Movie Caption Contest #124: Year-End Closeout

[Rat Boy]

Lay off the egg nog, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's put a lump of coal in the stockings of...

For not getting the hint, our winner is...

Spock: "Apparently this is a free-for-all."
Sulu: "Oh my!"
Spock: "Just a figure of speech."

And for the easiest-to-take-out-of-context photo since, well, Sulu and the security guard, our winner is...

"That's right Sulu... let me just get my coat..."

*bow chicka bow bow*

And for proving you should always call ahead before visiting your parents, our winner is...

Beverly: "Kill the bastard! Fire at will!"

Wesley, on ground: "But mom!"

Worf: "If you were any other man, I'd let you live."

And for adding new meaning to the line "We reach," our winners are...

KIRK: "I've...got...your.......hold on a sec. That's not your gun."

And finally for suddenly making sense of everything, our winner is...

Newsman: "So why can't all this stuff be installed before Tuesday?"
Harriman: "Because tomorrow is Monday, and that's Commander Bueller's day off."

Congratulations to the winners and here's the new big list:

Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 59
Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 56
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 45
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 40
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 27
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 27
middyseafort (Hall of Fame) 23
Triskelion (Hall of Fame) 23
Outpost4 (Hall of Fame) 21
scottydog (Hall of Fame) 21
Turd Ferguson 17
Alrik 16
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
LeadHead 14
Skywalker 13
Nebusj 12
BriGuy 12
zephramc 12
DS9Sega 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
Herkimer Jitty 10
Tharpdevenport 10
Kirby 9
captain crow 9
Kegek 8
John_Picard 8
cultcross 7
TheGallifreyanSith 7
Daneel 7
Atavachron 6
jptrekker 6
Deranged Nasat 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
Bad Atom 5
Mistral 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Peach Wookie 4
Woulfe 4
Piper 4
B.J. 4
Starpaul20 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Amasov 3
SalvorHardin 3
Hartzilla2007 3
Classic Fan 3
M'Sharak 3
Civil Shadow 3
The Squire of Gothos 3
Jonas Grumby 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
seigezunt 2
trampledamage 2
protocida 2
BriGuy 2
26138 2
USS Bones 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1
Alpha_Geek 1
Zachary_Smith 1
Plum 1
3 of 11 1
jongredic 1
Super Grover 1
T'Aerwynd 1
shivkala 1
Jackson_Roykirk 1
The Badger 1
Captain Zog 1
J. Allen 1
Lashmore 1
NickRyder 1
Aragorn 1
Rat Boy 1
Tribble 1
DGCatAniSiri 1
Volpone_the_Fox 1
Yeoman Randi 1
T'Girl 1

I'll keep it short; since it's the end of the year, we're closing out 2009 with a picture from EVERY movie. Happy New Year!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk (off screen): "All right, you've made your point, Spock. Now put your pants back on!"

Khan: "My eyes are up here."

Terrell: "Sorry."

McCoy: "You got the wrong guy. You want the Corellian twit who thinks a parsec's a unit of time."

Kamarag: "And the cellphone in our gift bag gets lousy coverage in San Francisco!"

McCoy: "I think I left my testicles back there."

Scotty: "HAGGIS!"

Goldberg: "It's not 'rape' rape."

*Stewart backs away slowly*

Picard: "Hi, would you like to join the exclusive Caption Contest Character Club?"

Murray the Bartender: "Boy howdy!"

Picard (muttering): "Sucker."

Data: "I am demonstrating how fat you have gotten, Commander."

Crusher wanted to laugh, but she couldn't move her face.

Kirk: "Enough with the sass, Sulu, and get us underway."

 

[John Picard]

Kahn: "Get me the one they call Chekov."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Khan: For the last time, it's K-H-A-N. Not K-A-H-N.

Klingon Ambassador: There shall be no peace until this Vulcan puppet pulls my finger.

 

[tharpdevenport]

The common, though rarely seen phenomena of Kirk's "Awesomeness" arriving shortly before himself.

Chekov: "But wait -- how could you know my face when we never met?"

Khan: "Well, isn't it obvious? I read your enlistement profile while going threw the computer logs."

Chekov: "There are hundreds of people on board ... you read all that and remembered me?"

Khan: "Yes."

Chekov: "I vas that special?"

Khan: Sighs heavily, "... Yes..."

They stand there in silence.

Khan: "You know what? I'm gonna put a worm in your ear."

McCoy: "You want "Babylon 5", two lots down."

The date had been going swimmingly up until Jean-Luc commented her eyes were lit light the shimmering from the night's moon. At that point there was an awekward silence.

Data: "Commander, there appears to be something on your shirt..."

Was followed by loud cries and screams as Data, unaware of his own strength -- due to the emotion chip -- flipped Riker's nose so hard it tore off his face and flung across the lawn and straight dead-center Picard's head.

The situation was not furthered help when Data exclaimed, "Goal!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Yay, one final noughties naughtiness wins!

Scott os: "Aye, now that's what I call lens flare, lads!"

Khan: "Are you sitting comfortably, then we'll begin. Once upon a time..."
Chekov: "I want my teddy..."
Khan: "Ah, yes... Chekov was it? I knew you would give me trouble."

McCoy: "You telling me this cravat makes me look gay? Damn, Sulu had better have kept the receipt."

Kamarag: "Kirk! J'Accuse!"
Sarek: "Ambassador?"
Kamarag: "I always wanted to say that."

Kirk: "Dammit Spock! We could have hit the roof!"
Spock: "I did not factor the good Doctor breaking wind like an afflicted warthog into my burn estimates."

"The right tool for the right job, bitch!"

Picard: "The bath running, mood music, aromatherapy candles. Did I interrupt a little 'me time' Guinan."
Guinan: "You know my door is always open to you Jean-Luc."
Picard: "What's that buzzing sound?"
Guinan: "I don't hear anything."
muffled under cushion: "Batteries low, please replace, batteries low, please replace."
Guinan: "Does everything in this fucking century have to have a voice?"

Murray: "Hey bub, I'm the male stripper you ordered."
Lily: "Damn Picard, I didn't think that you were..."
Picard: "In the future, we still have assholes called Barclay who think it's cute to fuck with other people's holodeck programs."

Data: "Smell that."
Riker: "Smell what?"
Data: "Smell Deanna on my finger."
Riker: "What the...!"
Data: "Worf said it would be funny."
Worf: "Hilarious."

They had told Wesley that the traditional naked Betazed ceremony would be held on Earth, which cracked everyone up no end. Except Beverley, who was suddenly reminded of Jack.

Kirk: "You're probably expecting me to say something rude about Spock, then humorously realise that he's behind me, aren't you? Guess again. Set course for Earth, lens flare factor four."

 

[Nerys Myk]

DECKER: Who let the damn Jedi onboard?

KHAN: Now take off the spacesuits....slowly

MCCOY: Waiting room's that way. Ask for Carl.

MCCOY: Well one of us needs to kill that spider!

SCOTTY: Keenser!!!! Come back with me bean!!!!!!

PICARD: I was hoping you'd wear the hat.

MURRY THE BARTENDER: You British?

PICARD: French.

MURRY THE BARTENDER: Get out!

SULU: The black was more slimming.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Unbeknownst to his fellow crew and UFP delegation members, the heroics of phaser fire from Scotty were not just that, but rather his latest invention where in his powerful space diarreah is re-routed through a tube connected to his anus which in turn was modified at the molecular level into engery which was then dischaged as a energy beam. What appeared to be life-saving phaser fire, was rather a sudden and powerful bowel movement.

Kirk: "It appears your thrust boots have malfuctioned, Spock."

Spock: "Jim, I am not wearing any. But I do have powerful space disarreah."

Kirk: "then what i s keeping us u--"

Mewanwhile, Elsewhere on the Ship...

Sniff, sniff, "Is that ... powerful space diarreah?!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sulu: I can see the captain's log in those pants.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

Decker: "Holy shit, cease fire!! Those main phaser aiming calibrations are still way off!"

Girl sitting at rear station: "Geez, why don't you two get a room?"

McCoy: "Yes, your glowing penis is very impressive. Could you put it away now?"

Guinan: "Yes, I know you're a history buff, but calling you 'President Jefferson' during this is just too weird for me."

Klingon: "More goddamned fluorescents! I want my nice, warm, tungsten bulbs back!"

Bartender: "Riker? Riker sleeps with the fishes!"
Picard: "Doesn't surprise me. The man will sleep with just about anything that breathes."

Gilbert Gottfried (onstage): "...and you certainly can't say Deanna didn't pick the right man. God knows she's tried 'em all!"
Deanna (through clenched teeth): "Will, I am not finding this at all amusing..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: And then great great grandma Sarah sez,"I can see Russia from my house."

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[Isis]

Stewart: "The affrontery of you View people--here, I'm knighted by the Crown and you have me as a guest on one of Barbara Walters' days off."

 

[Captain Crow]

Data, OS: Dr. Crusher has fucked so many people on the Enterprise the crew refer to her as "The Craftmatic Adjustable Bev".

[everyone laughs except Beverly]

Data, OS: The bitch is so skanky she does not get the clap, she gets the applause!

[everyone laughs except Beverly]

Khan: Why don't you two take your helmets off?

Terrell: Since you're doing farts that blow holes in walls I think we'll leave them on.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Khan: "My, we haven't had new faces around here in a long time! And, as leader of this group, I believe the first dance is mine."

 

[Rat Boy]

Guy sitting down: "Great, I'm next to a security guard and a guest star. I'm fucked."

Khan: "One Corinthian leather joke and I'm sending your asses back outside without the helmets on."

McCoy: "I've got the death sentence on twelve systems!"

Sarek: "Bitch, please!"

Kirk: "Wait a minute, 78 decks?"

McCoy: "Dammit, Spock, we're on the alternate Enterprise!"

*Just outside...*

Sulu: "You hear that?"

Kirk: "I have trouble hearing anything over the sound of how awesome I am."

Scotty: "I want me scotch!"

Stewart: "But you can see the damn things from here on a telescope!"

Goldberg: "Fake."

Picard: "I'm looking for Nicky the Nose."

Murray the bartender: "He's out back with Barney the Testicles."

Riker: "Give me my beard back!"

Data (off screen): "And have you heard how she pronounces 'croissant?'"

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: Oh I see, you won't take 10 minutes to celebrate my birthday, but as soon as the strange energy alien shows up, you drop everything!

Khan: Now tell me, why are you here? And tell me where I will find this movie in HD?

McCoy: ... And that's how I destroyed the Doomsday Machine, got the ship out of the Tholian Web and defeated Vaal.

Kirk: Bones.

McCoy: Aw, Crap.

I Object! There were no Klingons in the White House! They were clearly Romulans!

Spock: I am sorry Captain, but the entrance to your "Mile High Club" is blocked.

Scotty: Dinnae our phasers fire red anymore?

Whoopi: OKay, I'll get rid of Hasslebeck and Shepard, now will you come on The View?!

Picard: Can I start a tab?

Bartender: Sure, you order a drink and you pay for it. That's your tab.

Brent Spiner: That's for making me walk all the way into the water and then only using the stuntman shots!

If you freeze frame, you can actually catch the exact second where this movie goes off the rails...

Kirk: I'm glad we got Spock aboard, but I was hoping for Rand.

 

[Bad Atom]

The attempt to put lens flares in TMP backfired when one bounced off Ilia's head.

"Russian whiz kid, what's your name again? Chanko, Cherpov...?"

"So your name's not really Grignak? It was just a TrekBBS nickname? Boy, do I feel stupid."

Sarek (thinks) "Pulling his finger may release the tension in more ways than one..."

Kirk still hasn't gotten over his fear of overhead hatches ever since that Tribble incident...

Reason #47 why phasers shouldn't be allowed in the galley: If the chef burns Scotty's pot roast, Scotty burns the chef.

Picard: "I'll admit, I was expecting your head to be shaped funny when you took your hat off."

Bartender: "Dix, you know we don't serve their kind here..."

Data: "Upon closer analysis, this stain contains DNA that belongs to Counselor Troi..."
Worf: "Dude, wash your uniform!"

"You paid money to see this movie? We chortle and guffaw at your idiocy!"

"Yeah, Bill snuck onto the set and tried on my uniform..."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Picard: Why Mrs. Robinson, I believe you're trying to seduce me!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Jazz Hands: a common side effect from space travel.