Discussion in 'TV & Media' started by Coloratura, Nov 14, 2009.
And of course Patrick Stewart as Number One.
One of my favorite episodes, "Bart After Dark" has some great lines.
(Forgive my quoting, it's all from memory)
TV Announcer: "It's Eleven O'Clock. Do you know where your children are?"
Homer: "For the last time, no! Where is Bart anyway? His food is getting cold... and eaten."
Belle: "Are you wearing a grocery bag?
Homer: "I have misplaced my pants."
Skinner: "Ah, there's no justice like angry mob justice"
Lenny: "I'm going to burn all the historical memorabilia!"
Moe: "I'm going to steal me a toilet!"
Willy: "Ach, there better be two!"
"It takes two to lie. One to listen and one to tell the lie"
My all-time favourite Marge quote is from "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson":
"Mmmm.... if only I didn't already have a pair of shoes..."
Some of my favourite Mr. Burns quotes:
"If only we'd listened to that boy...instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven"
"Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun..."
"Ah, yes, Simpson. I'll have my lunch now. A single pillow of shredded wheat, some steamed toast...and a dodo egg."
"But I think the dodo went ex-"
"Get going! And answer those phones, install a computer system, and rotate my office so the window faces the hills!"
That one's full of great lines, including possibly my favourite musical number, the "Checkin' In" song: "I should put you away/Where you can't kill or maim us/But this is LA/And you're rich and faaamous!"
Season 10's Behind the Laughter has a lot of great bits along those lines: "But was the dream really over? Yes, it was. Or was it?"
^^^"Homer then found a new calling...cleaning and polishing mixing boards."
"Simpson. Homer Simpson.
He's the greatest guy in history.
From the. Town of Springfield.
He's about to hit a chestnut tree!"
"Come gather 'round children, it's high time ye learns
'Bout a hero named Homer and a devil named Burns
We'll march 'til we drop, the girls and the fellas
We'll fight 'til the death or else fold like umbrellas."
"Last Exit to Springfield" is probably my favourite episode. That song's one of the many reasons why.
We're game if you are.
When the weight of the world has got you down
And you want to end your life,
Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
And problems with the wife.
But don't throw in the tow'l,
'Cuz there's a place right down the block...
Where you can drink your misery away...
At Flaming Moe's.... (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...)
When liquor in a mug (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...)
Can warm you like a hug. (Flaming Moe's...)
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away...
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away...
Mr. Burns: "... feel my vest, feel my vest. Won't you pleeease feeel myyy vest!!!"
The Beauty & the Beast homaged music builds and ends.
Mr. Burns: "I really like my vests."
Smithers: "I gathered as much, sir."
Bart: Hiding away with Lisa nearby, "Nah nah, nah. Nah nah, nah. Nah nha--"
Lisa: "Bart, quit it!"
Bart: "Sorry, but you got to admit it's kind of catchy."
Bart and Lisa with other kids at Camp Krusty, watching a video tape of Krust the Clown, who is not there (from vague memory):
Krusty: "Hey kids! Sorry I can't be there, but I am handing off my duties to my good friend--"
Male dub over: "Mr. Black."
Smithers: "Oh, I can't take it anymore! I love you, sir!" (I think he then gave him a quick smooch)
Mr. Burns: "Hot dog. Thanks for making the last moments of my life on Earth awkward."
Willie: "...aaaaaAAAAAAGGHHHH!!! MAKE WAY FOR WILLIE!!!!!"
Bart: "I'm Bart Simpsons. Who the hell are you?"
News Reporter: "Heh, you know little boy -- back in my day we didn't talk to our elders like that."
Bart: "Well, this is my day, sir."
The Simpsons stopped being really funny when they stopped using the A plot B plot formula. Usually there was an A plot with the moral baggage, supported by a (usually waaaay funnier) B plot and they weaved in and out of each other.
Frank Grimes plot A / Bart owns a factory plot B.
Marge helps out at the church plot A / Homer finds his face on a Japanese soap package plot B.
NuSimpsons for the past 10 years or so usually does one plot in one straight line but it meanders so much if you watched the first third and the last third you would have no idea that the plots were connected. [/rant]. That's what happened to the Simps IMHO. Still watchable, but I miss the distinctive plot threads.
"An instant classic... but what you didn't see was the unfunny aftermath..."
Another one of my favourite scenes is in The Secret War of Lisa Simpson:
"Four out of five, Simpson. Impressive. But you missed your last target."
*Bart, innocently* "Did I?"
*Skinner standing next to burnt and smashed husk of car miles away*
The Trouble with Trillions, Girly Edition and Simpson Tide were what made season 9 great for me. It did have some clunkers though, not least Principal and the Pauper.
Homer "A trillion dollar bill? Wooooow. That must be worth a fortune."
And because no one else has posted it yet...
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth!
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health!
He'll welcome you into his lair
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest!
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year!
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beers!
He loves German beer!
I can't believe no one has started this yet...
Marge: "Lisa needs braces."
Lenny "Dental plan!"
Lenny: Dental Plan!
For me, Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood was the absolute peak. Pretty much everything in that episode is funny, especially this "dialogue":
Homer: Hmm...ow, pointy!
Ah-ha! Oh, twenty
dollars...I wanted a peanut!
Homer's brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for good and services.
Homer vs Dignity felt like a turning point. I really don't want to think about that episode too much. The show can still be pretty funny, but it definitely lost something over the years. I like modern Simpsons, but I don't love it.
"Don't you know the poem? Water water everywhere, so let's all have a drink!"
Guy: We tried to tell you these are unmanned oil rigs.
Krusty: Ah, close the damn thing down, no one's ever going to come.
Homer: (bursts in the door) Give me 700 Krusty Burgers!
Oh god that was inspired. Who would have thought that the best line in the X-Files episode would go to Spock?
There are many, many great lines in "You Only Move Twice" (Hank Scorpio may just be the best single-time character the Simpsons ever had), but I'll go with this line from Homer, regarding Tom Landry's Hat:
"Only management-type guys with big salaries like me can afford things like that - wait a minute, guys like me? I'm a guy like me!"
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