picard: "Um, no good. I already tried. Deanna crashed the ship on Veridian III and you were killed in the crash. The only Bridge member, coincidently."

Yar: "Damn. I think 'time' hates me. Is my dearest Data at least okay?"

Future Picard: "Eh, no. He's dead, too."

Yar: "Huh. What about you?"

Future Picard: "Oh, pretty good actually. I got to help with the underground peace movement on Romulus, I got it on with one or two women, managed to see Wesley off finally, prevented Roluman ploys to cause a war more than once, and saved the Federation from a Borg invasion twice and helped prevent them from altering history. LOL, now that I think about it, my life has kind of been awesome."

 

[LeadHead]

Round 2 of Photos to caption!

Captain's Log: We are traveling through the Boring Sector, therefore I'm giving extra time off to everyone but Lt. La Forge.

Data: It is quite confusing why this console both fires phasers and opens hailing frequencies.

 

[Noname Given]

Lt. Tasha Yar: "What? Unlike Counselor Troi, I have my Helmsman Learner's Permit."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

Lt. Yar's Personal Log: "While being put in the 'penalty box' by Q is a fearful proposition, I have decided to get the Captain a latinum plated nose-hair trimmer for his birthday."

Worf: "Consider yourself fortunate, Ferengi, that the Captain has developed arthritis. You have been spared the dishonour of the stinknuts!"

LaForge: "I keep forgetting. Are we at warp, or is that the screensaver? Aw crap, we're at warp. LaForge to transporter room, have you beamed the away team down yet?"

Riker: "And this is the bridge, nerve centre of a starship. All sensors, and system readings are collated and presented here via the main computer for the command staff to instantaneously act upon and..."
Troi telepathically: "Trying to impress another trollop, Imzadi? You wear your lust like your uniform. You just can't keep it zipped."
Woman: "You were saying, Commander?"
Riker: "Sorry, lost my train of thought there..."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: You know, you're not really a very good security chief. How'd you like to swap jobs with Worf full time?

Yar: Over my dead body.

Riker: When I escape from this holodeck my report won't include the fact that in the fantasy created from my mind all the women haven't aged in 15 years bar changing their hair. Tori will have me in therapy for months if that comes up.

 

[inflatabledalek]

And the other two!

Geordi: Sir, I think a prank has been played on you. If the new Lt. was really invisible I'd still be able to see them on infra-red.

Data: Fascinating, Worf actually does not have any buttons to press. Instead he spends all his time drawing small ejaculating penises on the wood.

 

[shivkala]

Picard: Captain's Log-Apparently my hunch was right, Ops is kind of a useless position. I've reassigned Data to the waste reclamation unit instead.

Troi: She gets a uniform? All I get is a rotating array of cleavage bearing dresses!
Riker: I'm not seeing a problem...

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Thanks for the win!

Riker: Don't look. The doctor's doing her "walk like a striptease queen" thing again.

 

[Nerys Myk]

FERENGI: He's gonna stinknuts me, isn't he?
WORF: Sorry, kid. Goes with the territory.

 

[TwoJakes]

Riker: Don't look. The doctor's doing her "walk like a striptease queen" thing again.

Worf: "I told you we should install a pole on the bridge."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Take us out, Mr.Crusher....
YAR: I'm Yar, sir!
PICARD: Sorry, just spitballing an idea.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: ...and this is the bridge, where people pretend to look busy.