Movie Caption Contest #60: Confusion

[Rat Boy]

Shhhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone, but the last contest is over. Now, even though I was burning the candle on both ends last week, we did have quite a few goodies. On to...

For our first pic of Chekov getting jealous of Sulu getting all the attention, our winner is:

Kirk: Sulu, there's no need to keep changing lanes. We're the only starship for light years.

Chekov: And pick a warp factor for crying out loud.

And for Worf eavesdropping on Picard and Riker:

Picard: Someone needs to inform Mr. Worf there is no dishonor in brushing your teeth more than once a week.

The Photoshop award:

Kirk: "Sulu, sales are down and we must make room for the new digital sets that are arriving Thursday! I want SALES mister!"

Atavachron

And the multi-picture caption:

Kirk: I'm leaving you in charge, Sulu, while Spock, Bones and I beam down. And for God's sake don't let Uhura drive. We've never been able to get that asteroid scratch outta the port nacelle.

Picard: I don't care if you object, Number One. I'm beaming down. And for God's sake, don't let Counselor Troi drive. She nearly ran over that planetiod the last time we gave her the conn.
Number One: What's the worst that can happen, she drives the ship into a planet?

Congratulations to the winners and here's the updated list:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 31
Year of Hell (Hall of Fame) 27
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 22
Gertch 17
The Laughing Vulcan 15
Shatmandu 14
Outpost4 14
Turd Ferguson 10
Triskelion 10
scottydog 9
Nebusj 9
BriGuy 9
EliyahuQeoni 9
Diesel Micky Dolenz 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
zephramac 7
DS9Sega 6
Tharpdevenport 6
middyseafort 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
LeadHead 4
Finn 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
jptrekker 3
Bad Atom 3
Atavachron 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
Peach Wookie 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Redshirts Widow 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Herkimer Jitty 1


This week our theme is confusion, be it a Klingon becoming perplex over proper table manners or an android wondering if his date for the evening is "fully functional." Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Chang: "I just realized something. My patch is on the wrong eye."

Data: "That is not my leg."

 

[John Picard]

General Chang is reminded what happened the last time he handled cutlery.

Data: "Why, um no, I'm not the least biii....biii....bit uncomfortable around, ah... um... sexually charged females."

 

[Gertch]

Chang looked around but no one else seemed to have a problem with Captain Kirk playing with his flute at the table.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Chang: "What is this Kirk, some sort of Federation subterfuge? Our cultural exchange tapes distinctly refer to something called Burger King, no mention of miniature batleths and D'k'tahgs at all."

Data: "Damn girl, do something about those skanky dreads!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Chang: "Kahless says that if you shake it more than twice then you're playing with yourself, Kirk."

 

[Nebusj]

``You have not lived until you have seen Toscanini conduct in the original Klingon!''

``Ah. You have been mislead by a confusing human idiom: the action you propose does not require detaching from your body at the shoulders.''

 

[Rat Boy]

Data: "You went to all this trouble to put skin on me and you did not put it down there?"

 

[Brian]

(Voiceover): "We've secretly replaced the Romulan Ale with toilet water from the Officer's Head. Let's see if anyone will notice..."

Data: "No, I do not know why Starfleet did not include zippers in the new uniforms. Perhaps if you let me go, I can check the ship's FAQ list..."

 

[Maurice]

CHANG: Napkin rings?! Have you no decency, Kirk!

DATA: When I said "fuck the Borg," I meant it metaphorically.

 

[Brian]

Data: "Why yes, they are constructed of duranium. The resolution of your tactile sense is impressive."
Borg Queen: "Tactile sense? No, my dear Data. Auditory sense. Have you never noticed the clacking sound when you walk?"

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the win Rat Boy!

Chang's preference for lilies ruined the evening.

Sorry. It's just a phaser in my pocket.

 

[Brian]

Chang: "Kirk, you demon! Your floral display mocks me! I will not stand for this!"

Kirk: *snort* " 'Eye' don't know what you mean, General."

 

[Candlelight]

The night was going really well until Chang climbed on the table and ate the flowers.

"May I recommend a plastic surgeon who hasn't been to a Marilyn Manson concert?"

 

[cooleddie74]

CHANG:"NO breadsticks?!

You, Captain Kirk...have no HONOR."

DATA:"Do you really believe it necessary to assimilate the concept of premature android ejaculation into your Collective?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Steward, make a note in the official log entry of this dinner:

The Klingon party will take care of the tip."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHANG: I was under the impression we would be eating multi-colored cubes.

 

[cooleddie74]

CHANG:"Is this decaf?

I get the brown targ splatters if I drink any Earther caffeine."

 

[cooleddie74]

Most awkward ELECTRIC COMPANY word-syllable bit...ever.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Klingon: "Wait -- your helmsman, Sulu, look how fast his hand is going up and down his food. Is this human tradition?"

Data: "Did I say 'Fully functional'? 'cause at the time I did not know you had wires sticking out the back of your head. 'Fully functional'? I do not even have anything resembling a penis."