Movie Caption Contest #130: Blu-Ray Blues - First Contact

[Rat Boy]

Dry your eyes, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's comfort...

For proving that one should wait until the punchline, our dual winners are...

Spock: I'm dying-
Kirk: No!
Spock: -of embarrassment wearing this ridiculous outfit.

Spock: "Captain... you're-"
Kirk: "A good friend?"
Spock: "-kneeling on my crotch"

And for something that'd just about make anyone cry, our winner is...

Troi: "...and in this caption Shatmandu compares your bald head to a dick, and in this caption Rat Boy has you shouting there are four testicles, and in this caption...."

And our Photoshop winner recycles an old joke and an old hairpiece inspired by a caption made by one of our newcomers...

Stewart: Why! Why! If Shatner could wear a wig and get away with it, why can't I?

Sirtis: Because you'd look like an idiot.

Congrats, everybody. This week, we once again turn our focus to the Blu-Ray editions of the first ten feature films. For whatever reason, TrekCore put up screen captures from First Contact before doing TUC or Generations so I was waiting on FC to come up in the rotation to do this. Then they started posting pictures from TUC in the last couple of days. Oh well; I never claimed this contest was organized. First up, we find yet another victim of space acne. Second, Worf starts to suspect that the "little ship" crack was a reference to something other than the Defiant. Third, Dwight Schultz mistakenly thinks he's on the set of The A-Team remake. And finally, Data completely botches his homage to Bele and Lokai. have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

He was warned not to pick at it.

Picard: "Welcome aboard the Enterprise-E, Mr. Worf. Now, as you can imagine, there are a lot of changes..."

Worf: "Geordi has eyes, Crusher's a blonde, Troi speaks with a British accent, and Riker's still a dick. I think I got it."

Geordi: "One Rigellian penis pump."

Barclay: "I'm telling you, Doctor, it's not mine!"

Data: "There's more than one way to skin a captain."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Damn, Riker told not to try the shrimp in this place!

WORF: I prefer to urinate without an audience.

When engineers make porn films.

BORG QUEEN: If you dont like the color I have some more swatches in the back.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Despite the exterminator's monthly service calls, the Enterprise's silverfish problem became quite unbearable.

 

[Mysterion]

GEORDI: Geez! This crap is all so primative!

BARCLAY: Ummmm, you know he can hear you, right?

 

[Gil T.Azell]

GEORDI: "This will reaaly help the still"

BARCLAY: " Yes sir it'll mike make the shine a lot smoother"

Cochran: "Smooth shine? huury up, then"

 

[scottydog]

Queen: "Well, I'm glad you don't have a big head."

 

[BriGuy]

Cochran: Listen here, you little prick, you keep that up and I'll shove that thing your friend is holding up your ass!

Barclay: ... I was hoping you'd say that...

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: If we depolarise the plasma field in the aft EPS conduits we can increase the tychyon flow to the main emitter.

COCHRANE: What the hell are you babbling about?

 

[Rat Boy]

WORF: I prefer to urinate without an audience.

Crusher: "Me too."

*awkward silence*

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Cromwell: "If this hack A-Team 'actor' can remember his lines, maybe we can finish this goddamn scene now, huh?"
Burton: "Okay, okay. Here's your prop, Dwight. You know what to do with it, right?"
Schultz: "Oh yes. I do, indeed!"

Picard: "Oh, Christ! Rigellian Herpes! Damn you, Vash!"

Voted Cutest Couple, Starfleet Alpha Quadrant Prom, 2367.

 

[Candlelight]

Diahhrea can strike without warning. And sometimes erupt from your face.

Picard: "Welcome aboard the Enterprise-E, Mr. Worf."
Worf: "Thank you sir. Deep Space Nine?"
Picard: "Adrift but salvageable."
Worf: "Voyager?"
Picard: "Dead in the water"

Barclay: "Doctor Cochrane, I suggest you go with our plan, B A La Forge here has had enough of your jibba jabba"

Queen: "Perfection, Data... grafted perfectly from a whale's foreskin"
Data: "He will make an excellent- wait, what?"

 

[scottydog]

Worf: "... would... you please... tell your son... to stop."

Beverly, sighing: "His knees are probably hurting by now, anyway. Okay you can get up now, Wesley."

 

[LeadHead]

Morpheus: The Matrix has you Jean-Luc, Crap! Wrong Movie!

Crusher: I have a patient who insists on coming to the bridge.

Picard: I know the Health Care system's a mess but do you really have to treat people here too?

Barclay: There's some writing in small print on this. Can you read it?

La Forge: ...You will be.... the saving grace of.... the 2 worst seasons of Voyager...

And on this Weeks episode of Nip/Tuck...

Christian: Tell us what you don't like about yourself.

Data: She said if I put human skin on my face, it would help our relationship. But our sex life has never been worse.

 

[scottydog]

Geordi: "Your corkscrew pasta is just about ready."

Barclay: "I always suspected you soaked corks."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Worf: Nice wig.
Crusher: Shut up, Worf.

 

[Maurice]

PICARD (singing):
Riker's a Rigellian Twat
And Data runs on diesel,
But don't forget that Geordi blows
Pop! goes the...AAAAUGH!

DORN: Seen the script?
McFADDEN: Yeah...
DORN: Seen our parts?
McFADDEN: <sob>

GEORDI: I found your spine, Reg.

BORG QUEEN: There's two things I don't like about you, Data: your face! So how about shutting both of them!

 

[USSHermes]

BORG QUEEN: I knew I should have dated Lore instead.

 

[M'Sharak]

Fly-fishing faux pas #1701-E: The Picard Ramification

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Worf: "The great and powerful James Cameron demands that you wear your 3-d glasses at this time."

Cochrane: "Is that... John Crichton's vest?"