Movie Caption Contest #155: Pompous and Circumstance

[Trekker4747]

MORROW: Jim, I know what it looks like but please tell me you're not thinking about fucking the bulkhead back there.

 

[Rat Boy]

Morrow: "Jim, the Enterprise is twenty years old."

Kirk: "What?!"

Morrow: "And Captain Pike is the same age you are. That's Starfleet's story and I'm sticking to it."

 

[LeadHead]

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise is twenty years old. If she goes one more year, she'll be able to drink and no one wants that.

Kirk: Well, uh...

Morrow: What?

Kirk: The drinking age in orbit of Alpha Centauri is...

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Takei: This is your fault, Shatner, that I'm not being promoted in this movie.
Shatner: God, George, get a life.

Styles: Yellow alert! I damn well ordered auxiliary alert!

Riker: Brutal discipline. Bad food. No women.
Picard: Ah, 'twas a better time, Riker. 'twas a better time.

 

[Mistral]

Riker: "What's that...fishy smell,sir?"

Picard: "Oh, that's right. We brought Troi and Crusher with us, didn't we?"

 

[Mistral]

Morrow: "Jim, the Enterprise is twenty years old. In another year she'll be twenty-one."

*long pause*

Kirk: "Your point, Admiral?"

Morrow: "Oh, no real point. Just wanted to remind you I still got them math skills going for me."

Sulu: "My God, sir, he's right! Twenty plus one does equal twenty-one!"

Uhura: "But what does it all mean, Captain?"

Kirk: (rolling his eyes) "It means it's a good thing Starfleet has someone as smart as Spock-oh,crap, wait, he's dead, isn't he?"

 

[Mistral]

Styles: "Helm, take us out-full thrusters! And have someone take a washcloth to my cabin boy right away. A big one."

 

[LeadHead]

Morrow: Jim, The Enterprise is 20 years old.

Kirk: How did you know that?

Morrow: The Excalibur, Yorktown and Saratoga all posted Happy Birthday messages on her Facebook page.

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: It was Old Enemies Steal Starships Week, The M-5 Attacked me using the Potempkin, Vaal used the Lexington, the Space Hippies stole the Ticonderoga...

Morrow: How did you deal with them?

Kirk: Installed Windows Vista on the M-5, but I'm especially proud of how we dealt with the others. We fed the Space Hippies to Vaal. Talk about food poisoning...

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: A Star Wars fan broke into ILM and smashed up the model.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: "I dunno, I don't read Trek Lit."

 

[Rat Boy]

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: "Parked in a rough neighborhood. Assholes made off with my iPod and my communicator charger."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: "Canyons, ditches, quarries. I can't resist them."

 

[Trekker4747]

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: We ran into the Retcon race on the way back.

 

[TeaKirk]

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: *points at Chekov*

Chekov: *Flips middle finger russian style*

 

[LeadHead]

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: I'd seen Sulu drive so many times, I thought I could handle it...

 

[Trekker4747]

MORROW: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

KIRK: It's my understanding you can't ask me those kinds of questions, sir.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What's the matter? Starfleet Command got you pushing too many pencils?"

Sulu: "OH SNAP! A Predator reference."

Uhura: "C-C-Combo breaker!"

 

[Trekker4747]

MORROW: Does that blonde guy next to Uhura have to take a really bad dump? He looks a bit pained and tense.

 

[LeadHead]

Morrow: You've all done remarkable service in the most difficult conditions. You'll be receiving Starfleets Highest Commendation, right after we screw you all over by decommissioning the Enterprise.

 

[LeadHead]

Cadet: (Talking on subspace) So apparently, this Captain is such a pain, they can't get any real officers to be on his cre- uhhhh... Dumbas- Captain on the Bridge!

 

[Trekker4747]

Captain, what does "Standby" alert mean, anyway?