Movie Caption Contest #87: Probing

[Rat Boy]

It's time for a new contest, but first a little explanation as to what went on last week. I've been wanting to find a way to work Star Wars back into the contest just for laughs, but couldn't figure out how. By October of last year it hit me: April Fool's Day, which certainly gave me a lot of time to plan and come up with something similar for the Trek XI contest. A few hours with the DVDs and there you go. Hopefully we can do something similar next year and thanks for playing along. Now, on to...

For the one of Obi-Wan Kenobi reading the audience's mind, our winner is...

"I could accidentally kill him now master and save the galaxy a lot of pain and suffering"
"But Darth Maul nossa on dis planet?"
"I didn't mean him"

And this winner shows what one could miss if one doesn't take a break from these caption contests once and a while (at least I hope):

Padme: So then, me and the handmaidens stripped down to nothing and began to rub lotion on each other. the...god I can't believe I'm telling you this...we got a little...you know...a little...

Anakin: huh, what? Sorry, I was thinking about the caption contest on TrekBBS.

For the picture where even though they've just conquered the galaxy, it doesn't stop the two Dark Lords of the Sith from telling bad puns, our winner is...

PALPATINE: You're in my key light.
VADER: I thought you wanted to stay on the dark side. <snicker>

And for providing the perfect explanation as to why Harrison Ford would be shouting in shock like that, our winner is...

"Hey, Harrison. Callista Flockhart has just been born!"

And for the picture of Yoda that cracks me up just by looking at it, our winner is...

Of course, day after warranty of cane expires....

And for the one of Jabba the Hutt hoping to squeeze into that bikini he loaned Princess Leia, our winner is...

Jabba the Hutt (Huttese): <<If it worked for Valeri Bertinelli, then it will work for me. NOW GET JENNY ON THE PHONE!>>

Last but not least, the Photoshop award, which injected a little Trek back into this contest...

JABBA: The last andoid to serve my tea cold, wound up as a hood ornament

I half-expect the likes of Yoda cropping up in caption contests to come. Anyway, before we move on, there is one last item to take care of. This week sees a new member inducted into the Movie Caption Contest Hall of Fame: The Laughing Vulcan, who for some reason always brings his A-game whenever Star Wars is involved. Wear your Grignak medallion with pride:

Congratulations to The Laughing Vulcan and all our winners this past week. Here are the current totals:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 41
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 37
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 29
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 24
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 21
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 20
Outpost4 16
Turd Ferguson 14
Triskelion 14
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
Diesel Micky Dolenz 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
middyseafort 10
BriGuy 9
zephramc 9
DS9Sega 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
Tharpdevenport 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
Herkimer Jitty 6
LeadHead 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
jptrekker 4
Bad Atom 4
Alrik 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Peach Wookie 3
SeerSGB 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
Mistral 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
BriGuy 1
26138 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
Civil Shadow 1
Piper 1
T'Boggan 1

This week's it's back to business as usual. Our first pick features Spock and McCoy wondering why beautiful women keep streaming out of Kirk's bathroom. Our second shows the Next Gen crew pondering what the perfect caption is for the picture of Padme and Anakin. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Oh, no need to scan her, Bones. I'll see how life-like she is."

Picard: "I knew we should have upgraded to cable internet."

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the win Rat Boy! And congrats to The Laughing Vulcan, truly deserved!

Spock: Captain, I resent coming to Sears to find my replacement.

Data: Most distressing.
Worf: I'd kill myself.
Riker: So this is what you see when you look at porn Geordi?
Picard: Look at the rack on that one.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Tricorder!"

Spock: "Captain, I believe that is a woman."

McCoy: "Eyesight starting to go, Jim?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Soundtrack: Boom chicka bow wow

 

[zephramc]

Couldn't resist...

Picard: Data, Geordi... Did you get the temporal display matrix initiated yet? We need a window into the past to trace the chronoton particles back to their source.
Data: Yes sir, it's coming online now!
Picard: Data, what the hell am I looking at?
Data: You're looking at now sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.
Picard: What happened to then?
Data: We passed then.
Picard: When?
Data: Just now. We're looking at now, now.
Picard: Go back to then.
Data: When?
Picard: Now.
Data: Now? We cant' sir.
Picard: Why?
Data: We missed it.
Picard: When?
Data: Just now.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Thanks for the win!

Bones: Had to pick the shortest skirt in the computer, didntcha, Jim?

Geordi: No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find a better plot to this movie, sir.
Picard: Keep looking, Commander. Keep looking.

Data: I have a metaphorical ridged marrow-filled...
Picard: Boner, Data. It's called a boner.
Data: I have a boner.

 

[Piper]

This is about as exciting as the TNG movies get.

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"Straighten your gold disco necklace, Jim.

A half-naked lady is present."

GEORDI:"Be patient, fellas.

The ship's gonna be on dial-up until Admiral Nechayev grows a set of cojones and enters the 24th century."

 

[cooleddie74]

ILIAPROBE:"V'Ger informed me of carbon unit cultural practices.

Which of you does me first?"

 

[BriGuy]

The easiest way to avoid having those ridiculous pointy Starfleet sideburns is to simply have no hair at all.

 

[Mistral]

Bill, De, and Leonard got more than a bit annoyed when the extra from Logan's Run wandered onto the set in the middle of shooting...

 

[Rat Boy]

Ilia: "I didn't order a pizza."

*Porno music starts*

Picard: "I hate these predictable plots."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ILIAPROBE: This unit wishes to query the location of its pants.

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

McCoy:"No, Jim, I don't think you can stick your dick in there..."

 

[RobertScorpio]

Kirk: That is Jean-Luc Picard? NO WAY!!

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kirk: "... and that thing implanted in her throat."

McCoy: "Forget it, Jim. It'd most likely electrocute you."

Kirk: "I see... a pearl necklace, perhaps?"

Spock: "Unwise."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kirk: "... and that thing implanted in her throat."

McCoy: "Forget it, Jim. It'd most likely electrocute you."

Kirk: "It wouldn't be the first time."

 

[John Picard]

McCoy: "JIM!"

Kirk: "Wha? It's a legitimate question."

Spock: "Admiral, I do not believe that 'checking to see if the beaver is also bald' is not a prudent move in establishing relations with V'Ger."

 

[Candlelight]

"Alright... shaved... haven't had that in a while"

"And then we have the white line, on which one side is blue stuff, and on the other is black stuff."
"Thank you Mr Data, your powerpoint presentations are getting better and better"