Uhura shook the Magic Spock Ball and was disturbed by the answer:
"ALL SIGNS POINT TO REBOOT"
Star Trek XI Caption Contest #9: The Romance is Gone
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Uhura shook the Magic Spock Ball and was disturbed by the answer:
"ALL SIGNS POINT TO REBOOT"
NERO: This was my wife.
I say "was" because she died when Romulus was obliterated. And because I divorced her annoying ass two weeks beforehand.
Nero: This is my wife.
Pike: She died when Romulus was destroyed?
Nero: No, we lived on another planet.
Pike: Then, you're mad that Romulus was destroyed?
Nero: No, always hated the place.
Pike: Then why did you destroy Vulcan?
Nero: Because it was blocking our view!
NERO: She was my wife.
Before she died when Romulus died.
And before I had the good sense to get a legal separation and start banging this even hotter stripper near the Firefalls of Gal'gathong.
NERO: She was my wife.
Before she died when Romulus died.
And before I had the good sense to get a legal separation and start banging this even hotter stripper near the Firefalls of Gal'gathong.
PIKE: Sorry, did you say something about Lady Gaga's thong?
NERO: She was my wife.
Before she died when Romulus died.
And before I had the good sense to get a legal separation and start banging this even hotter stripper near the Firefalls of Gal'gathong.
PIKE: Sorry, did you say something about Lady Gaga's thong?
NERO: Ayel?
Give me the Centauran slug.
NOW.
You're the most sensitive...thoughtful...intelligent...and PALEST-ASS white man I've ever known.
I think I love you.
Pike: Is this how you torture prisoners? By making them watch your home movies?
Nero: Silence human, or I'll show you pictures of our honeymoon to the crystal spider caves of Tisius IV.
NERO: This hologram is actually life size.
She had a glandular condition. But she always said my genitals were ENORMOUS...which made both of us feel better.
SPOCK: Don't cry for me, Bootytina.
Pike: In this universe, I'm a hostage due to be tortured. In the Other universe I got exposed to radiation and was confined to a wheelchair, in the alternate universe Kirk killed me to become Captain of the Enterprise. Can the next universe please be someplace nice for me?
WORST shiatsu therapy session ever.
UHURA: It'll be okay. Please. Don't worry.
I got rid of all the evidence. And I tossed the bloody hacksaw into the matter recycling tank.
"Your eyes brim with tears, Ms Uhura".
"Only 10,000 left. I don't believe it"
"Indeed"
"Only 10,000!"
"What exactly is your point, Ms Uhura?"
"Collectors' edition is my point, you moron! Talk about your trophy boyfriend; the girls back home will flip! I'll be the envy of the district! And Nero made it all possible..."
Nero: "This is ALSO a woman who is not Nyota Uhura. And this, this is yet another woman who is not Nyota Uhura. Among the leading qualities of this next woman is her not being Nyota Uhura..."
Pike: Nero, my friend, we all feel your pain over her public fan-dancing apperance at the Romulus 33' ball. We've all been on the receiving end of..."
Nero: Silence! Humanity created her, humanity will pay the price!
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NERO: Like her?
For a hundred Federation credits I'll let you spend thirty minutes with her...behind the main warp core. Nobody watching or taking images.
"This is what you'll look like once the surgery is complete."
