TNG Caption This! #354: Time Capsule: Part 5

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Apr 6, 2014.

  1. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    DATA: Look, Look, this is what I was asked to build. Right here, you do not have forearms. I was given this napkin, I mean...
    SPOCK: FUCK THE NAPKIN!
     
  2. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    LCARS Data is watching you masturbate.
     
  3. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    DATA: When I asked to command a starship, I meant to command the crew, not the ship herself.
     
  4. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Tasha: What the hell?
    Data: I like to watch.


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    Wesley: OH, you're supposed to wear the device. I've been putting it down my pants.
    Beverly: We figured.


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    Crewman: Are you sure you want me to shoot you in the face?
    Worf: I've been told it would increase my chances with the female crew. It's either this or I start wearing X ray specs and creeping everybody out.


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    Geordi: More X rays!
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2014
  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    NUKIRK: What the hell is that?

    NUSPOCK: No clue, we found it under San Francisco.
     
  6. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    CRUSHER: Please read the chart.

    GEORDI: I M A J R K... hey!
     
  7. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Admiral Admiral

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    FRY (os): Oh my god, it's Data!
    BRENT SPINER'S HEAD: God damn it, for the last time I'M NOT DATA!

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    BEVERLY: Just sit back and relax while we turn on the nitrous.
    WORF: I will be the one performing your wisdom teeth extraction.
    WESLEY: Wait, WHAT?
    BEVERLY: Hold him down Will.

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    WORF (Thinking): He's not aiming anywhere near me, I can jump him any time.

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    SPOCK: It's okay. I have a secret signal to my people. If I ever cut my arms off, they'll know it's a trap.

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    GEORDI: You know, I've been thinking. Instead of a giant arc that goes across my entire face, couldn't my visor just be a small device directly in front of my eyes?
    BEVERLY: Yeah, but you look more silly this way, and it makes all us doctors smile.
     
  8. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Spock: I told you 3D chess with a Wookie was a bad idea.
     
  9. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    TFTW!

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    DATA: The game was decided by a coin toss. Heads I lost.



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    In the future, everyone is forced to wear Google Glass.



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    WORF (thinking): Did she fire 5 beams, or 6? Do I feel lucky?



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    SPOCK (sighing): Camera adds 10lbs; and always all around the ears.



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    LAFORGE (about to sneeze): Is all this pollen an essential part of the test, Doctor? You know I have hayfever.
    CRUSHER: Test? No. Torture? Yes.
     
  10. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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  11. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Geordi (talking very fast): Doctor, I know you're trying to examine my VISOR, but it's kind of freaking me out here. I mean can't you just do it when I'm not wearing it? And what does this yellow light mean?

    Beverly: Relax, Geordi. Slow down!

    Geordi: What...does...this...yellow...light...mean?
     
  12. doubleohfive

    doubleohfive Fleet Admiral

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    TROI (O.S.)
    Be glad this isn't my penis.
     
  13. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Spock2: Lieutenant Uhura once observed that even by Vulcan standards, I was hung like a Nimbusian sandfly.
    Data:
    Intriguing....
    Spock1: Quiet, you!
     
  14. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    LEADHEAD: Come on, it's just sunday, I'm not really late.
     
  15. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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