TNG Caption This! #353: Time Capsule: Part 4

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! I didn't think I'd get this one up even remotely on time so.... yay!

First up to the plate, we have the "Just READ the manual!" Award, going to:

``Or was it that they're supposed to press the red button second?''

Next, we have the "Great Suggestion!" Award, going to:

Worf: "I am sorry, ladies, but a human female could never compare with a Klingon female."
Blonde: "We understand. But...could two human females compare with a Klingon female?"
Worf: "Now that is an interesting question!"

Next, we have the "Most Popular event in the 24th Century!" Award, going to:

PICARD (o c) Slap the Boy! Line up here for Slap the Boy! Only two credits!

(sotto voco) Data, replicate more tickets, demand is greater than I expected.

Next, we have the "Apparently, some things can't be replicated" Award, going to:

Geordi: (sigh) No, DaiMon, I DON'T have any Grey Poupon!!!

Next, we have the "Sacred Traditions" Award, going to:

DATA: Commander Riker. I believe by human tradition I will now need to procure a shotgun, but I will need your command codes to override the replicator safeties.

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Captain's log: Acting Ensign Crusher's hand to hand combat training has yielded less than impressive results

Geordi: "Hey, it may be boxy, but it gives great mileage."

Many thanks to all who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, our time capsule series hits season 4!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Am I the only one who thinks we should have answered that distress call from Alderaan before we went to Risa for Beer Festival?

Data: And then, Tasha began making loud noises indicative of-

Ishara: Shut up!

Worf: The last CMO liked it when I invited her to drink Klingon tea!

Riker: No, Worf. He keeps his wallet in here.

Data Activates

Riker: Whoops.

Riker: This was obviously a holodeck fantasy, these uniforms wont even be around in 5 years!

 

[jep]

Data: "Taste The Rainbow."

.

 

[shivkala]

Riker: Okay, so we're all agreed, we'll use the tractor beam and industrial sealant to put the planet back together before Captain Picard comes back. Okay, everyone, you know your jobs, get to work!

Ishara: Damn flies!

Worf: ...and next time the Captain is not satisfying you, you know where I'll be...

Riker: Okay, I've got him, I've got him, I don't got him! I don't got him! Ow, ow, my back!

Worf: It's okay, I've got him.

Riker: You sure? I mean, I'd totally carry him, but you know my lower back issues...

Tomalak: Commander's Log: I have been told that efforts to erase Riker's mind has proven to be ridiculously easy. It's almost like it was pretty empty to begin with.

 

[Finn]

Tomalak: Repeat after me…Trip died…

Riker: Trip died

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for the pick

Riker: Drunken Klingon miners again ey?

Data: For future reference, we will pretend I did not know I could do this

Beverly: No, seriously it helps keep the curl in my bob all day. You should try it

Worf: But Commander, I didn't get you anything for you're birthday

It's specifically designed to target the gray, but maybe we should've waited until Mr. Mot got back

 

[Triskelion]

Data: Well that's it, sir. We turned over every rock.
Riker: Still no sign of Geordi's dignity, Data?
Data: Not one sensor blip, sir.
Geordi: Hey! I'm on the bridge!

Data: For future reference I would rather deal with the space roaches.

Crusher: Don't worry, Worf. It's not the size of your shuttlecraft, but the throb of your thrusters.
Worf: Ohhh?
Crusher: But penises? Size matters big time.
Worf: Awww.

Worf: Even if we manage to get him through the little door, he sounds nothing like a cuckoobird!

Salesman: This will make you look twenty years younger.
Riker: I can't see ever needing that ever.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TFTW! My second time winning the same picture.

RIKER: Data, did you just destroy Earth?
DATA: That is correct Commander. Acting under orders from Captain Picard.
RIKER: The Captain ordered you to destroy Earth?
DATA: Yes sir. He ordered me to find an excuse not to go to the Admiral's ball. With Earth destroyed, there will be no Admiral's ball. Therefore he now has an excuse not to go.

DATA: I slept with your sister.
ISHARA: Shut up!

WORF: No, I will not report for my yearly physical, Doctor. It is against my Klingon beliefs.
BEVERLY: Quit playing that card!

DATA: And IIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEIIIII will always love....youuuuuuu!
WORF: Somebody please delete that movie from his memory banks.

TOMALAK: Mind probe of Commander Riker complete. Note to self. Take next vacation to Bynar, and buy one of their holodecks.

 

[Armored Saint]

Mot the barber: Commander, I warn you, this technology isn't safe. A frequent use can cause back injuries and and weight gain. Why don't you prefer a good old Just for men to hide your gray hair?
RIKER: I'm an evolved man from the 24th century, I don't use those primitive shits! So let your Vulcan assistant make his job.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Data: "That's right! I can dodge faster than a phaser beam!"
Ishara: "Showboat!"
Data: "Biatch!"

Worf: "Low testosterone? I can't have that on my record! Can't you say I've got gonorrhea or something?"

 

[Armored Saint]

ISHARA: Hey, be careful Data! Don't you see I'm welding?
DATA: May I point out that you are not doing it correctly?

 

[Armored Saint]

Thanks for the photoshop award.

RIKER: That's why it's a bad idea to compare asteroids to chocolate chips!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

(Background noise over speakers Asteroids sound)

RIKER: "Data, whatch out that UFO will show up at any moment"
DATA: "No problem sir"

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the photoshop award.

RIKER: That's why it's a bad idea to compare asteroids to chocolate chips!

You might have won it again

 

[jep]

Worf: "If you were not the Captain's concubine, I would kill you where you stand."

Beverly: "All I did was call you needle-dick."


.

 

[Armored Saint]

WORF: Honor not an effective contraceptive? Pfff!
O'BRIEN (os): Transporter room to Lieutenant Worf, Ambassador K'Ehleyr is there with a Klingon boy...

 

[Nerys Myk]

After the fifth time he ran into the door, Worf began to suspect the Doctor was pranking him.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Countdown to "They took a scan of Riker's brain and found nothing" joke in 5...4...3...

 

[Armored Saint]

RIKER: WAIT!! This ray is pink! Ooooh my!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: How drunk were you last night?

RIKER: Just remove it, okay?