Movie Caption Contest #109: Face-Off

[Rat Boy]

Well, better hurry and get this new caption contest started with before Kanye West steals my microphone. First up, we set our sights on...

For proving that exploding planets and altered timelines do not trump outstanding debts, our winner is...

"James...T... Kirk.



Where's that twenty you still owe me, BITCH?!"

For Captain Picard playing the role of Scott Evil, our winner is...

PICARD: "So you'll come back with me, then?"

KIRK: "Of course I will."

PICARD: "Excellent! Now, here's what I think we should do: we go back to a few days before I entered the Nexus. We take a security team to Ten-Forward and arrest Soran before he can initiate his plan. Then, when the Klingons show up, we'll be ready for them, and --"

KIRK: "Oh, pfft! Where's the fun in all that? I say we just go back to Veridian III and stop Soran by ourselves."

PICARD: "Umm, but Captain, we won't have any weapons, and Soran will. We'd have to fight him hand-to-hand, if we have the opportunity, and stop his missle. Isn't that overly risky and foolhardy?"

KIRK: "Oh come on, don't be a pussy... We're captains of the Enterprise! What's the worst that could happen?"

And our Photoshop winner for making us wonder just what kind of beans Keenser had been eating while on Delta Vega...

Spock: Shit. I'm out of toilet paper.

Congratulations to our winners and here's the latest tally:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 50
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 49
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 43
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 30
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 26
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 23
middyseafort (Hall of Fame) 23
Outpost4 (Hall of Fame) 21
Triskelion (Hall of Fame) 21
Turd Ferguson 17
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
Skywalker 12
Alrik 12
LeadHead 12
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
DS9Sega 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
zephramc 10
Herkimer Jitty 10
BriGuy 9
Tharpdevenport 9
Kirby 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
jptrekker 6
captain crow 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
Bad Atom 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Peach Wookie 4
TheGallifreyanSith 4
Mistral 4
Woulfe 4
Piper 4
B.J. 4
Daneel 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Amasov 3
SalvorHardin 3
Hartzilla2007 3
Classic Fan 3
M'Sharak 3
Civil Shadow 3
The Squire of Gothos 3
Deranged Nasat 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
seigezunt 2
trampledamage 2
protocida 2
BriGuy 2
26138 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1
Alpha_Geek 1
Zachary_Smith 1
Plum 1
3 of 11 1
jongredic 1
Super Grover 1
T'Aerwynd 1
shivkala 1
Jackson_Roykirk 1
The Badger 1
Captain Zog 1
J. Allen 1
Lashmore 1
NickRyder 1
Aragorn 1
USS Bones 1

This week, we have a pair of pictures that are rife with Photoshopping potential. First, Kirk debates whether or not to accept Khan's friend request on Facebook. Second, Admiral Dougherty and Ru'afo apologize to Taylor Swift for letting Kanye West get on the stage (I think we're going to milk that one all week). Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Khan: "Why must you always call when I'm on the toilet? I'll get you for this, Ad-mee-ral!"

Dougherty: "Your fly is down."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Captain's Log, supplemental. It's been six hours and Khan shows no signs of backing down. I may have to defer to his superiority in staring contests."

"I must apologize for Ad'har Ru'afo, Captain, but he's been a little cranky because the Briar Patch makes us unable to requistion Folgers crystals replacements."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "No, really, how do you know Chekov?"

Dougherty: "Oh great, he's wearing the chaps again."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Khan: I fear that they'll continue our struggle for eons to come, Ad-mi-RAL.

Some 80 years later...

Picard (off-camera): Something about this whole thing seems awfully familiar.
Geordi: Kirk? Khan?
Picard (off-cam): Yeah, not ringing a bell... It'll come to me. Give it a minute.

 

[zephramc]

Kirk: Genesis, what's that?
Khan: Don't insult my intelligence Kirk!
Kirk: Give me a minute to recall the data on our computers.
Khan: I give you sixty seconds Admiral.
Kirk: Khan... seriously... I need a minute...
Khan: Sixty seconds... No more!

Geordi: I hear that asshole Dougherty is in charge. God that guy is a f-ing douche. He... he... he's on the viewer isn't he?

 

[Mistral]

Khan: "The proof of my superior intellect is obvious. My bridge has a soft, white lighting while yours is bathed in that ghastly whorehouse red!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SHATNER:"Nick?

Can...can we let Ricardo out of the terrarium now? I'm sure he's gotta go Number Two big time..."

DOUGHERTY:"Is it obvious?!

OBVIOUS, Jean-Luc?! Hell...your blind engineer could see the situation at hand with a PAPER BAG over his head!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Superior intellect?!

B.S. You're still wearing courdoroy and disco necklaces. That crap went out in the 1980s, man!"

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "Say, you realize you're in the wrong caption contest, don't you?"

 

[cooleddie74]

DOUGHERTY:"Nice Trill, Jean-Luc.

Do her spots match the stipling?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Khan: "Yes, my tits are real. Givemethoseplans!"

Admiral BadVillain: "Yes, the decision is final, Captain. Starfleet doesn't give out these giant novelty belt buckles for being indecisive, you know."

Kirk: "But Chekov wasn't on the Enterprise then. Is this a prank?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KHAN:"Don't make me destroy your bridge with Corinthian Leather torpedoes, Admiral...give me the Genesis data...or suffer the rich, luxurious consequences..."

DOUGHTERY:"Ignore Ahdar Ru'afo, Captain.

It's that time of the month for him.

Face pull."

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Khan!
Khan: You still remember Admiral. I can not help-
Kirk: Hold on a moment, Sulu, this screen is HD why is he in standard Def?
Sulu: Checking Sir.
Khan: Admiral, we have much to-
Kirk: Shut up! We have to fix the high def first.
Khan: (Sheepishly) Sorry.

Perim: The S'ona ship is hailing us.
Picard: On screen.
(Screen on)
Picard: Aw, crap two more villains that escaped from a Retirement home. Can we get any young villains?
John Logan: Young Villain, that's GOLD!

 

[cooleddie74]

RU'AFO:"Need I mention I once won a damned Oscar, Captain? Control your android...or else NO more embossed invites to my parties!!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Saavik: "nom-nom-nom-nom ..."

Khan: "Don't bogart all the pinks, bitch."

Kirk: "But ... but ... nobody doesn't like Sara Lee."

Khan: "The Red Alert light, it does not effect the candies?"
Kirk: "Genesis Effect."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Well, he's certainly no Khan.
Ru'afo: Picard!
Picard: Nor is he Mozart.
Ru'afo: Picard!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Khan: "Perhaps I am not as stupid as I am poorly dressed, ad-mi-ral."

Kirk: "I gave you the 'kill' gesture."

Uhura: "No, you gave me the 'we're dead' signal. I was agreeing with you. Like I know where the hold button is."

Dougherty: "I'm sorry Will... but Starfleet has to get rid of the chaps. It's the only way for us to survive in these dark times."

Riker: "Ms. Hot Trill Chick...." (Suspenseful music buildup) "...fire."

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[cooleddie74]

GEORDI:"Permission to make bad AMADEUS, YOUNG RIDERS and LOADED WEAPON 1 jokes, sir?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KHAN:"SIXTY SECONDS, Admiral...after which time I will be forced to pummel your ship's hull with my pectoral muscles."