Contest: ENTER STV Caption Contest #237: The One Where Janeway Snogs an Alien

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Oh, how cute - A baby Druodian Warhead!
Device: Warhead say boom! :: giggle::

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Seven: "Doctor, I may have been assimilated at a very young age, but there is no need to replicate preschool styluses for me."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Shake Weight 3000: "Your workout is completed. Here are some replicator credits. Now going into Sleep Mode. BOO BAH BUH."

DE-ACTIVATES

7 of 9: "The hell you are -- I'VE NOT YET COMPLETED!"

 

[Hawku]

"I'm not reading your mind. Are you not reading mine?"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Harry: "'The itsy bitsy spider, went up the water spout, down-'"
Tom (offscreen): "Louder! They can't hear you in the cargo bay!"
Harry (muttering) "I hate lullaby duty..."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Alt. Harry: "All right ,all right, people -- alternate universe Harry Kim reporting to duty after your Harry Kim got blown out into space. I hope I am just as appreciated by all of you as your Harry Kim was."

SILENCE.

Alt. Harry: "You know, funny thing, in my universe I never got promoted. Yup, I'm still an ensign. But I'm sure your Harry Kim was a full lieutenant by now."

MORE SILENCE

Alt. Harry: "Maybe now I'll get promoted, here in this alternate universe."

BLANK STATES

Alt. Harry: "Right?"

VACANT BLINKING.

Alt. Harry: "Right???"

Janeway: "Computer, play sounds of Earth crickets."

SOUND OF CRICKETS PLAYS

Alt. Harry: "right....." trails off in a low voice.

 

[Oddish]

Ah, the vendetta continues...

 

[WiseApple]

Borg Cube: "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile--"

Janeway: "Bitch, PLEASE!"

 

[Hawku]

"Umm. I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow. Sooo, if you could be here around 9, that would be grrrreat."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Seven: This isn't my thermos. Where is my chicken soup?

 

[Hawku]

"Live long and Rrrrriker!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Jonathan Frakes: "Look at this photo. Inside it you will find three people which will never get laid and will forever live in their parents' basements. You have to decide if I am lying or spinning a clever yarn of lies, whether this is fact … or fiction."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Janeway: "Wait a minute, is that-... It is! The elusive yellow-bellied warp sucker! Lifer!"
Tuvok (offscreen): "Perhaps now is not the best time to add birds to your life list, Captain."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Wait a minute, is that-... It is! The elusive yellow-bellied warp sucker!."

Paris: "Captain, that's an awful way to speak about our surviving salamander baby!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Harry: "Sorry, ma'am -- ensigning the best I can."

Janeway: "You really are a Spaceball, aren't you, Harry? Promotion denied."

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Janeway: congratulations Harry, here's your lt pip.

Harry: Captain, I've lost the bleeps, the sweeps, aaaand the creeps.

Janeway: That's not all you've lost... GIMME THAT!

 

[tharpdevenport]

7 of 9: Reading an instruction manual, "Thank you for your purchase of the Penisrock 3000 model. The Penisrock has come up a long way since its origins in 1966."

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

7 of 9: Reading an instruction manual, "Thank you for your purchase of the Penisrock 3000 model. The Penisrock has come up a long way since its origins in 1966."

This model is hard to beat!

 

[Oddish]

JANEWAY: "You heard me, Harry. Give me the lieutenant's pip."
HARRY (swallows the pip): "NEVER!!"
JANEWAY: "It doesn't matter, you're still an ensign."
TUVOK: "Actually, Captain, according to Starfleet Uniform Code Section 47, subsection 47, sub-subsection 4747, as long as the rank pip is in Mr. Kim's physical possession, he holds the higher rank."
HARRY: "That's right. So it's LIEUTENANT Kim!"
CHAKOTAY: "For a day or two anyway."
JANEWAY: "Doctor, report to the bridge. And bring a bottle of Ipecac!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Neelix, over com: Neelix to Bridge.

Janeway: Seven as captain of an Enterprise? That's so fanwanky you can actually hear the fapping of the person who wrote that.