Spoilers The Sandman grade and discussion

[Starkers]

I've been waiting for this shoe to drop for a looooong time. The code of silence around Gaiman's behaviour towards women stretching all the waay back to the early 1990s has been shameful.

Exclusive: Neil Gaiman accused of sexual assault - Tortoise

Author denies allegations by two women who had been in consensual relationships with him.

www.tortoisemedia.com

That's interesting, I'd never even heard any rumours. There are a few people I'm waiting for something to happen with regard to inappropriate behaviour but Gaiman was never on my radar.

 

[Rich Watson]

That's interesting, I'd never even heard any rumours. There are a few people I'm waiting for something to happen with regard to inappropriate behaviour but Gaiman was never on my radar.

It wasn`t really secret that at the height of Sandman's initial success he was using that fame to his advantage but sadly back then it was considered "perks of the job" rather than being inappropriate.

 

[jaime]

I went off him about ten or fifteen years back — and had been slow to really bother with his stuff despite tons of recommendations from mutual acquaintances (He knew some people I knew at the time, and I wasn’t a fan of being compared to him. Even more so now, in retrospect. At least it was just style I was being compared on lol…) but the Mrs never liked him after we met him a couple of times at events.
Guess she was right, and my radar had its sensitivity set too low for some reason.

It’s a shame, because he’s pretty good at cheerleading for some people, but at the same time… ick. Even the stuff he has basically described is just… ick.

 

[Ridcully]

Terry Pratchett — 'Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.'

 

[theenglish]

My first thought hearing this news was, no wait--this can't be true. Amanda Palmer wouldn't put up with that. Then I looked it up and found she left him two years ago. My second thought was that the guy who wrote "Calliope" can't have done this-- Neil Gaiman has been a huge part of my life since the 80s. So many of the artists and creative people I admire have turned out to be truly despicable people that I don't find it surprising any longer.

 

[JD]

I had similar thoughts when it came out that Joss Whedon was a complete asshole. I'd always been a big fan of his, and he'd always come across as a decent guy that people loved to work with.

 

[Commander Troi]

It's heartbreaking when someone you thought was a decent person turns out not to be. I'm still processing my disappointment and grief.

 

[Kai "the spy"]

Vera Wylde did a 2 hour video on the allegations (though the majority of it is a deep dive analysis-occasionally-turning-into-rant of the source outlet):

Long story short, the journalistic work of the podcast is terrible, and the seperate matter of whether the allegations are true is ... at least partially yes, but to what degree is difficult to make out, in large part because those journalists did such a horrible job.
There's a lot of room between the worst case and the best case, but even the best case doesn't make Gaiman look particularly good. At best he's ignorant of the messed up power dynamic in a relationship of an older man of his wealth and prestige pursuing a relationship with very young women (who in some cases are fans of his work). And it's hard to believe that a man of his age and of his intelligence is that ignorant.

 

[theenglish]

It seems to be very similar to Win Butler from Arcade Fire. I don't really consider an artist's personal life unless it is a living artist who has done something "truly" immoral/illegal (like Bill Cosby or Woody Allen)--however in both the Butler and Gaiman cases, they were people I followed for years/decades and have spent a lot of time listening to interviews where they discuss their personal lives. They both spoke very highly of their wives and family lives, so this is just a huge disappointment.

 

[YLu]

A third woman has come forward.

S4 Ep2 - Claire "I Ignored It and I Believed Him Because He's the Storyteller [Neil Gaiman]"

Podcast Episode · Am I Broken: Survivor Stories · 07/28/2024 · 1h 20m

podcasts.apple.com

Apparently, he used autism as an excuse for grossly misreading the situation with her?

Given how long there have been rumors about Gaiman's behavior, I expect more people will come forward in the coming weeks.

I like the guy's work, but, man, what a piece of shit.

 

[the G-man]

There's a lot of room between the worst case and the best case, but even the best case doesn't make Gaiman look particularly good. At best he's ignorant of the messed up power dynamic in a relationship of an older man of his wealth and prestige pursuing a relationship with very young women (who in some cases are fans of his work). And it's hard to believe that a man of his age and of his intelligence is that ignorant.

I'm not a mental health professional, and this isn't a defense of his behavior, but I wonder if Neil didn't develop a bad case of Acquired situational narcissism:

Acquired situational narcissism (ASN) is a type of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) that can develop in adulthood or late teens. It's characterized by narcissistic behaviors that develop after a person becomes successful or popular, and can be triggered by fame, wealth, or other forms of external success. ASN can also be influenced by the enabling behaviors of society, fans, assistants, and tabloid media, who may reinforce the idea that the person is more important than others.​

The lack of social norms, controls, and of people telling them how life really is, also makes these people believe they're invulnerable, so that the person with ASN may suffer from unstable relationships, substance abuse and erratic behavior.​

In a lot of ways, to a certain segment of fandom, Neil was more like a rock star than a typical "comic book writer." I wonder if the extremely atypical level of fame he received when Sandman first came out coupled with the last 30+ of years of getting his butt kissed didn't warp his worldview and allow him to delude himself that his bad behavior was welcome.

 

[The Nightmare Doctor]

Behind the scenes footage of season two with glimpses of Loki, Odin, and Thor, and teases the Endless dinner scene...but carefully doesn't show us Destiny or Delirium: