Movie Caption Contest #227: Important Gatherings

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, sorry about the major delay here. Life keeps me busy lately, lets get the new contest going!

First up to the plate, we have the "Dangerous Assignment" Award, going to:

Picard: "The landing party will consist of myself, Worf, and Ensign Ricky."

Ricky: "Screw this, I'm outta here."

Next, we have the "Bright Ideas" Award, going to:

Kahn: The last time I listened to one of your ideas, we flew into deep space in a 90's era rocket ship. Look how well THAT turned out.

Next, we have "The New Number One?" Award, going to:

Frakes: Wait, you've moved up to third place in the billing and you've got a uniform that fits? I hate my agent.

Spiner: Not the best time to mention my salary then?

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Bring my music collection. I have found the perfect place to display my Engelbert Humperdinck cassettes.

Play "Spanish Eyes Killing Me Softly, Joachim."

But -

Do not task me on this.

The Multi-Image Award, goes to:

PICARD: Nice shot, Ensign eyes-not-like-a-Hawk's.
HAWK: I swear, I forgot my contacts!

RIKER: Hawk what?!
DATA: The port nacelle. Shot it clean off.

Joachim: "Sir, your personal trainer is here--"
Khan: "He tasks me!"

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Also, Thanks for the patience, things have just been crazy for good ole LeadHead recently.

Now, lets go again!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

After having a lot of frustration attempting to access Xbox Live, Picard enlisted the help of an unlikely ally, The Borg.

Gunner: (thinking) Really hope this mission goes well. I retire tomorrow.

Spock: And now, we will begin our lecture series on Starfleet Command, where we ask the question: Why is a multi-species organization like this have only Humans at the top?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Seven of Eleven: "We cannot break the encryption. They've switched from Microsoft to Linux."
Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other: "We're screwed then. Might as well go back to the Delta Quadrant."

Gunner: "Damn! We could have saved money on our insurance if I'd remembered to switch to Geico."
Kruge pulls out disruptor and vaporises gunner: "Hadibah!"

Spock: "Before I begin, has anyone seen that bit in Police Academy, where Commandant Lassard gets up to the podium and...?"

...

...

Spock: "No one? Pity..."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Kruge: "What was that you muttered under your breath, Gunner?"
Gunner: "Nothing, sir!"
Kruge: "Sounded like 'asshole always looking over my shoulder.'"
Gunner: "No, sir!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

BORG: Stupid Parental Controls. We'll never get to watch porn!

SPOCK: And I plan to present conclusive evidence that James T. Kirk cheated on the Kobayashi Maru and should be discharged from Starfleet.

KIRK: Let it go, Spock!

TARG (thinking): This is the first gig I've gotten since appearing with the Muppets on SNL in the 70s. I hope they keep me.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Borg #1: "Drat! Why do we keep getting locked out of every online dating site we find?"
Borg #2: "It's your fault, dude. You've got no personality!"

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

The Borg Queen was distraught when Picard blocked her on Spacebook.

Krudge: Gunner, target their engine only. I want prisoners.
Other Klingon: Sir, you executed the main gunner, I'm just the janitor. I don't even know what an engine looks like.

Scotty: No one wants to sit next to the fat man. Evolved humanity without bias me arse!

 

[shivkala]

Borg Drone: They have installed facial recognition. Resistance in this case is productive.

Klingon Soldier: You ever wonder what this bridge would look like if a Federation design crew got a hold of it? Probably be less cramped up here, for one thing...

Spock: Now, if you will all direct your attention to the new, state-of-the-art holoprojectors in the center of the table...

Cartwright: Uh, Captain Spock, the holoprojector, well, it won't be installed until Tuesday.

Spock: In that case, may I direct your attention to the less dramatic, but still functional, Powerpoint I have created.

Chekov: *whispers to Uhura*, Vell, in that case, I hope he has cool transitions betveen the slides. You know, the Russians inwented Poverpoint transitions...

 

[Nerys Myk]

SEVEN OF ELEVEN: Well, I guess we'll have to go back.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TORG: He's about to say the "when this baby hits miles per hour you're gonna see some serious shit." line. Laugh like its the first time, if you value your life.

 

[Finn]

BORG: Damn, we can't get the nude pictures of Seven regenerating

SPOCK: Let me tell you a story about a young boy who once drove a car off a ravine in Iowa...

Kruge: The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of Kahless and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Drone 1: "Stupid work filters."

Drone 2: "Great, now our boss is gonna know we spend all of our time on the QuestBBS."

Kruge: "Power our disruptors up to 1.21 jigowatts!"

Gunner: "...the hell's a jigowatt?"

The brand-new Alpha-Bits line from IKEA.

Brought to you by the letter "O".

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW LH!!!

Spock: If that concludes the meeting let the hot tub party commence. Please observe the dynametric limit on Speedo tension force. What is it, Mister Scott?

Scott<grumbles>: Fifty pounds per square inch.

Spock: Thank you, Mister Scott.

 

[Triskelion]

Just once I would like to activate a Locutus algorithm that actually functioned.

Tell me about it. Wishing is futile.

Thus concludes the day's debate. From now on we will serve both hot and cold snacks at these meetings. Now onto Starfleet business -

Five o'clock!

Dismaying. Very well, meeting is adjourned until next month.

All I'm saying is that I smelled the targ - and that ain't the smell.

 

[T'Girl]

Kurge: "Keep your backs turn, no one can look while I'm on the potty."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks for the win!

Drone 1: Damn it, my captions never win!

Kurge: Typical, I go to all the effort of the raising my chair to the best height to stare down the tops of my female officers, and I wind up with an all male crew.

Nimoy: Does anyone have a question?

*All hands go up*

Nimoy: That's not about Star Trek?

*All but two hands go down*

Nimoy: Nor The Ballard of Bilbo Baggins...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "As you can all see, we have received the three competing designs for a new Starfleet logo from the three design firms we engaged...although it appears we may have been a bit too specific about what we were looking for in our RFP."

 

[Mr Silver]

Admiral Ackbar (off screen): "It's a tr......!?
*zzzzzapppp*
Kruge: "Filthy animal!"

Spock: What happened to the middle pool with the two Orion slave girls?

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: And now Captain Scott will throw the ceremonial first dice and this casino will officially be open.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Two of Eleven: I despise these anti-robot protocols. Does that Captcha end with a O or an 0?

Spock: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just signed legislation outlawing the Klingon Empire. The Genesis terraforming of Kronos begins in four minutes.