Solosos III
A Cardassian now occupies my land. For over 50 years my family farmed the same land. Every fall, harvest time would draw the community together and we would split what we had so the whole community could eat. My father plowed this land and I did as well. Now, a Cardassian is farming on that land.
I still see her face in my dreams, my beautiful wife. I remember the day we said our vows in the community towncenter. I promised to protect her all my life. Now, she is gone. And a Cardassian owns the house we once owned. It’s not hard to find a new place to farm, but the people are scattered and I have no idea where they will be. This land is dry and arid and so I have had to learn how to plant different crops. When I look to the sky I do not see the same purple sky. It is gray and hot most days.
I think about her most days. I will find something funny or interesting and inevitably, I will stop what I am doing and think about what she would do. And I cry. She was so precious and full of life. She charmed everyone that met her. Anyway, she is gone now.
I wonder what his face will look like. The rage boils over and destroys the items in my house. One day, I took her favorite porcelain statue and threw it against the wall. I watched it shatter, the flecks of porcelain spiral out from it’s center, and crash to the ground. I was devastated and yet, there it was. The rage. I gathered one of the larger pieces in my palm and closed my fist until the pieces cut into my skin. I felt the damp blood start to pour from my hands. Still no relief from the rage. I cannot let it pass. That’s when I decided. This man changed my life. He took the only person important to me. My life. I will make him feel it. I wished it was his blood. In that moment, I changed.
It took some checking to see what he had done. Why in a moment, my wife had collapsed to the ground, outside where I was in the cellar, why she had gasped for air until she died.
“I see her most nights. Not as often as I used to see her, but I see her still. Laying there dead. Fire and debris around us. I know what you feel. Please, don’t take Jake, too. I couldn’t live with myself.”
“Then I have the right person. She was everything to me. We were married for 28 years. And because of you, she is not here! What did we do to you, Captain! What was so damned important that you took her life from her?”
“I did everything I could—“
“Stop it! No, you didn’t! You had a choice, and now I have mine. You’re going to feel my pain, Captain. You are going to understand why you can’t make it up to yourself. This is the last time you are going to see him alive! Say goodbye to him.”
“Jake, I’m sorry.”
Sisko:“I almost lost him. In that moment, before Jake stopped me, I could’ve killed that man. I know I had him beat, I mean, I could have killed him. He tried to take everything from me, and for a brief moment, I almost let him win. I thought nothing could eclipse the pain I felt after Jennifer died. I was wrong. He is all I have left of her. I couldn’t bear the thought that they would both be gone forever. After she died, I didn’t throw myself into my career. I tried to take care of my family, of Jake. My decisions, again this uniform, almost took my family away from me. But this is what I am and if I had it all to do again, I would. Because bringing in Eddington was right for the Federation. Does that make me a good man? I don’t know. I think it just makes m e a man. A man with a duty to do what is necessary for the Federation to stand. That’s what I am.”
