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Movie Caption Contest #182: Conference Calls

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Picard: God, the Stinky Gorn's gone to hell! Where's the Earl Grey!?
 
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Kirk: "What continuity error?"

Rand: "Men in Starfleet aren't supposed to wear minidresses for another eighty years."

Someone in back (os): "It's called a skant."

Entire command crew: "Shut Up Already."

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Picard: "Good God but we're old."

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Kirk: "Hello everyone, my name is Jim. And I'm a alcoholic."

Room full of drunken Trekkies: "Hello Jim!!"

:)
 
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Kirk: ''Now you will see what a real fashion walk is. Mr. Chekov... Stomach in, chests out, and follow me! As a matter of fact, try to look exactly like me.''
Scotty: ''But captain, he could never make that famous grimace of yours...''
Chekov: ''But kepten, I could never make that...''
Kirk: ''Alright, ALRIGHT!!!''
 
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Kirk liked the new uniform. The belt buckle was large enough to stash a condom.
 
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Picard: "OK, maybe lunch is a little on the late side and it won't quite be pizzeria caliber, but with '30 minutes or it's free,' at least we're not paying."
 
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Crewman, offscreen: Look at Scotty! His belly is jiggling like Santa Claus.

Scotty: This be the last time I set this damn belt-mounted phone ta vibrate.
 
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Kirk: Yes, I can't tell the difference between a turbo lift from a closet on this ship. And when I tried to get to my quarters I ended up in the shuttle bay.

But I assure you your odds of surviving this mission have doubled with me in command.

Now, could someone point me to the restroom?
 
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Picard: Number one, how many times have I told you, 60 watt bulbs only in the conference room, not 100s. Starfleet is demanding that we reduce our electricity consumption, or they'll force those silly curly CFLs down all our throats!
 
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Picard (sternly): "Need I remind all of you that accepting a commission as a Starfleet officer means accepting certain duties and obligations, including obeying the direct orders of your commanding officer! Now...Number One, I believe it's your turn to start this round!"
Riker (sighing): "Very well, Captain. Is it bigger than a breadbox?"
 
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