Star Trek XI Caption Contest #2: ... Lest Ye Be Judged

[BriGuy]

Sracist: Congratulations, Spock. You have tentatively been accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy. To make your acceptance complete, you must break open the sacrificial human Starfleet pinata suspended from the ceiling behind us.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SRACIST: Here's a credit. Call your mother and tell her you'll never be a scientist.

 

[Shatmandu]

Sracist: "We've decided to scale back the Christmas decorations this year."

Sracist: "Seriously, what's up with those chairs on Shatner's Nerve show?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SRACIST: Your concerns are unwarrented Spock. It would take a planet wide sesmic event to cause this structure to collapse.

 

[Sector 7]

Speaking of Catholic Mass:

BISHOP SPERV: Before you leave this parish, [Points over shoulder] remember what happened to the last alter boy who told.

 

[Shatmandu]

Sracist: "Welcome, newest member. We've honored your request for a hung Scotsman."
Spock: "Uh ..."

 

[scottydog]

 

[Shatmandu]

Nimoy: "Young lady, do you do any modelling? I do artsy photographs that you'd be perfect for ..."

Sracist: "He can come down when he stops eating out of my garbage cans and impregnating my kid's sehlat."
Spock: "That's Irishmen."
Sracist, gesturing to Sukup to get Scotty down: "... Mistake were made."

 

[Rat Boy]

Sracist: "We await the arrival of Kong."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sracist: "We've stopped impaling the humans. What more do you want? Jeez."

 

[Sovay]

Nimoy: "...Did you just say something?"

 

[cooleddie74]

FIRST MINISTER: It's the new pilates program we initiated for visitors from Earth.

WHAT?

Why do you look at us like that, Spock?!

 

[cooleddie74]

NIMOY: Curious.

You smell like Funyuns and sex lubricant.

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Odd. There are no bars or pubs at the Mall of America."

Sracist: "Why would you assume there were?"

Spock: "Mr. Scott hangs around such places."

 

[scottydog]

The young David Letterman played the role of Vulcan comedian L'Atenight.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: You said you wouldn't start decorating until I got here!

 

[Rat Boy]

Sracist: "Any questions?"

Spock: "Why does everyone laugh when I bring up my dickie?"

Succup: *snicker*

Spock: "No, really, I don't get it. My mother says my dickie looks very nice."

Sracist: *laughs*

Sarek: "My son, just walk away."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sracist: "Twins creep me the fuck OUT. Anyway, you're both accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy ..."

Sracist: "I didn't know your wife was a Catholic, Sarek."

 

[scottydog]

Sracist: "First there was the Octo-mom. Now we have the Spockto-mom."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sracist: "I like a good practical joke as much as the next Vulcan, but having eleven people upper-deck the faculty lounge toilet is beyond the pale."