Kirk: "...and then I defeated them all with a potato peeler. But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me?"
Movie Caption Contest #108: Out with the Old, In with the New
- Thread starter Rat Boy
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Kirk: "...and then I defeated them all with a potato peeler. But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me?"
Spock: "I remember when you used to win at fist fights"
Kirk: "SHUT UP"
Spock: Jim, One day, a time will come... a time with mountain climbing, campfire songs, god, old lady naked fan dances, emotional Vulcans, and maybe or maybe not some sort of rock monster... Just do me a favor and push me out of an airlock before any of that happens, ok?
Kirk: Captain of the Enterprise eh? So can you do me a favor and help me figure out a way to keep Adrian Zmed from coming around all the time?
WHOOT! Thanks for the win Rat Boy!
Spock: So you've done the treacherous ice climb, the lost on the horizon bit, met a cgi "red snapper" and fell into my cave despite having landed on this planet at random.
Kirk: Yep.
Spock: I don't suppose you found my thermos.
You've got a starship? Can you help me move?
Kirk(chuckling) : "You've obviously mistaken me for someone who cares."
You've got a starship? Can you help me move?
Picard: "Why does someone with a god complex need with a starship?"
SPOCK PRIME:"I left the year 2387 and an endless supply of replicated veggieburgers for THIS SHIT?!
Screw THIS. You're on your own, Jim. I'm outta here."
KIRK:"I was once so blinded by duty and obligation I couldn't see past my own uniform.
Or...specifically...my own expanding waistline. I was getting a HUGE gut.
But...that's not really germaine to the story.
Okay. Scratch all that. Backtrack.
Let me restart..."
"Live long...
and donate generously to the AARP."
"ZARABETH ?!
No. Wait. Sorry.
You're a young Jim Kirk. Forgive me. It's the girly good looks and eyeliner that threw me."
PICARD:"History records you died...saving the Enterprise-B from an energy ribbon...
80 years ago."
KIRK:"Did it record I was jackin' it to a hologram of Marilyn Monroe when it happened? Because THAT could seriously get my surviving relatives in hot water with the press."
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STEWART:"Kingdom of the Spiders was just plain AWFUL."
SHATNER:"Yeah? Well the only people who saw and liked Jeffrey were easily-impressed, cross-dressing queens."
STEWART:"Alright. Good point. You win."
NIMOY: "J.J. said there'd be stool softeners.
Where the hell are the stool softeners?"
Spock: "Delta Vega sure is colder and snowier than I remember...oh hey Jim, fancy seeing you here...what a coincidence."
Kirk: "Captain of the Enterprise, eh? And who's looking after her now?"
Picard: "My first officer. I'm sure it'll be fine, he's very good."
Kirk: *slight chuckle*
KIRK: "Hey, I just thought of something... this planet is called Delta Vega, right? So why is there a planet with a mining station at the edge of the galaxy with the exact same name?"
SPOCK: "Oh, well, I believe that is because --"
KIRK: "And another thing, why are there two M-class planets in the Vulcan system with radically different environments when they're so close that you could see one from the other with the naked eye? That doesn't seem scientifically valid."
SPOCK: "Umm, the thing about that is, it wasn't actually --"
KIRK: "And that giant red monster? It really doesn't look like the kind of creature that would have evolved on an ice planet. Oh, and what are the odds that you and I would just happen to be in the exact same cave at the exact same time, given how big this planet is? I mean, that just seems way too convenient, and --"
SPOCK: "The hell with this... you can get to the Starfleet base yourself."
PICARD: "So you'll come back with me, then?"
KIRK: "Of course I will."
PICARD: "Excellent! Now, here's what I think we should do: we go back to a few days before I entered the Nexus. We take a security team to Ten-Forward and arrest Soran before he can initiate his plan. Then, when the Klingons show up, we'll be ready for them, and --"
KIRK: "Oh, pfft! Where's the fun in all that? I say we just go back to Veridian III and stop Soran by ourselves."
PICARD: "Umm, but Captain, we won't have any weapons, and Soran will. We'd have to fight him hand-to-hand, if we have the opportunity, and stop his missle. Isn't that overly risky and foolhardy?"
KIRK: "Oh come on, don't be a pussy... We're captains of the Enterprise! What's the worst that could happen?"
Kirk: "That THING out there almost killed me!!"
Spock: "That's just my pet vaginasaurus. He gets like that when I don't walk him for a couple of days"
Picard: "I could really use a drink"
Kirk: "Sure, anything you like. Well, all except Earl Grey Tea. Only pussies with small weiners drink that smeg. So, what'll it be?"
Kirk: "You don't say? Trapped in a transporter buffer for 75 years on the surface of a Dyson sphere? And the bastard didn't say anything to you about how I died? That whiskey-blooded son of a bitch..."
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