That's what I do.
From 2005 until 2017 the only Trek was Kelvin Trek. I enjoyed it, as did millions of other Trek fans. Prime Spock's story was important to the overall plot of the first movie as he had to witness the destruction of 2 planets he cared deeply about ( one off screen ) and one in the new universe. I would be pissed if that was ignored in the Picard show. It was a major plot point of the movie. It was basically Spock's end.
There is no retroactive explaining. It was laid out plainly in ST09. Romulus was destroyed in the Prime universe. Eliminating the home world of one of the major powers in the region would clearly be a major factor in the dynamics of the Federation a decade or so later. The only way it would not impact the Picard show would be if they were planning to do a Voyager retread and set Picard at the edge of the galaxy somewhere.
Technically it is still unclear whether or not this series will take place in the Prime universe. All we know is it has Prime Picard and the destruction of Romulus was a factor. Picard could have been there, saw Spock decided to follow him, and then end up later in the Kelvin Universe where he has been dealing with whatever that could mean. This would piss me off and would likely piss off most people. This would be overly obsessed with self references because the Kelvin movies would be the only backstory available outside the backstory/ies that followed Picard.
And this is where you're wrong:
Ignoring the destruction of Romulus in the prime timeline DOES NOT negate the existence of the Kelvin-timeline movies! They're still there! The DVDs still exist. Ironically, this is the exact same argument the Kelvin-timeliners tried to make about the prime universe back in the day. Talk about hypocrisy....
Let's face it: The parts of ST09 that took place in the prime universe were some of the worst things of the franchise ("A supernova threaten to destroy the galaxy?", really?). Also, they are way closer to Kelvin-Trek than prime-Trek anyway, because that's essentially what they are...
But yeah, if they treat
another homeworld destruction of a major empire (after Vulcan) as a small background event, only there to make one character (nuSpock) sad some times -
that's bad.
But focusing the entire premise of your new show on
cleaning up the mess you originall created - that's even
worse!
Do-they or don't they -- -they screwed no matter what regarding fan-backlash.
But I personally think it would be foolish to shoot the new series in the own foot, only to appease people about some minor background detail in a now discontinued-movie line. If they
really wante to go forward - and focus on, you know, the Trek
currently on television - which is prime Trek again - they should focus on doing
prime Trek right! NOT bending over backwards to avoid continuity issues with an alternate timeline reboot!