TNG Caption This! #405: Close Quarters

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Change of Pace" Award, going to:

Troi: "I don't believe what I'm sensing from the planet..."

Ro: "What is it?"

Troi: "Completely sane and normal people that aren't trying to kill us!"

Next, we have the "Cramped Ready Room" Award, going to:

Troi: So basically we should have these full staff meetings in the observation lounge, there's more room in there. Plus we've had to bring in these chairs from there anyway, creating an extra pointless trip.

Next, we have the "Quick! Hide the meeting notes!" Award, going to:

Riker: Crap, she's here. Okay, I hereby call the first meeting of the "Troi's Ex's Club" adjourned.

Next, we have the "Useful Products" Award, going to:

With Troi's endorsement, sales of the orgasmotron increased by 500%

Next, we have the "Welcome to the Contests & the Importance of Futuristic Scanning Technology" Award, going to:

Dr. Crusher: The tricorder doesn't lie. She really is a brunette.

Marina Sirtis tries to explain what accent she's going for in the first season. Vaugely East-European?

Many thanks to all who participated and congrats to our winners!

Now, at the risk of taking another break from our character contests, next weekend I will be quite busy so instead of potentially missing a contest. I decided to do a quicker one with fewer photos, aimed to end Wednesday night, 3/25.

In the spirit of the tight time frame of the contest, the theme of this contest puts our heroes in tight spaces.

Here we go...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Data: Picard isn't going to take your suggestions so stop making them!

Data: Have you noticed how every Jeffries tube looks exactly the same?

Picard: (thinking) I can't believe it was less annoying to travel with Wesley in a shuttle.

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Fine, fine. You both get promotions."

Worf: "...why didn't I think of that?"

Data: "Perhaps this would be more efficient if we went single-file."

Riker: "And have you stare at my ass all day? I think not!"

Picard: "All the places you dragged me off to and this was the best you can do?"

Q: "I'm on a budget."

 

[shivkala]

Thanks, Leadhead for the win!

Worf: You do not have the guts to shoot us in the turbolift!

O'Brien: I was going to shoot you in the back, not the turbolift.

Picard: ...you know, if you are going to subject us to such corny jokes, please just shoot us and put us out of our misery!

Riker: Yep, I'm sure it's this Jeffries Tube I lost my phone in.

Data: That is what you said the other five times. I do not understand why you do not simply call your phone so we can at least listen for it.

Riker: Fine.

Riker dials and from his pocket comes the sound of the chorus to"Baby Got Back."

Riker: I had it the entire time, go figure...

Q: Now, now, Jean-Luc, come back and eat all your broccoli, then I'll return you to your ship.

Picard: No! You're not my meal-time supervisor!

Q: Have it your way, but pretty soon, your crew is going to grow tired of searching for you, and that Riker guy will get it into his head that now he's the Acting Captain...

Picard: I don't care! Besides, Riker would never abandon me, he's my best friend. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Lock and load!

WORF: Don't ever say that again.

PICARD: I'm getting the impression my "friend" might not be a sexy young woman.

Q: One out of three isn't bad, mon capitan.

 

[Mojochi]

Data: I smell feline supplement 32 on your breath. Where is my cat?

O'Brien: .... Awkward

Riker: Apparently, Mr. Jeffries came from a planet of people with CAST-IRON HANDS!

Picard: What does a god need with a starship?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

[

PICARD: So how can you possess an android anyway?
DATA: Stop questioning the premise or I will kill the Klingon!

RIKER: There's a surprising amount of blood spots in the Jeffries Tube.
DATA: Perhaps we should stop lining our crawl spaces with jagged metal, or else require knee pads to be built into all Starfleet uniforms.

Q: You're seriously betting on me NOT being a dick, Jean Luc?

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER:Wouldn't it be easier to set the internal sensors to "cat" and find Spot that way?

 

[Triskelion]

Miles: Anyone make a move on my wife and it's Hasta La Vista, Pepé Le Pew!
Data: And anyone chooses this moment to release their sphincter I will stick this phaser up it and pull the trigger. My olfactory receptors are better than the average dog's, you know.
Worf: Assimiliate this! Fweeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrpppp!
Picard: With the first stink a stain is forged that blinds us all irrevocably! Pwwaaaarrrrrrrppppp!
Keiko: I shoulda taken the other lift full of salarimen with video cameras....

Data: I see, sir. Dating a perfect 10 is like throwing that hyperspanner down this jefferies tube. I should go for a 6 or 7.
Riker: 1 to 6, Data. Trust me.
Data: Yes sir. But first I must retrieve my hyperspanner, for I will be needing it.

Q: Look at this. Some hillbillies got rich and moved into a big mansion.
Picard: Beverly Hills?
Q: No, Washington DC.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Mr. Worf, if you do that one more time in the turbo lift..."

 

[Hutchy01]

Worf: It is only a fly, it does not need phasering

Q: Remote control Jean-luc!

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "I understand why the chief took Keiko and Troi dragged me along, but I had no idea there was sexual tension between Mr. Data and Mr. Worf."

Worf: "...neither did I. Would one of you three please kill me now?"

Riker: "Good thing you warned everyone not to use the toilets while we were inspecting the conduits, eh Data?"

Data: "I believe that was your responsibility."

Riker: "Wait...no. That was your..."

*flushing sounds*

Q: "Isn't it perfect how they built this wall panel directly behind you so I could throw things at it?"

Picard: "Lovely."

 

[Vanyel]

Data: We all agreed Lt. Worf. Now hold still while I get rid of those nasty Klingon nose hairs.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"You know, Jean-Luc, from this angle you sort of look like Papa Smurf. Minus the beard, of course."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Q: Don't sulk, honey. I'll do the dishes.

 

[Nebusj]

Worf: ``They're bluffing. On that setting the phasers won't be able to stun the light fixtures.''

Riker: ``Gah. How many of those dangling vertical panels have we passed, Data?''
Data: ``Twenty, sir.''
Riker: ``And how many have I bonked my head on?''
Data: ``Twenty, sir.''
Riker: ``How many more do we have to pass?''
Data: ``Three hundred and eighteen.''
Riker: ``I hate Mondays."'

Picard: ``No, Q. We won't put up with any of your artsy split-screen cinematography.''
Q: ``Why, Jean-Luc! Do you mean to tell me the line must not be drawn heyah?''
Picard: ``I'm not talking to you.''

 

[Triskelion]

Q: Have you ever considered throwing out some of this Qo'noS House of Burger trash?

 

[2takesfrakes]

PICARD: "Mister O'Brien - I'm surprised at you! Data's too impressionable and easily led to take umbrage at his betrayal - but you?!!! Why, Chief?"

O'BRIEN: "To shut me wife up, sir. Night after night she nags at me, how I shouldn't let the bridge crew walk all over me; that I'm not getting my just due ... and so forth!"

 

[Leviathan]

Picard: So, the usual start to our Starfleet Union meeting?

 

[Ithekro]

Picard: Mr. O'Brian lower the phaser. I will send Lt. Worf to Deep Space Nine to join you after his next promotion. You won't be alone with your wife for long. You'll have your midwife before have your next child.