COCHRANE:"Good job.
But this time...try not to fellate it, geniuses."
Movie Caption Contest #89: I Love It When A Plan Comes Together
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COCHRANE:"Good job.
But this time...try not to fellate it, geniuses."
"Sorry, Doctor.
That was me.
A wee bit of me lunchtime haggis. This ship...she isn't the only thing running on partial power."
Geordi: We can't seem to get this to work Dr. Cochrane.
Cochrane: That's because it's not connected to anything you dumbass.
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Thanks for the win!
Scotty: This fell out of meh in the head. I was wondering if yah could put it back up meh bum for me, Doctor.
Geordi: This coil has a fishy smell, Doc.
Cochrane: That's Lily's and it's not a coil.
Barclay: Huh?
Cochrane: Forchristsakes! Don't you guys masturbate in the 24th century?
Scotty: This fell out of meh in the head. I was wondering if yah could put it back up meh bum for me, Doctor.
Geordi: This coil has a fishy smell, Doc.
Cochrane: That's Lily's and it's not a coil.
Barclay: Huh?
Cochrane: Forchristsakes! Don't you guys masturbate in the 24th century?
McCoy: "I have the strangest urge to go back in time to the 20th century"
Kirk: "I'd rather blow up the ship than do that"
"Don't you guys have straight penis's in the 24th century?"
Geordi: "I ain't goin' on no Phoenix!"
Hannibal: "Zeph, you distract him, I'll get the drugs. Reg, quit playin' with that coil and get your wedding dress on"
Hannibal: "Face, my God man, you've let yourself go."
Cochrane: You're going to use crazy straws to fix the Pheonix?
Barclay: yep.
Hannibal: I love it when a cheap joke comes together.
McCoy: "And then I heard the strangest name... it called me... Roger the cabin boy"
Sulu: "Oh my"
"...and I also brought me full collection o' rare antiques, life's savings and priceless collection of ol' tv shows including the only known copy of a Dr Who story called The Highlanders. I'm so confident this ship will keep all of that safe, I bet the middle finger on my right hand"
"As safe as Jim's hairline"
Everyone laughs.
*cut to commercial break*
"Who's that daddy?"
"Why that's Zephram Cochrane son. He invented warp drive and made it possible for humans to travel to the stars"
"FUCCCCKKKK OFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!"
"He also loved his liquor and had a bladder control problem"
"Oh!"
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McCoy: "We've got the Excelsior control chips!"
Innerspock: "All right!"
McCoy: "We're on our way to Genesis!"
Innerspock: "All right!"
McCoy: "But I think they put someone in there with you!"
Innerspock: "All... what?!"
McCoy: "Nah man, I'm just fucking with you."
Barclay: "Check what we scored on eBay!"
Barclay: "We're putting together a faster than light ship, in a shed, full of tools that the bad guys have conveniently left behind. I don't know. Something isn't right, something's missing."
Barclay: "Ah, that's better."
Kirk: "Scotty, will we be able to fight this ship? There may be trouble ahead, we've lost contact with the Grissom."
Scott: "She's automated to the nines, but I cannae guarantee that it'll hold up in a battle."
Kirk: "Suggestions, people."
Hannibal: "Weld some sheet metal over the windows, stick a watermelon launcher on top, and give this guy a mohican and some gold chains."
Scott: "Nae, never again!"
Kirk: "Stop whining Scotty, sounds like a plan to me."
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SCOTTY:"...and THAT'S how you give a bloke you don't like the wee Stink Palm, Doctor."
COCHRANE:"You don't have to keep repeating what an honor it is to meet me, young man. It's obvious.
You have an erection I could launch the damn Phoenix from."
Barclay: Mr Cochrane, we have modified this old technology to keep your vest from blowing off.
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