TNG Caption This! #353: Time Capsule: Part 4

RIKER: Join Starfleet and see the universe, they said. Meet interesting people and influence galactic events, they said. What do I get? Rocks.





Auditions for the 24th century Matrix remake were progressing well.





CRUSHER: We will never speak of this again.
WORF: Don't worry, I'm not proud of it either.





DATA: Yeah, you're both my bitches now.





RIKER: It's true; UV light does age you.

 

RIKER: It's time to make a lot of The Empire Strikes Back references.
**Data uses the Vulcan nerve pinch on Riker**
ALLENBY: Thank you!


DATA: Commander Riker, the ship no longer appears on our sensors.
RIKER: They can't have disappeared. No ship that small has a cloaking
device.
DATA: There is no trace of them, commander.
WORF: Sir, Admiral Nechayev demands an update on the pursuit.
RIKER: Get a shuttle ready. I shall assume full responsibility for losing them, and apologize to Admiral Nechayev. Meanwhile, continue to scan the area.

 

You should have posted this within five minutes after Leadhead started the new contest

 

Data: Holding position near the assholes, sir.
Riker: You mean asteroids?
Data: Yes, those too.




Data: Tasha warned me of how seriously your planet takes its limbo contests.
Ishara: And our Fiesta deck shuffleboard is no cakewalk, let me tell you.
Data: Rape gangs?
Ishara: Ya think?




Crusher: - And don't worry, Worf. I won't tell anyone about your downsized testicle.
Worf: Redundant!
Crusher: Potato, mugato.




Worf: If we were on a Klingon world, you would commit ritual suicide before asking to be carried.
Data: Good. Now sing Soft Kitty.




Riker: And no one will notice the dye job?
Romulan: Not unless they have weird alien powers that can visually process wavelengths of 400-700 nanometers on the EM spectrum.
Riker: But we humans do that all the time!
Romulan: Oh. Have you considered a Porsche?

 

DATA: Hurry up young men, I don't wanna miss Matlock!
WORF: Sir, his eyes...he has cataracts!!!!!
RIKER: Why should he get possessed each by an old scientist each time he meets one?

 

Riker: I could have sworn there was a planet here yesterday?!?




Data thought an element of danger might make limbo dancing more interesting.


Crusher: I'm removing you from active duty until we know more.
Worf: Did you know that a Klingon born with red hair is immediately killed lest shame be brought down on the family's house?
Crusher: Yes, you have in fact mentioned it before.



Data: Commander Worf? Commander Riker? What are you doing?
Riker: Ummmmmm, this is all part of your dream program Data.
Data: I see. Then you may proceed.



Doctor: This is a nasty head lice infestation you've got here. Have you been in physical contact with any Klingons lately?

 

.

RIKER: Wow, you can find anything on ebay.

 

[LEFT]
Riker : Nice thinking, Data! I had no idea how I was going to pay that bar tab.


Data: I take it your date with Geordi did not go well?


Worf: Tell the boy if he reconfigures any of my Holo-deck exercise programs again, I will kill him!
Beverly: Now Worf, it can't be that bad! What did he do?
Worf: He re-programmed all of my opponents to look like "My Little Pony" and dis-engaged the safety protocols. He has NO HONOR!


Worf : Whatever you're doing, Commander? Data seems to be enjoying it.
Riker : I'm turning him on.
Worf : That would explain the grin.


Voice off-screen: Answer the question or we'll muss your hair!!
Riker: Go ahead and try!


[/LEFT]

 

DORN: You know mister Bowman, I can carry Brent alone, I did it in season 2. I find this way too risky for Jonathan's back.
FRAKES: Don't worr**Crack** aaaargh

 

Data: Sorry Ishara, but the way you are using fireworks is wrong.

 

Data: Mother told me not to marry a military man. A lover in every port, she said.
Worf: Your mother was a meddlesome toaster. I mean - STOP IT!

 

DORN: No way I will ever wear an old-man sweater.
FRAKES: Me neither!

 

Worf: For the record, Klingon warriors do not wear clean underwear.
Crusher: I know.

 

Worf: "Is there anyone on this ship who doesn't have their walls decorated with cheesy space posters?"
Crusher: "Says the man with the Kahless-on-velvet painting in his living room."

 

Editing yours Jonas Grumby because I thought of something amusing while reading it.

Worf: "Is there anyone on this ship who doesn't have their walls decorated with cheesy space posters?"
Crusher: "That's a window Worf!"

 

Worf: Doctor, please open the door. I'm due on the bridge.

Beverly: ...

Worf: Doctor, I demand you release me at once! I must not miss my duty shift!

Beverly: ...

Worf (sighs): Very well. I promise never to make fun of the way you say CWAY-SAWNT ever again. Are you satisfied?

 

First Officer's Log Supplemental: Troi badly misunderstood me when I asked her if she'd like to get my rocks off...





Data: You sister shot something very different into my face.

Ishara: Shut up!




Worf's Personal Log: Getting my annual prostate exam from Doctor Crusher is just too embarrassing, I'm going to have to put in for a transfer to a place where the CMO isn't going to so much as slightly arouse me when they stick their finger in my Great Hall.





Frakes: ...And this is for getting more plots than us!




Riker: You wouldn't think it, but using a holodeck always adds a surprising amount of age to my look.

 

Riker: "No. BUD light."



Nerds...In...SPAAAAAAAACE!!!!

 

"Nice choice of screensaver, sir."