Movie Caption Contest #229:

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Carl: Saavik, you just blew my mind.

 

[Bob Karo]

Picard: We will not let this crime go unpunished. I want each and every crewman who can pull a trigger armed and on the hunt. We will find this man. We will find him and he will pay for what he did to my jacket!

 

[Maurice]

PICARD: Ready Data? Worf? Miscellaneous cannon fodder?

CARL: Best. Disco. Ever.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Data trade shirts with me. Don't think red is the appropriate color right now.

Kirk: I want the crewman who broke into my secret porn stash. I want him found and keelhauled.

Spock: The captain was right. Burbon and beans, an explosive combination.

 

[Captain Crow]

Carl: See! I tol' you dat da bridge would make a bitchin' hotbox!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Alright then...if not 'State Fair,' then what movie do you want to watch?"

 

[Balrog]

Picard: Perhaps in the future, Mr. Data, we could announce that most of the security detail isn't expected to survive the assault BEFORE we pass out the laser rifles...

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Am I the only one here who does not have to compensate for something?

Data: Perhaps, Captain. Yet according to medical records, all of us have bigger penises than you. Even Ensign Svetlana here. Isn't that right, Ensign?

Svetlana: Da - Svetlana hung like Galaxy Child.

Saavik: Now that's over with, wanna do it on the science station?
Spock: Congratulations, Lieutenant. You just figured out the solution to the Kobayashi Maru.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Nimoy: Gene, I know you're upset about the militaristic feel to the script and hate my death; but firebombing the set isn't the solution!

 

[Lance]

"Okay, gentlemen. we haven't looked inside this fridge for sixteen months. We don't know what might have evolved in there. In fact, that pickle over there is looking very suspect to me. Better set phasers to maximum, don't want to take any chances."

 

[Finn]

Kirk: You go first, Cupcake

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Last time I saw a door in this shape, a sexy, bald, robot duplicate of a dead crewwoman wearing short robe was rampaging through the ship.

Hmmmm

I'm might have to handle this by myself fellas

 

[Isis]

The good news: The Enterprise finally got a bathroom. The bad news: Out of all possible locations on the ship, the villain in this installment chose to commit his crime there, and as a crime scene, the bathroom was now off limits.

Spock found Saavik a valuable addition to the Enterprise crew because she had proven herself quite the worthy opponent in farting contests.

 

[Triskelion]

Guard #1: Are you sure you won't wear protection, Captain?

Kirk: <Looks them over> I'm fine.

Spock: Listen to Gilmore wail on that Les Paul.

 

[Isis]

Picard: "I'm the only one who's truly vested in this mission."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Commander Data, as it is clear that you possess the superior mullet, you will be in charge of the away mission."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Only myself, Mr. Data and Worf are allowed to fire or combat the Borg. All others are cannon fodder and will be strictly reprimanded if caught trying to defend him or herself."

"I feel obligated to check out who is in Spock's quarters, but the door clearly says to not enter. Wait here, I'll contact Starfleet Command."

"No, Mr. Saavik, Admiral Kirk was supposed to get off the turbolift, we yell 'Surprise,' and THEN we set off the fireworks."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: When did you schedule the fumigation to begin?

SAAVIK: 0800.

SPOCK: And what time is it, now?

SAAVIK: 08...oh.

 

[Triskelion]

Points for smuggling illegal fireworks across the Neutral Zone, Lieutenant. However you should have offered to share them with the Klingons.

 

[Skywalker]

Picard: "I'm not going to lie to you, men. Some of you will be assimilated. The rest of you will likely not survive. But know that your sacrifice will not be--"
Data: "Pardon me, Captain, but..."
Picard: "What is it, Mister Data?"
Data: "Sir, I remind you that we have traveled back in time. Prior to the twenty-fourth century, it was those Starfleet officers wearing red who traditionally did not survive long."
Picard: "...Bugger."