TNG Caption This! #354: Time Capsule: Part 5

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, time for a new contest!

First up to the plate, we have "The Cover-up" Award, going to:

Riker: Okay, so we're all agreed, we'll use the tractor beam and industrial sealant to put the planet back together before Captain Picard comes back. Okay, everyone, you know your jobs, get to work!

Next, we have the "Reboot" Award, going to:

Auditions for the 24th century Matrix remake were progressing well.

Next, we have the "Stages of Grief: Bargaining" Award, going to:

Worf: "Low testosterone? I can't have that on my record! Can't you say I've got gonorrhea or something?"

Batting Cleanup, we have the "Important Deletions" Award, going to:

DATA: And IIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEIIIII will always love....youuuuuuu!
WORF: Somebody please delete that movie from his memory banks.

Next, we have the "If they only knew..." Award, going to:

Salesman: This will make you look twenty years younger.
Riker: I can't see ever needing that ever.

The photoshop award is another tough call this week. 3 different entries were hilarious and deserving of the win, so they all win!

Data: "Taste The Rainbow."

RIKER: That's why it's a bad idea to compare asteroids to chocolate chips!

First Officer's Log Supplemental: Troi badly misunderstood me when I asked her if she'd like to get my rocks off...

Worf: Tell the boy if he reconfigures any of my Holo-deck exercise programs again, I will kill him!
Beverly: Now Worf, it can't be that bad! What did he do?
Worf: He re-programmed all of my opponents to look like "My Little Pony" and dis-engaged the safety protocols. He has NO HONOR!
​

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

And now, we reach Season 5 in our Time Capsule Series!

Here we go...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Data was quite cruel to Lore after capturing him.

Picard: The fans have waited a long time for this...

Sirtis: This is for trying to make out with me in the blooper reel!

Spock: This is Ambassador Spock of Vulcan. By now, the Federation's sensors are monitoring a supernova in the Hobus System, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

La Forge: Doc, do I really have to use this thing to download VISOR app updates?

Crusher: Oh, you can wirelessly update.

La Forge: Since when?

Crusher: 2012.

 

[Armored Saint]

GEORDI: Why the hell dentistry didn't evolve since the late 20th century?

WESLEY: Why the hell dentistry didn't evolve since the late 20th century?

(Standing) SPOCK: Spock, I'm you from the future! Cancel your trip on Romulus, THE WOMEN are no more hot! Don't waste your time.

 

[Finn]

Data: Geordi? Anybody? The Sleepy Hollow appears to have gone well, but I would like my body back. Anybody?

Riker: See if you can save the ship this time *evil chuckle*

Wesley: Deanna, there's chocolate ice cream in the observation lounge.

*sounds of someone leaving the helm station and running toward the doors to observation lounge*

Riker: Damn!

 

[Mojochi]

Data: I am afraid that in order to scroll the menu options, you will have to use my nose

Wesley: Crusher? I barely even groped her

Worf: A good day to die perhaps. Would've been a better day to wear my nonslip shoes though

Spock: Not bad, but the Vulcan salute leaves a lot to be desired

CMO's log: I believe that if the visor can be used to make him an assassin, then surely it can work to get him a date

 

[shivkala]

When he was turned on again, Data had to admit that Geordi was the all-time April Fool's Day prank champion. Again.

Picard: Today, you shall become a man!

Worf: ...And that, kids, is how I met your mother.

Spock: Isn't he missing something?

Data: I thought you said your double we're sending to greet the Romulans had to be unarmed.



I apologize in advance for the following obvious, yet, necessary puns:

That's one way to get ahead in Starfleet!

Just because Geordi's date went poorly did not mean he didn't intend to get some head tonight.

Though humiliated, Data had to admit, he did save face.

Time for another Data/Lore face-off!

That's using your head, Data!

Data goes to the head of the class.

Though fully functional in other matters, Data still was unsure what "Going to the head" really meant.

 

[jep]

Riker: (Sigh) Why couldn't I have a forehead that nice. It looks like it's never been used to knock down any doors. Or walls.


.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Worf: "Ike Turner's book Guide to Charming the Ladies is without honor!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER Hello, there! Anybody home? I - just dropped by because I heard the boy got caught in the big - Well - he seems all right now.

PICARD Yes. He got quite a bump on the head. We kind of thought there for a minute he was gonna leave us.

RIKER Oh.

WESLEY But I did leave you,Captain Picard. That's just the trouble. And I tried to get back for days and days.

BEVERLY There, there, lie quiet now. You just had a bad dream.

WESLEY No.

LAFORGE Sure. Remember me, your old pal, Geordi?

WESLEY Oh.

DATA And me, Data?

WORF You couldn't forget my face, could you?

WESLEY No. But it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you - and you - and you - and you were there.

RIKER Oh!

WESLEY But you couldn't have been, could you?

BEVERLY Oh, we dream lots of silly things when we -

WESLEY No, mom, this was a real, truly live place. And I remember that some of it wasn't very nice - but most of it was beautiful. But just the same, all I kept saying to everybody was, 'I want to go home!' And they sent me home. Doesn't anybody believe me?

PICARD Of course we believe you, Wesley.

WESLEY Oh, but anyway, Spot, we're home! Home! And this is my room - and you're all here! And I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all! And - Oh, Mom, there's no place like home!!

 

[jep]

Picard: "Come on guys, get his legs further apart. There, that's good. Now Wesley, I won't lie to you... this is going to hurt."

Wesley (Looking down) "Wow... Captain's log indeed."



.

 

[jep]

"Hold it right there Worf!! I've got a Tribble and I'm not afraid to use it!"



.

 

[Finn]

Deleted scene from Parallels 8473

Officer's Log. I've found myself in a quantum reality where Data is dead and I'm married to Lt.. I mean Commander Yar. It seems this Tasha was in love with Data and kept his head in her bedroom. It's creeping me out.

 

[inflatabledalek]

TFTW Leadhead!

Brent Spiner's attempt to go all method in his audition for the role of Dorium in Doctor Who didn't work out so well.

Picard: ...And we're not letting you go until you explain how you wound up back in a Star Fleet uniform in Nemesis.

Worf: OK, OK... I'm sorry I ate the last chocolate sundae, but you could just replicate more!

Troi: No one can eat chocolate in this show bar me! It's my one character trait that's not based around feeling vague emotions! You stick to the banging on about honour and loosing fights with any alien that boards the bridge, and I'll do the chocolate eating!

Spock: I am sorry Commander Selar, but even two of me working together can not come up with a way to make your contrived back story anything other than really stupid.

Stewart Baird: And when I'm finished with you, even you will think your name is Lavern!

 

[Triskelion]

Yay, TFTW & new contest Leadhead!

Marty Feldman/Igor: ♪ ♫ ♩ I ain't got no body... ♪ ♫ ♩
Data: I love this part.

Wesley: I dreamed I was shouting something embarrassing.
Picard: You mean like "I'm the prom queen, Robin!" Because that would be impossible to live down.

Worf: Walking and chewing gum simultaneously has dishonored my House!

Spock: Jim was right, that guy's a total douche.

LaForge: Is this repairing my VISOR, Doc?
Crusher: Oh no, that's our medical underwear cleanliness detector. And these readings worry me.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Today's lesson: Payback is a bitch!"

 

[Armored Saint]

Spock: I am sorry Commander Selar, but even two of me working together can not come up with a way to make your contrived back story anything other than really stupid.

SELAR: Illogical! What is stupid in my backstory of Vulcan doctor who have been promoted to Commander?

 

[Armored Saint]

SPOCK: Fascinatig Commander, but it would be logical to cover the TNT with arms.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Worf, you will tell us what we want to know...or we'll Shatnerize you!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: I don't suppose I could get you to sign this holo-poster?

SPOCK: Great, another fanboy.

 

[anthony_lynch15]

Data really wanted to get a-head in computers, but no-body would help him.

Picard had never felt such joy as he did in this moment.
Picard: Good morning Wesley, today's the day you set off for the academy.

Hold still, there's something on your head!

Spock: What is that?
Data: You said you wanted an unarmed hologram of yourself to act as a decoy.
Spock: That's.....not what I meant.

Geordi had no idea he was on the receiving end of Beverly's slingshot.