No, it's the modern day equivalent of staking out the bookstore until Judy arrives, and then following her around at a distance and picking up the books she looks at to figure out what she's interested in.
Need advice on introducing myself to a girl through facebook.
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No, it's the modern day equivalent of staking out the bookstore until Judy arrives, and then following her around at a distance and picking up the books she looks at to figure out what she's interested in.
He's developing an obsession for this girl solely based on a picture he's seen of her.
That's how I read it. How many threads have we had just about this girl he's never met? Is this the second or the third?
One was too many, in my opinion.
This one's easy.... Just say, "oh yeah I did, when I saw you in the pic I thought we'd been introduced before but I'm actually thinking of someone else"
If she thinks there's anything creepy about that then she's the one with issues.
Yeah. This whole situation is the very definition of "ulterior motive."
Because due to inexperience or bad judgement or whatever he's put himself in an uncomfortable situation and my previous message would be an attempt to effectively erase this and start over.
If he wanted he could simply say, "you looked interesting and I felt like trying to get to know you", but unless she finds him attractive that will more than likely make her feel uncomfortable, which is a bit unneccessary since she might end up over at his place.
He might as well save that kind of talk for if there is actually an obvious attraction between them.
I don't see it as creepy, he sees a girl a girl he finds attractive and decides he wants to know her more. Is his plotting/planning that much different than the guy on the other side of a bar who sees a girl he finds cute and then goes up to her with a lame pick-up line or goes to buy her a drink?
He sees a girl he wants to know and, yeah, he starts planning a way to make it happen. For some guys it's not as easy to just go up to someone out of the blue and introduce yourself to them or whatever and yeah you do tend to try and think up ways you can make the encounter them in a naturalistic way so it seems like it happened on "accident" rather than you out of blue approach them.
He sees a girl he wants to know and, yeah, he starts planning a way to make it happen. For some guys it's not as easy to just go up to someone out of the blue and introduce yourself to them or whatever and yeah you do tend to try and think up ways you can make the encounter them in a naturalistic way so it seems like it happened on "accident" rather than you out of blue approach them.
Strangely enough I read the bolded part as "why should he have to hide behind the couch" the first time I glanced at it.
The bottom line is I want to meet this girl. I have (wrongly, I admit) built her up in my head, someone I know almost nothing about, and you guys are right, that's unhealthy, and can also seem a tad creepy.
The truth is I've never had much luck with the ladies, the three major girls in my life all initiated romantically with me, it wasn't the other way around. So despite the fact that I'm almost 30 years old and have been on several dates...I still have no idea how to approach women.
The truth is I've never had much luck with the ladies, the three major girls in my life all initiated romantically with me, it wasn't the other way around. So despite the fact that I'm almost 30 years old and have been on several dates...I still have no idea how to approach women.
Pretty much my story exactly.
It doesn't come easily for everyone and sometimes, yeah, you do build things up in your head or try to start "planning" ways to make it happen. It's not creepy because I'm not building picture shrines or anything but, yeah, one can build things up in your mind to try and approach things in a manner where it seems like you're not walking up to somewhere out of nowhere.
I do see a difference in those situations. The main differences being the length of time and amount of thought put into meeting her. Seeing someone cute at a bar and going up to meet them is not inherantly creepy. If you saw someone cute at a bar but didn't get a chance to meet her, and then you went home and thought about her for weeks and started posting on messageboards about ways you can meet her while making it look like an accident, that is creepy.
Also, in a bar it is assumed that some people are there for such meetings and it would not seem unusual.
Main differences are the amount of time wasted with thinking about the girl (quick seconds vs. borderline-creepy weeks?), and that the guy in the bar makes personal contact. We're humans. Personal interaction is VERY important. What's perfectly okay in a bar is totally creepy on the Interblag.
What's so hard about arranging a casual meeting with you, your buddy, her, and a couple of other people? Why does it have to be his apartment? And why only you 3 folks?
You guys are making it sound like I think about her every waking moment 
Yes, I have built her up in my mind a tad, but that doesn't mean I'm constantly thinking about her. In fact after I posted the first thread about her I had forgotten about it, until I ran across her facebook page through a mutual friend. But yeah, just from reading my posts I can see how someone would come to the conclusion that I'm always thinking about this girl.
Yes, I have built her up in my mind a tad, but that doesn't mean I'm constantly thinking about her. In fact after I posted the first thread about her I had forgotten about it, until I ran across her facebook page through a mutual friend. But yeah, just from reading my posts I can see how someone would come to the conclusion that I'm always thinking about this girl.
Try being an introvert with social anxiety disorder and practically no self-esteem sometime.
I tried that, it didn't work out for me.
You started working out, didn't you? So you know that a muscle won't grow and fat won't be burned without the exercise.
I am just that (though I don't think I have horrible self-esteem). Trust me, I don't go up to random people in bars, heck I am too nervous to even enter a bar. I met my boyfriend in college through our courses together and we got together after discussions about Star Trek on Facebook...there IS a way for introverts to meet others without coming off as creepy, though they may come off as nerdy.
Ok I'll be the smartass who points out that fat can be burned with absolutely no exercise.
Or as correcting an oversight, which it would be: "Oops, looks like I forgot to mention...."
For some, sure.
Life. Observation of behavior and conversation. Including TrekBBS. This Thread, for example.
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