Movies Caption Contest #251: Captions of Logic

[LeadHead]

Good evening, I'm pleased to bring you all the next caption contest. Ive already said my piece in the TNG caption contest regarding the passing of the great Leonard Nimoy, so I'll just let this say what must be said before we continue this contest.

First up to the plate, we have the "Great Driver" Award, going to:

Picard: "When exactly were you two going to tell me there was a ditch right here?"

Next, we have the "Jimmy James Inc." Award, going to:

McCoy: "I hate these Goddamn inferior universal translators."

Kirk: "Why?" puts his to an ear.

"... my monkey-strong bowels were gerded with strength, like the lions of a dragon ribboned with the fat and the oppulance of buffalo dung..."

McCoy: "what?"

"Super karate monkey death car."

Next, we have the "Odd Customs" Award, going to:

DATA: You realize, sir, that in this sector, this action means we are married.

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

JIMMY: Out of the way grandpa!

And a new special award... Also, quite predictably, there were two captions that battled it out in my brain for it, and they both are winners!

McCoy: Hello? Yeah, this is McCoy. Well now! Good to hear from you! Well, wait -- I'm on trial for my life, can I call you back?

And...

Chang: You get one call Doctor.
Bones: I think I'll contact my lawyer.
<rings>
Kirk: Denny Crane!

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

I have been so pleased to see that despite the sadness of the last week, the comedy of the caption contests has continued and brought me smiles and laughs every day.

Thank you all.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: They're inoperative below C-Deck.

Kirk: So we have to climb? Race ya!

Spock: You're on!

Saavik: *sigh*

Gillian: Sure you won't change your mind?

Spock: Very well.

Spock places hands on Kirk's face.

Spock: My mind to your mind...

McCoy: This is really the only place we could send a distress call from?

Kirk: Not at all, I just wanted us to be in an easily findable location so Sybok would find us.

McCoy: Great. Wait, WHAT?!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: If the two of you have finished getting dressed, there is a megalomaniac to stop.

 

[Ithekro]

SPOCk: Do recall that this is my ship, Admiral.

 

[hux]

Spock: How was she?
Kirk: She asked me to do the Vulcan, I don't wanna talk about it

Kirk: I told her we don't have money in the future
Spock: Was that wise captain. Logic dictates that Trekkers will debate and bitch about that forever

Kirk: They traveled faster than warp ten then turned into lizards. I don't get it
McCoy: God damn it Jim, change channels

 

[Hutchy01]

Saavik: Dat ass!

Kirk: No I don't need my windscreen washing

Two down ...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "You should exhibit more discretion! Consorting with such a known slut could be very detrimental to your reputation!"
Kirk: "Jesus, Spock! She's standing right behind you!"
Spock: "I'm talking to her!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock: "Captain, the lights behind me indicate me on the left in blue, and you on the right in gold. If the red light is any indication, perhaps we should make a hasty course correction lest a panel blows in our face."

Kirk: "It's a box. I can't wait to tell my friends about it; none of them have boxes this big."



Super Karate Monkey Death WIN for me!

 

[fonzob1]

"Captain, do you an extra piece of gum by any chance? I think Saavik is looking for a little 'Pon Farr,' if you get my drift."

"Damn it! You sunk my battleship!"

 

[Ithekro]

KIRK: Well that Palpatine fellow gets my vote.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Trek To The Egg

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "No, not again. Why does it say 'Paper Jam' when there is no paper jam? I swear to God! One of these days I..."

McCoy: "I think we found his 'Pain'."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Spock: Coming out of your quarters with a young female crewmember, both of you dressing hastily? Logically you must have overcome your feelings of old age.

Saavik: Actually, I think this may have exasperated it.

Kirk: It happens to all men at one time or another and is nothing to be ashamed of!

Hugh Heffner: Welcome to the Playboy Mansion.

Shatner: This place has gone downhill.

Kirk: Computer... why is it so dark in here?

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Captain, before you attempt to debrief Lieutenant Saavik I should warn you that a size 12 rocket boot will go up almost anywhere.
Kirk: Did i leave the space heater on?

Spock: Before we depart for the 22nd century, Captain, I have one more error to correct in this timeline at the Radisson.
Kirk: The Radisson?
Spock: Charging your credit card for a robe is not logical.

Bones: Turn up the spaceheater, I'm chilly.
Spock: On board a starship, it's actually a "space heater".
Bones: That's what I just said - a "Spaceheater."
Spock: No, you said "Spaceheater." In space it is a "Space" SPACE "Heater".
Bones: Nobody calls it a "Space Spaceheater," Spock!
Spock: I didn't say "Space Spaceheater," I said "Space" Spacebar Space - "Heater". Two words.
Bones: Uhhh, hellooo, "Space Space Bar Space Heater" is five words!
Spock: I did not say "Space Space Bar Space Heater", I said "Space Spacebar Space Heater," which you should have heard as four words, but in reality was two. "Space" - Spacebar Space - "Heater." ..."Doctor."
Kirk: But it's a spaceheater in space. Wouldn't that technically make it a "space spaceheater"?
Bones: Let's see if we can get the Grammar Nazis on this thing.
Spock: That would be "Space Grammar Nazis", Doctor.
Bones: Well see if they have a "Space Spacebar Shower" you can use.
Spock: That is not possible in this space - spacebar space - spacetime continuum, Doctor.
Kirk: Where's that Sybok. I didn't need this pain!

 

[Mojochi]

Spock: but she's Vulcan. Surely, your charm can't work with her

Kirk: I don't believe in the no win scenario...... And don't call me Shirley.

It was always a little awkward waiting for Spock to realize the "wingman" job was done

Kirk: "Open panel F, slide out tray 4, lift lever B, and remove paper jam"? WTH did you do too this thing, Spock?

Bones: Should I call Scotty?

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "They're inoperative below C Deck."

Kirk: "When did we start calling them by letters?"

Spock: "The day you wanted to start labeling them with numbers over 50."

Gillian: "Sure you won't change your mind?"

Spock: "I'm not waiting a few decades for the gluten free movement to begin."

McCoy: "Hiding a transmitter like this is very Bond villain-y. Who's idea was it?"

Spock: "Take a guess."

 

[Triskelion]

KIRK: No. SPOCK: Yes.
KIRK: No. SPOCK: Yes.
KIRK: No. I don't like directing and neither do you.
SPOCK: No.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Bad enough with her, but in my cabin?"

Kirk: "It's got better mood lighting."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: I cleaned your window. Gimma a dollar.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Jim, is this really a good time to be playing Centipede?"