Contest: ENTER Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest #233: The One With Geordi In It

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

This contest will feature pictures from the 5th season episode of Star Trek Voyager: Timeless

But first, here are the winners of the last contest:

@Oddish wins the Captain's Choice Award with:

B'ELANNA: "The motion-activated phaser turrets are functioning within normal parameters. Anything attempting to gain access to this area should be vaporized."
SEVEN: "Very well. We should have ample privacy for our... picnic."

JANEWAY: "Forty-seven male crew members? Vaporized?!"
TUVOK: "Including Lieutenant Paris and Commander Chakotay. I'm sorry, captain."

CAPTAIN: "Is it true? You and the chief engineer vaporized a third of Voyager's crew?!"
SEVEN: "I don't want to talk about it."


There was some stiff competition but the Best Fart Joke goes to @tharpdevenport with:

Neelix: "Now, I know Mr. Tuvok CLAIMED I was the one who farted in the turbolift, but here on the screen is surveillance video of us in there. Now … if I apply this spectral filter, you can see the expelled flatulence…"

7 of 9: "Sweet merciful crap!"


@Finn wins Third Prize with:

Chakotay: (OS) I just got a letter from an old buddy who lives in Columbia. He says there's a fungus going around that destroying most of Earth's coffee crops.


@Laura Cynthia Chambers wins Second Prize with:

Seven: "Keep up the good work, guys, we're going viral on SpikSpok!"


And the winner is @A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees with:

shaw: so this 'Doctor' made up some BS to put you in a skin tight catsuit, and you didn't figure it out for HOW LONG?

Congratulations!


Here're th' new pictures:

Bonus Picture:

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

Spoiler: PIC spoilers...just in case

Harry: Even Admiral Shaw said no when I asked for a shuttle out of the Sol system
Doc: That dipshit!

Spoiler: PIC spoilers....just in case

Chakotay: (OS) Why are we picking up "Syracuse" written in some areas of your saucer section?

Geordi: No reason

 

[Oddish]

Yay! Thanks for the win, and congratulations to all the others. And looks like you're getting another "long story" from me... it just jumped out of the sick and twisted depths of the brain of Oddish!

B'ELANNA: "And without further ado, I declare the Annual Engineering Water Balloon Fight... begun!"

JANEWAY: "They're what?! Having a water balloon fight in Engineering? On my ship?!"

TUVOK: "Not wishing to say 'I told you so', but four years ago, I suggested that it might be questionable judgment to promote Ms. Torres to Chief Engineer based on a few 'chummy moments' on an away mission."
JANEWAY: "Tuvok, if you don't shut your Vulcan gob, I'm going to force-feed you a whole pan of Neelix's bloodworm casserole."

EMH: "Captain, we have eleven ship's personnel with assorted cuts, bruises, broken bones, and dental injuries. I guess the water balloon fight in engineering got a little out of hand."

JANEWAY: "So anyway, B'Elanna's in the brig, Carey's going to be laid up for a week, and several other engineering personnel are little better. So I'm promoting you to lieutenant and appointing you acting chief engineer. Effective immediately."
HARRY: "Yes, ma'am!"

GEORDI: "No, we didn't have water balloon fights in engineering when I was serving on Enterprise... we did have a few whipped cream pie fights, though."

 

[tharpdevenport]

LOL, I keep winning for farts jokes. Well, I guess it's now one of my things. Over in the film side, it's Ass-Rubbing Clone McCoy, and here on Voyager side, it's Tuvok likes to let 'em rip. And lie about it. Sooo … with that in mind...

Tuvok (inner monologue): "No. No, with the air circulation system operating at full capacity, no one will know the foul gas is coming from myself. Yes...

Janeway (inner monologue): "Good lord! It smells like some body ate shit and shit it back out and then ate that with chili! Fucking Tuvok!"

Doctor: "Captain says free anal probes for anybody who got passed on for promotion. Harry?"

 

[Oddish]

Doctor: "Captain says free anal probes for anybody who got passed on promotion. Harry?

HARRY: "So, the Doc tried to probe me again, but he couldn't this time, because, you know, he can only probe ensigns, and the captain finally promoted me."
TOM: "She'll probably rescind it in three days, when B'Elanna gets out."
HARRY: "She wouldn't do that to me... would she?"

Three days later...
EMH: "Bringing the lower digestive probe online... and setting it to maximum power."
HARRY: "WAAAAAUGGHHH!!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

HARRY: "So, the Doc tried to probe me again, but he couldn't this time, because, you know, he can only probe ensigns, and the captain finally promoted me."
TOM: "She'll probably rescind it in three days, when B'Elanna gets out."
HARRY: "She wouldn't do that to me... would she?"

Three days later...
EMH: "Bringing the lower digestive probe online... and setting it to maximum power."
HARRY: "WAAAAAUGGHHH!!"

Janeway (inner monologue): "Oh, God, why does the Doctor like to leave the Sick Bay medical cam on and routed through the main viewer?"

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Thanks for the win, and congrats to the other winners.

RIIIPPPPP
Janeway: oh, no
Computer, shipwide: Captain Janeway, Warning. Trouser containment system breach. Gaseous anomaly detected, deck 1.

Doctor: Ensign? Still?!
Kim: Finally, I have the chance. I've waited 25 years to send her this message....

Janeway: Your future self is rather bitter, Harry. You actually were going to get that pip tomorrow, but now that I know how you WILL feel about me... enjoy being an ensign.

 

[tharpdevenport]

The look you get when your Master activates your subspace vibrating butt plug.

That look you get when you realize Tom just activates a subspace vibrating butt plug. And you put two and tow together...

That look you get when you realize the Captain can identify an otherwise non-descript hand-held subspace vibrating butt plug device.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Hey, Norm."

Harry: "Captain, for the twelfth time this month: You're drunk on that stupid coffee again and my name is stil not Norm."

Janeway: "Not Norm? I promoted a Norm a month ago."

Harry: "Wait -- that was supposed to be me! Do I still get the promotion???"

Janeway: "No -- it expired. And you besmirched coffee."

 

[Nerys Myk]

LaForge: So, using the TOS warp scale you would have been home years ago.

Janeway: I hate you!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIM: There are going to be a lot of eternal ensign jokes, aren't there?
EMH: Yup.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Captain LaForge: "Hi, I'm subspacing from an alternate universe. I'm trying to find one without an old lumpy Mr. Potatohead Data and Admiral Janeway."

Janeway: "It's me again, asshole. End transmission."

 

[Orac]

Tuvok: Logic dictates that whoever smelt it, dealt it.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Tuvok: Logic dictates that whoever smelt it, dealt it.

Tuvok: "However, even given that I can smell it, it's highly illogical that I dealt it. As we all know -- Vulcan's do not fart."

Paris: "Is that really a thing?"

Janeway: "Fuck no."

 

[Oddish]

KIM: "Sure, when the junior crew were on duty, we were all business. But as soon as they went off and it was just us senior staff on the night shift... nothing but fart jokes."
EMH: "Even Tuvok?"
KIM: "Especially Tuvok!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kate: "You know, I played the wife of a guy who was burned badly in a fire, in an episode of 'Jessie' in the 1980's; around the end of the episode after some medical work land make-up, he looked awful, but still looked better than Chacotay."

Wang: "Ah, Michael, I thought this seen was about my character getting a promotion."

Mr. Vejar: "Yeah right."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Tuvok attempts to master the Nostril Flair of Total Rejection.

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[Orac]

Geordi: I'm detecting a control malfunction in the rear-side ionic quantum shift portal drive. You need to de-scramble the FTL landing struts.

 

[Orac]

EMH: Did you have the chicken or the fish?

 

[tharpdevenport]

The 5th annual Found & Destroyed event, where all of Neelix's liquid leeola root is found, and dealt with.