Next "Enterprise": Communistic Al Queda...

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Enterprise' started by Admiral Buzzkill, Feb 21, 2003.

  1. Admiral Buzzkill

    Admiral Buzzkill Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Terrorist Pedophiles will be bussed into your kids' schools! It's all B&B's idea!
     
  2. Corran Horn

    Corran Horn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    gah! I HATE B & B!

    Dennis, you just made me throw my TV out the window! Dang you to heck!
     
  3. Raz

    Raz Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    God, what's next? An episode about the sorry ass detainess at camp x-ray? This series really is scraping the bottom of the barrel :( :( :(

    :D
     
  4. Samuel T. Cogley

    Samuel T. Cogley Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Hold still, Jim.
    Oh my God!!! :mad: This is the end! :eek:

    I told you all that this would happen! I told you, I told you, I told you! But you never listened to me!

    THE SKY IS FALLING! :eek: THE SKY IS FALLING! :eek:

    Let's storm the Paramount gates! Burn Berman in effigy! Hold Braga's wife's breasts hostage! Smite Paramount executives from on high!

    AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! :eek: :mad:
     
  5. philgthompson

    philgthompson Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    What about if ENT gets its own Khan story line - except in a bid to raise ratings they don't find Khan they find BIN LADEN. Frozen in time from the year 2004... or something. They thaw him out and once they find out who he is Archer gets all mad and expresses... EMOTION. And then tests out the kill setting on him. That might get American ratings up.
     
  6. Admiral Buzzkill

    Admiral Buzzkill Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Gotcha! You smite the executives, I'll handle Seven!
     
  7. Samuel T. Cogley

    Samuel T. Cogley Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Hold still, Jim.
    HOW CAN YOU JOKE AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!?! :eek:

    THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!! :mad:

    I wonder if people are staying home from work today. I think I'll head over to the local church and pray that this is a rumor.

    I just looked out the window, and people are walking around like nothing has happened. Maybe they haven't heard yet? Should I tell them? I don't want to be the bearer of such horrible news. Maybe they know, but they're in denial.

    I don't know if we are going to make it through this... :(
     
  8. Borgminister

    Borgminister Admiral Moderator

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    ...talk about a new direction... :eek:

    Film at 11?
     
  9. Samuel T. Cogley

    Samuel T. Cogley Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Hold still, Jim.
    This will totally fuck up continuity because everyone knows that Harry Kim made First Contact with the Communistic Al Queda in the Delta Quadrant, in the now legendary episode "Future's Past's Present's End of Tomorrow." :rolleyes:
     
  10. Noname Given

    Noname Given Admiral Admiral

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    But that episode you reference is NON-CANON since Harry Kim got promoted to Lieutenant (and we all lnow that ANY promotion for Harry Kim is an impossibility from the canon standpoint). :eek: :D
     
  11. Borgminister

    Borgminister Admiral Moderator

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    I don't know if I can assimilate all of this...
     
  12. Admiral Buzzkill

    Admiral Buzzkill Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Jeez, don't be such an obsessive nitpicker.

    What was actually *said* in that episode was "Captain, Starfleet has no record of previous encounters with the Communistic Al Queda".

    It's possible that the records were lost. Or that Tuvok was referring only to the Federation Starfleet.

    Also, he was not specific about Communistic Al Queda Terrorist Pedophiles. Don't you think that a logical, detail-oriented and conscientious Vulcan security chief would say "Terrorist Pedophiles" if he *meant* "Terrorist Pedophiles"? That's hardly a detai.
     
  13. Samuel T. Cogley

    Samuel T. Cogley Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Hold still, Jim.
    :rolleyes: Why do I even bother? :rolleyes:

    Anyone who watched last week's episode of "Crossing Over with John Edwards" knows that Roddenberry, speaking from beyond, just declared that ONLY "Voyager" and every third episode of "Enterprise" are canon.

    Star Trek, TNG, and DS9 no longer count--except on Tuesdays, and at night.
     
  14. Borgminister

    Borgminister Admiral Moderator

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    Where's Judge Judy when you need her...

    And on Enterprise, aren't a lot of fans "speedophiles"? :D
     
  15. Samuel T. Cogley

    Samuel T. Cogley Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Hold still, Jim.
    :rolleyes:

    Obviously, you are referring to your collection of "Voyager" videotapes, which are massively edited versions of what was originally shown on screen.

    The original text, which I of course memorized, went like this:

    Tuvok: "Captain, Starfleet has no record of previous encounters with the Communistic Al Queda".

    Janeway: "What about in the 22nd century?"

    Tuvok: "Nope. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever."

    Janeway: "What about Communistic Al Queda Terrorist Pedophiles?"

    Tuvok: "Listen, bitch. I'm gonna tell you one more time and then never again. No Communists. No Al Queda. No Terrorists. No Pedophiles. And no combinations. Are you gettin' my drift? Don't make me come over there and shut you up!"

    Janeway: "What about lost records?"

    At this point, Tuvok hopped over his console and strangled Janeway.

    This scene was later edited when the transfer to videotapes was made. The producers had it removed because it contained moments of actual drama, and therefore conflicted with the series as a whole.
     
  16. Masked Cucumber

    Masked Cucumber Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    You have to post that one in the DS9 Forum just to see the screen melt :).

    Sigh, and I was hoping to make Captain by posting once in every Borg thread. This is sad.

    I remain,

    The Masked Cucumber
     
  17. Samuel T. Cogley

    Samuel T. Cogley Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Hold still, Jim.
    If you really want to get that whole vegetable theme going, I recommend changing your tagline to:

    I Romaine,

    The Masked Cucumber

    :D
     
  18. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Excellent, Bravo! Everybody! At first I was a Communistic Pessimist concerning the Borg Thing. But now that I've read this excellent post, I'll just WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. It's amazing what emotions can do, eh? :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  19. Campe

    Campe Vice Admiral Admiral

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    :lol: Ah, I love it when Bailey and Cogley get together.
     
  20. Samuel T. Cogley

    Samuel T. Cogley Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Hold still, Jim.
    Just don't tell Mrs. Cogley. She would never understand. ;)