Movie Caption Contest #59: Just a Suggestion
- Thread starter Rat Boy
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Kirk: I'm leaving you in charge, Sulu, while Spock, Bones and I beam down. And for God's sake don't let Uhura drive. We've never been able to get that asteroid scratch outta the port nacelle.
Picard: I don't care if you object, Number One. I'm beaming down. And for God's sake, don't let Counselor Troi drive. She nearly ran over that planetiod the last time we gave her the conn.
Number One: What's the worst that can happen, she drives the ship into a planet?
Kirk: "Remember last Saturday night? You should probably get tested..."
Chekov: inner monologue "Damn."
Picard: "Number one, it appears Lt. Worf didn't get the memo about the new uniforms."
Riker: "And he hasn't been doing his TPS reports either, I hear."
"No, Mr. Sulu, my shirt says 'Climb a rock. Climb a ROCK.' Not a cock. I'm going to enter into my personal log on this date that I advised you to report to Dr. McCoy for an eye exam."
"No Sulu, not your right arm, you'll need that later"
"Oh my"
"Fornication"
"Jean Luc!"
"Let me finish; fornication such as this..."
Shatner: Just checking to see if you are alive, George. Yup, you're warm. Nobody here has commented on how good my new hair weave looks. I spent a small fortune on it and everyone has their back to me. Are you all trying to ignore my wonderful new hair?
Koenig: Oh, brother...
I really have to think of a good one...
Kirk" OOOOhhhh come on Sulu, don't be like that, i'm sure you will get your own ship in the next movie"
Picard "If I whispered in your ear that Commander Worf's head looks like a fanny, would you join me in a laugh?
Riker "Yeah, I could get in on that."
Worf "Oh not again!!!!!"
Chekov (muttering to himself): ...if I hear one more gay joke at the expense of Sulu, I am going to scream!
Kirk: "Don't change the station just yet, Mr. Sulu. I'm sure the Patriots will do just fine without Tom Brady."
Picard: "I'm just saying, Number One, that if you want a ship of your own, you may have to extend yourself. You may have to show your superiors how you can handle yourself when command is thrust upon you."
Riker: "I... see... sir." (throws up slightly in his mouth)
Worf (thinking): There's a reason that Klingons achieve promotion through assassination.
Kirk: "Are you okay Sulu?"
Chekov: thinking "Sulu! The button flying off his jacket due to his expanding gut hit me in the back of the head, and he asks if Sulu is alright! Take your Retinax you fat blind warthog!"
Picard: "I'm not beaming down to this planet Number One, the away mission is yours."
Riker: "That was easy, may I ask why?"
Picard: "A society based on the sketches of Benny Hill? A bald man wouldn't last two minutes down there, although I suggest you add Dr Crusher and Counselor Troi to the away team."
Worf: You know, my head may look like a fanny, but at least my head doesn't look like a giant dildo with sandpaper attached to it!
After Sulu came out of the closet, Kirk kept him at arm's length.
KIRK:"Set a course for Banana Republic...maximum warp!
I gotta get some new hiking and climbing shirts."
"Is it just me, Will...
or does Worf look more and more with each passing year like a horseshoe crab with Down's Syndrome?"
Kirk: I'm sorry, Sulu, but with Me, Uhura and Scotty beaming down for Shore Leave, the transporter can't possibly handle one more person.
Chekov (to himself): That's because you're all a bunch of fat ass coassaks.
Kirk: And I christen you Hiranu...err, Havasu...no, Honolulu...damn it, Sulu, can this wait another movie?
Like I said in the other thread, competing in these things agree with you.
Kirk: "You cut off two Klingon battlecruisers, sideswiped a Romulan bird of prey, and flipped off the captain of the Excelsior. Where the hell did you learn how to drive?"
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