Movie Caption Contest #230: This one has a title!

[LeadHead]

Happy Sunday everyone! I hope you're doing well!

First up to the plate, we have the "Great excuse to swear repeatedly" Award, going to:

Picard: Okay, that last engagement was a disaster. Crewman, I told you to fire a warning shot across the Borg's nose, not up it!

Crewman: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!

Picard: Who gave that man a phaser?

Lt. Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.

Picard: Who is he?

Worf: He's an asshole, sir.

Picard: I know that! What's his name?

Worf: That is his name sir. Asshole, Lt. Asshole!

Picard: And his cousin?

Worf: He's an asshole too sir. Ensign Philip Asshole!

Picard: How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway?

[Everyone other than Picard, Worf, and Data raise their phaser rifle]

Entire Security Detail: Yo!

Picard: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! Alright, let's try this again, and keep firing, assholes!

Next, we have the "Their Previous Assignment was at Swamp Castle" Award, going to:

Kirk: Guards, make sure no one enters this room until I come and get you.
Guard #1: Not to enter the room... even if you come and get us.
Guard #2: <hic!>
Kirk: No, no. Until I come and get you.
Guard #1: Until you come and get us, we're not to leave the room.
Kirk: No, no, no. You stay here and make sure no one enters.
Guard #1: And you'll come and get us.
Guard #2: <hic!>
Kirk: Right.
Guard #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop anyone from leaving the room.
Kirk: No, no. Entering the room.
Guard #1: Entering the room, yes.
Kirk: All right?
Guard #2: <hic!>
Guard #1: Right. Oh, if, if, if, uh, if, if, uh, if, if, if, we... oh, if... oh...
Kirk: Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here, and make sure no one enters the room. All right?
Guard #2: <hic!>
Guard #1: Oh, I remember, uh, can someone enter the room with us?
Kirk: No, no, no, no, you just keep them out of here, and make sure...
Guard #1: Oh yeah, we'll keep them out here, obviously, but if they had to enter, and we were with them...
Kirk: No, just keep them here...
Guard #1: Until you, or anyone else...
Kirk: No, not anyone else. Just me.
Guard #1: Just you.
Guard #2: <hic!>
Kirk: Get back.
Guard #1: Get back.
Kirk: All right?
Guard #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.

Next, we have the "Live and Learn" Award, going to:

Spock: My apologies. I should have instead insulted generations of McCoys.

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

CARL: It's medicinal. I got a prescription from McCoy, if you want to see it.

These next two kept me laughing for quite awhile, couldn't choose in the end, so they're both properly blended!

Kirk: "How'd he get in? We had the 'no entry' tape up! Unless... our culprit doesn't know how to read! He could be unstoppable!"

And...

Saavik: Now that's over with, wanna do it on the science station?
Spock: Congratulations, Lieutenant. You just figured out the solution to the Kobayashi Maru.

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated! Lets get started on our next contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Paparazzi in the future are just as nosy as in our time.

Worf: The Art Deco Fixtures!

Riker: Back burner, Worf!

Kirk: No, thanks. I don't wish to change my Communicator carrier. Goodbye.
Enjoy!

 

[Skywalker]

Riker: "Best...bachelor party...EVER!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Harriman (ignored in background): "Assholes."

 

[Balrog]

TFTW!

STAR TREK Reporter: Mr. Abrams! Mr. Abrams! Now that you've been selected as the director of the next Star Wars movie, what's your status with OUR franchise?

Riker: Oh, man! Captain Picard's gonna be pissed...

Kirk: Hello, Operator? Please connect me with Sarek of Vulcan... (whispers) and yes, reverse the charges...

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

TFTW!

Kirk: "Get out of my face, Sheridan!"

[Worf shines his light on a manufacturing placard.]

Made in the USA.

Worf: "Well there's your problem!"

Kirk: "The Kobayashi Maru has set sail for the promised land. And hold the mayo."

 

[R. Star]

Harriman: Curse the liberal media.

Worf: Captain Picard is going to hang you from -that- beam, when he finds out sir.
Riker: Crap...

Kirk: And what are you wearing, my dear?
Uhura: Wrong promised land, Admiral!

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Did the Captain say when he'd be back?

WORF: I think that's his shuttle right now.

RIKER: We are royally screwed.

 

[Nerys Myk]

HARRIMAN: Would it help if I said my last name is actually "Harrison"?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Well...yes, he is 'wearing that prissy ascot again.' He's also standing right beside me and he can hear you."

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the blend Leadhead!

Kirk: An interplanetary space station, Sheridan? Don't be ridiculous. There's no market for that, or Starfleet would have thought of it already.

Worf: We have lost the fuzzy dice, Commander.

I don't care if Sarah McLaughlin is singing about puppies, Spock, turn off the TV and help us!

 

[Skywalker]

Harriman: "I guess the reporters who give a shit about me won't be here until Tuesday, either."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: I need a destructive probe than can only communicate with an extinct species in Earth orbit in two days.

Don't ask why, just set it up!!!!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Reporter: Captain Kirk... What is going on with your hair?

Worf: So Commander, after this, what do you think your chances of making Captain are... Oh look, a flying pig!

Kirk: ...And when you see Chekov, whatever you do, don't laugh at his outfit.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Captain Kirk, we appreciate your taking time out of retirement to answer some of the burning questions our viewers are asking... so, let's get started. What has Captain Spock been up to?"

"First Officer's Log, Stardate 50893.5. So far, our rave has been a total disaster. The engineering display is on fire, half the bridge crew are passed out, and Mr. Worf is seeing LDS-induced dragons."

"Listen here, you bastards... NO, I do not want to upgrade to a Droid. I'm perfectly happy with my current phone and coverage."

 

[shivkala]

TFTW, Leadhead!

Reporter: Captain Kirk, what's your view on screen flare being over used? And could you please reply by squinting your eyes due to the flare generated by our headpieces?

Riker: Well, Starfleet says it's going to be a while before the get a rescue ship here. Worf, distract us by making shadow puppets on the ceiling...

Kirk: Kirk to Scotty, that emergency transport didn't work. We appear to be stuck inside a large communicator grill...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "This is why we do not ignite Klingon farts!"

 

[Triskelion]

Reporter: Is it true Uhura is having your love child with Commander Spock and aliens are conspiring with whales to increase our global warming and plotted the Kennedy assassination and Michelle Obama's bangs?

Kirk: Damned CNN.

Worf: I can see my home planet from here.

Kirk: Just because we're three sailors out on the town in San Francisco - Look, I don't care what Starfleet regs say about tight jackets with flared sleeves, lesiure suits with ascots or leather capes - we're not gay!

Sulu: Ahem....

Kirk: We're mostly, two-thirds not gay!

McCoy: Not that there's anything wrong with that....

Sulu: I'm highly offended. By that leisure suit. <diva snap>

 

[doubleohfive]

TFTW!

Kirk: "Get out of my face, Sheridan!"

 

[Triskelion]

Data: Has anyone seen Spot?
Worf: He has finally lived up to his name, Commander.