Star Trek XI Caption Contest #12: Child's Play

[Rat Boy]

They're playing us off, because it's time for another caption contest. First up, lets run on stage and try to steal the trophies from...

For asking what every beer aficionado wanted to know, our winner is...

LONGFACE: Budweiser? What do they teach you at that Academy, anyway?

For settling things the old fashioned way, our winner is...

Kirk: The test itself is a cheat.

Spock: No it isn't.

Kirk: Yes it is!

Spock: No it isn't!

Kirk: Loser says "What."

Spock: What?

Admiral Tyler Parry: I'm sorry Commander Spock, but you lose.

For showing that wishes do occasionally come true, our winner is...

Kirk: "Man, it's a good thing I'm not a geriatric Vulcan with a torch, or this thing would be screwed."

No Photoshops this week, so let's get right to the next one. First up, young James T. Kirk has the funny feeling he's about to flunk his driving test. Second, Young Spock gets a lecture from Sarek about the sehlats and the le-matyas. And lastly, Spock hopes that the Science Academy Council doesn't hold the fact that his mother still dresses him against him. One final note: I'll be leaving this up for three weeks, so you have more time to enjoy this one. Have at it:

 

[Rat Boy]

Robocop: "Dead or alive, you're coming with me."

Kirk: "Last time I drive through Detroit!"

Spock: "You suggest...that I should be completely Vulcan, and yet you married a human."

Sarek: "As ambassador to Earth, it is my duty to observe and understand human behavior - marrying your mother was... logical. That and your human grandfather brandished an ancient firearm called a shotgun at me and told me I was, and I quote, 'Going to make an honest woman out of her for knocking her up.' That was the last time I vacationed in the Appalachians."

Spock: "You should have just stopped at 'logical,' Father."

Spock: "Mother, we live in the middle of a desert. Why am I wearing a sweater?"

 

[cooleddie74]

HARDCASTLE & McCORMICK: The Next Generation

SAREK: Logic brings a serenity humans rarely experience.

The ability to control fear...so that you do NOT put skid marks in your good underwear!

SPOCK: Seriously, Mother.

Is this REALLY the best time to wear the Woody Woodpecker clip-on tie?

 

[cooleddie74]

BOY KIRK: Great.

And I have nowhere to ditch all this weed and meth.

 

[Nerys Myk]

BOY KIRK: Its that punk Anakin. If he thinks he passing me, he'd better think again.

 

[mari]

JIMMY: Okay, don't freak out, just remember your cover story. You're a little old lady from Pasadena, here visiting family...

 

[mari]

JIMMY: Lady, you're really starting to freak me out --

GEENA: Shut up and drive faster, kid.

 

[M'Sharak]

"Knock, knock."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Aw, screw those Vulcan kids anyway! I show them this sweet ride and all they can say is, 'It is highly illogical to try to pick up chicks in an automobile with no backseat.'"

Sarek: "As long as you wear that haircut, you must remain on Vulcan. For the children of any other world would surely beat the snot out of you."

Amanda: "Why, Spock! Is this lipstick on your collar?"
Spock: "I do not know, Mother. I borrowed this shirt from Father. ...... Mother, you're fingernails are digging into my shoulder!"

 

[Skywalker]

Thanks for the W!

Sarek: "Honestly, son, I don't know what to tell you. Normal Vulcans don't have 'wet dreams.'"

 

[Woulfe]

Star Trek : IX wonder what this button does ?

Radio : BOOOOORN TO BE WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD

Kirk : Damn, the volume knob broke, I'll get a disturbing the peace ticket for sure

Sarek : Son, to be a Vulcan you must follow the teachings....

Spock : Do I have to watch The Three Stooges again ?

Amanda : You look good in a tie.....

Spock : Did you steal this ?

 

[Aragorn]

Sarek: "After all these months of chatting online, I'm overjoyed that we're finally able to get together face to face, Spock."

Spock: "Actually, there's someone named Chris Hansen who wants to meet you."

 

[M'Sharak]

Amanda: How's this -- too tight?
Spock: It's fine, but I feel like my posterior is being pierced by a red-and-blue beam of some kind.
Amanda: Oh, you mean the lens flare. That nice Mr. Abrams said not to worry about those.

Sarek: The other boy told you that we were all a**holes?
Spock: Yes. Repeatedly. He cannot seem to stop talking about a**holes.
Sarek: How odd.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SAREK: So you went all Tal Shaya on their asses?

SPOCK: Yes.

SAREK: Thats m'boy.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the Win!

Computer: Driving over the speed limit, failure to signal before making a left turn, driving while under the age of 16...

Kirk: Why did I have to steal the car with Dan Aykroyd from Dragnet installed?

Sarek: How many of them did you defeat?

Spock: 3.

Sarek: I'm very disappointed.

Spock: Because I gave into my emotions?

Sarek: No, because my money was on 5.

Spock: Mother, I can dress myself now.

Amanda: You've only been able to for a few months now I want to make sure your underwear doesn't stick out anymore.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: Mother, I can dress myself now.

Amanda: You've only been able to for a few months now I want to make sure your underwear doesn't stick out anymore.

Spock: "You're smothering me, Mother! I hope you die in a planetary implosion!"

Amanda: "And what are the odds of that happening?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: They called mother a whore.
Sarek: I can attest to that.

 

[Skywalker]

Spock: Mother, I can dress myself now.

Amanda: You've only been able to for a few months now I want to make sure your underwear doesn't stick out anymore.

Spock: "You're smothering me, Mother! I hope you die in a planetary implosion!"

Amanda: "And what are the odds of that happening?"

Spock: "Given Vulcan's relative geological stability, I believe that the odds of such an unlikely event happening within, say, the next five years, would be approximately one million, two hundred and seventeen thousand, four hundred and sixty-seven to one."
Amanda: "@#$&ing Vulcans..."

 

[Sector 7]

JIMMY KIRK: I wonder if NASCAR takes runaway car thieves?

LIL SPOCK: They said Mother dresses me funny.
SAREK: Just tell them to Live Long and Prosper, son.

SPOCK: I do not know which is worse, you dressing me funny or the lens flare in my a$$.
AMANDA: But, Spock, I steal your clothes from only the best stores.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Amanda: How's this -- too tight?
Spock: It's fine, but I feel like my posterior is being pierced by a red-and-blue beam of some kind.
Amanda: Oh, you mean the lens flare. That nice Mr. Abrams said not to worry about those.

I can actually hear her saying that!!!!!!