Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #451: Cargo Bays

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New Contest time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Winning Strategies" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

WORF: I think he's dead. And he's the only one the aliens will talk to! Now they'll kill us all!
RIKER: Prop him up and get me a pair of dark glasses! I saw this work in a movie once.

STAR TREK: Weekend At Picard's



Next, we have the "Yeah..... really honorable" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

WORF: Waiiit a minute. No other Klingon in the entire universe but me actually behaves with honor! I can't believe I've never seen it before!



Next, we have the "Important Specialties" Award, going to hux for:

PICARD: I believe you specialise in acute smugness, doctor. Have you met commander Riker?



Next, we have the "Rage Quit" Award, going to captain crow for:

Computer: Access Denied; red keycard required.

Worf: Keycard? I don't need no fuckin' keycard!

[Worf rips door open]



Next, we have the "Secret Ingredient" Award, going to Smellincoffee, for:

Turns out Troi's chocolate brownies had something else other than chocolate in them.



This contest seemed like a good time to bring out this old favorite special award.

The award goes to shivkala for:

Worf: Sir, it is the weekend, sensors indicate you need to post another caption contest.
Picard/Leadhead: Sorry, I didn't catch that, I'm, er, dead, yeah that's it.
Riker: You know what, Sir, go ahead and take the week off, Worf and I have this. You go play Mass Effect.

This weeks KBL goes to Gep Malakai for:

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, we spend a lot of time on the Bridge, in Engineering, at Ten Forward, we don't spend a lot of contest time in the cargo bays so we will head down to there this week. Don't get lost, remember the manifest and don't reprogram the cargo transporters!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Another destroyed Starfleet Shuttle?

La Forge: Yeah, the pilot survived fortunately. Some guy named Chakotay.

Tasha: (thinking) This just looks weird. Couldn't they have put my present in a gift bag?

Crusher: Don't we have anti-gravity lifts for this?

La Forge: They cut the special effects budget again.

Security Chief's Log: As we prepare to stun the Ferengi intruder, we hope to see him re-enact a scene from "The Karate Kid."

La Forge: Nope, the whiskey isn't hidden in this one either. Lets keep looking.

 

[Finn]

Riker: Sorry about this but a space junk hit the bridge module a couple hours ago and damaged the replicator in the Captain's Ready Room. You better put this all together before he gets up and wants his Earl Grey hot!

 

[Hutchy01]

It wouldn't be a contest that feature an X-men actor without me making the obvious jokes.

The IKEA Stockholm Shuttlecraft set. Now only missing 5 vital parts!

Yar: Diet coke cans seem bigger than before.

We found this in the Alkali Lake on Earth.

Barclay: We're engineers why are we dealing with Data's sample jar?

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Any idea what went on here?
GEORDIE: All I know is, just before security hauled Wesley out, he shouted "You gotta fight, for your right to PARTY!" and then threw up on the Captain.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TASHA: Why would I get a "Going Away Present"?

 

[Finn]

First Officer's log: Perhaps it was kind of mean telling those two that the cargo we got at Starbase 47 would help them find a woman.

 

[JCDaly]

LaForge: Reg, will ya stop opening the lid, the water's only 42.8 C
Barclay: But sir, I wanna dye Easter Eggs *nowww*!

 

[Seven of Five]

Geordi: So my yellow rook takes your blue pawn.
Beverly: We really need a better hobby.

GlaDOS: Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not.

 

[Finn]

Tasha reading....: JJ Abrams here...from the realm of lens flares. Don't react...but in the next episode...I think...you are going to be killed by an oil sludge. I'll transport you out at the last possible moment, replacing you with a lifeless clone that not even Beverly would be able to bring back to life. I'll take you to Romulus where you would come up with the most SOB story....

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: Don't we anti grav sleds or something? I saw one in TMP!

CRUSHER: TV budget, buddy.

 

[Nerys Myk]

FERENGI: Rings? Are they gold pressed latinum?

 

[Gepard]

TFTW, LeadHead!

RIKER: Put it all on eBay. The Trekkies will pay a fortune for it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

REG: We don't even have the box, how can we re-gift it?
LAFORGE: Worse, according to my database, Ensign Johnson was the one I got it from.

 

[47of74]

Reg: How are we going to explain to the Captain that we replaced his Early Grey with this stuff?

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thankee for the win!

Riker: Keep at it, people! No one goes off duty until we find where that screw rolled away to!

Tasha, after licking it: It's not a bomb.

LaForge: What IS this, anyway?
Crusher: Stool sample from the planet.

Ferengi: My god, it's full of stars!

Barclay: GGRRRRGH! IT DIDN'T RISE!
LaForge: Reg, you take baking way too seriously.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Geordi: "The shady and suspicious person we took aboard is firing on us!"

Beverly: "Quickly -- hide behind the dangerous containers of unstable substances!"

Riker: "These LEGO sets just keep getting more expensive and difficult."

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Well that's all the pieces. You know what the Captain wants, Geordi.
Geordi: ...A model of the Millennium Falcon for his display case?
Riker: No, a metallurgical analysis. HA HA, just kidding, yes of course a Millennium Falcon.

Yar: I thought this Picard doll was designed to scale.
Troi: It is.
Yar: Yikes. No wonder it's 90% off.

Starfleet HR Trainer: Now we will see what happens when cargo bays lack proper access control, and shipping materials are not properly stored.
Starfleet Forklift Driving Recruit: These training films are always so staged.
1950's Training Film Narrator: ...And there it goes! Next stop, Mercantilism!

Barclay: Oh the chili's ruined.
Geordi: There goes our Sonja Gomez housewarming idea.
Barclay: Meh, the computer simulations didn't work out anyway.
Geordi: Yeah but they never do. I think it's an algorithm problem.

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: Lucky we found these backup positronic brains. Data would be gone without them
REG: What's the label say on this one?
LAFORGE: "Abby Normal".
REG: Dr. Soong and his wacky names!

 

[2takesfrakes]

YAR: "Commander Riker, I followed the instructions, when I put in the ship's new Security System, but ... am I supposed to have important-looking left-over parts like this, when I'm done?"