Jupiter Ascending

[BigJake]

Also, it's spelled Lotus Eaters, not Lotos Eaters...

Correct either way, actually. Though likelier to be the latter if referencing the Tennyson poem.

His point about its sympathies lying with the villains isn't all that well developed, but I can sort of see where it comes from, being tied to the overall point about it being a ridiculously opulent and decadent movie that wants to criticize those things.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

[yt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1GadTfGFvU[/yt]

So big. So vapid. Epically empty! In a 90s EXTREEEME way. And yet it was so earnest I can't say I hated it. This is a movie that gives us Sean Bean as a character named Stinger who lives(?) in a bee-infested house with a straight face. Channing Tatum is part-dog for some reason (related to Barf?). Watch spaceships go in and out of warp, things crash and blow up, sitcom comedy families, a royal wedding, The Silence from Doctor Who's little brothers, and more.

 

[Shaka Zulu]

I want to see a sequel just to see what Jupiter will do to protect Earth more (loved the bureaucracy scenes in the movie, BTW.) As far as I'm concerned, she should be blowing off Earth and the lousy job and accepting her birthright, in as much the say way that Peter Quill has accepted what he is and doesn't want to go back to Earth to be a nobody.

 

[Yanks]

So big. So vapid. Epically empty! In a 90s EXTREEEME way. And yet it was so earnest I can't say I hated it. This is a movie that gives us Sean Bean as a character named Stinger who lives(?) in a bee-infested house with a straight face. Channing Tatum is part-dog for some reason (related to Barf?). Watch spaceships go in and out of warp, things crash and blow up, sitcom comedy families, a royal wedding, The Silence from Doctor Who's little brothers, and more.

Accurate. Parts of the story are severely lacking but as you said, it was enjoyable nonetheless.

I want to see a sequel just to see what Jupiter will do to protect Earth more (loved the bureaucracy scenes in the movie, BTW.) As far as I'm concerned, she should be blowing off Earth and the lousy job and accepting her birthright, in as much the say way that Peter Quill has accepted what he is and doesn't want to go back to Earth to be a nobody.

Agree. I thought it should have ended with her assuming her place and fighting the good fight. But hey, maybe that's what sequels are for.

 

[DWF]

I want to see a sequel just to see what Jupiter will do to protect Earth more (loved the bureaucracy scenes in the movie, BTW.) As far as I'm concerned, she should be blowing off Earth and the lousy job and accepting her birthright, in as much the say way that Peter Quill has accepted what he is and doesn't want to go back to Earth to be a nobody.

She was born on earth it was only a strange genetic quirk that gave her the same genetic structure as the Queen. And really given her viewpoint of the royal siblings I think she'd rather stay as far from as possible.

 

[The Wormhole]

I want to see a sequel just to see what Jupiter will do to protect Earth more (loved the bureaucracy scenes in the movie, BTW.) As far as I'm concerned, she should be blowing off Earth and the lousy job and accepting her birthright, in as much the say way that Peter Quill has accepted what he is and doesn't want to go back to Earth to be a nobody.

She was born on earth it was only a strange genetic quirk that gave her the same genetic structure as the Queen. And really given her viewpoint of the royal siblings I think she'd rather stay as far from as possible.

Still, just how likely is it that someone who learns they're the Space Queen are going to reject a life of luxury and voluntarily wake up at 5:00 am to spend the day scrubbing toilets?

Even if she wants to stay on Earth away from the other royal siblings and their sycophants, couldn't she arrange for herself and her family to live a better, more luxurious life?

 

[DWF]

I want to see a sequel just to see what Jupiter will do to protect Earth more (loved the bureaucracy scenes in the movie, BTW.) As far as I'm concerned, she should be blowing off Earth and the lousy job and accepting her birthright, in as much the say way that Peter Quill has accepted what he is and doesn't want to go back to Earth to be a nobody.

She was born on earth it was only a strange genetic quirk that gave her the same genetic structure as the Queen. And really given her viewpoint of the royal siblings I think she'd rather stay as far from as possible.

Still, just how likely is it that someone who learns they're the Space Queen are going to reject a life of luxury and voluntarily wake up at 5:00 am to spend the day scrubbing toilets?

Even if she wants to stay on Earth away from the other royal siblings and their sycophants, couldn't she arrange for herself and her family to live a better, more luxurious life?

With what? She's got no real money out of her adventure. In reality she was little more than a pawn and she really has no interest in their version of power of money.

 

[Snaploud]

She supposedly had a trust arranged in her name, and I doubt the Earth was the only thing in that trust. The Aegis could have helped her get something that could be traded on Earth without causing a ruckus (perhaps some minor ore--worth little to a space-faring race but worth a few million dollars on Earth).

I can understand if she purposely chose not to avail herself of the trust resources (out of unease over how that wealth was accumulated), but she probably could have found something to give her family an edge on Earth even without the trust resources.

 

[Starkers]

Horrible movie. That plot is in broad strokes a Matrix retread, just with Mila Kunis in the Keanu Reeves role and Channing Tatum in the Carrie-Anne Moss role. You got someone who lives a crappy life unwittingly sucked into the "real world" and learning they are the chosen one. It turns out life in the regular world is run by evil douches, who can manipulate the world around them, to the point they can tear a city apart and instantly put things good as new.

I was also annoyed there were no 2-D options where I live. I decided to go for it anyway since at the very least the Wachowskis are technical experts so maybe they can do something impressive with the 3-D. But no, most of the time, you can't even tell it is 3-D. The only proof was when I took the glasses off and the picture got all blurry. And since this movie had dark lighting, the 3-D glasses created a serious sunglasses effect.

Yeah I thought that about the 3D, essentially pointless, just made the edges of the screen blurry.

And yes, a bad film all round, the only redemption coming from the fact the visuals were impressive, how unintentionally hilarious it was, and the fact that it wasn't dull... "Damn it nothing's happened for five minutes, blow something up, change Mila's outfit or move us to another planet!"

Bound remains the best thing The Wachowskis have ever made IMO.

 

[The Wormhole]

She was born on earth it was only a strange genetic quirk that gave her the same genetic structure as the Queen. And really given her viewpoint of the royal siblings I think she'd rather stay as far from as possible.

Still, just how likely is it that someone who learns they're the Space Queen are going to reject a life of luxury and voluntarily wake up at 5:00 am to spend the day scrubbing toilets?

Even if she wants to stay on Earth away from the other royal siblings and their sycophants, couldn't she arrange for herself and her family to live a better, more luxurious life?

With what? She's got no real money out of her adventure. In reality she was little more than a pawn and she really has no interest in their version of power of money.

So you're telling me that people who can cause serious damage to a city and then re-build it in a matter of ours can't arrange luxurious accommodations for their queen and presumably her family? They should easily be able to build a palace for them and then manipulate everyone else's memory to make them think it was always there.

Or hell, even if she's content to live in the tiny house she shares with a dozen people, at least arrange it so that she doesn't have to work anymore.

 

[DWF]

Still, just how likely is it that someone who learns they're the Space Queen are going to reject a life of luxury and voluntarily wake up at 5:00 am to spend the day scrubbing toilets?

Even if she wants to stay on Earth away from the other royal siblings and their sycophants, couldn't she arrange for herself and her family to live a better, more luxurious life?

With what? She's got no real money out of her adventure. In reality she was little more than a pawn and she really has no interest in their version of power of money.

So you're telling me that people who can cause serious damage to a city and then re-build it in a matter of ours can't arrange luxurious accommodations for their queen and presumably her family? They should easily be able to build a palace for them and then manipulate everyone else's memory to make them think it was always there.

Or hell, even if she's content to live in the tiny house she shares with a dozen people, at least arrange it so that she doesn't have to work anymore.

She spent the entire movie only wanting to go home to her family. So far she's been used as a pawn and had several attempts on her life, all of a sudden her boring life didn't seem quite so bad. And I'm sure that if there's sequels we might see her dealing with her new found status, but for any normal person I can see it being something a shock to learn all that shee learned in the movie. Also I thought it was pretty touching scene of the family chipping together and getting her the telescope.

She's more like Dorothy than Neo, all Dorothy wanted was to go home. Nobody seems to ask why she'd choose Kansas over Oz.

 

[Starkers]

Yes she wanted to return to her normal life, so long as it now includes hunky dog boy boyfriend and jet boots...presumably anyone who sees her and Caine flying around (probably half the city) will have their memories wiped every other day from now on then?

I can understand she didn’t want to radically change all their lives, but surely some kind of moderate lottery win that’d mean they at least didn’t all have to spend 12 hours a day scrubbing toilets would have been acceptable?

 

[DWF]

I'm sure if there were sequels her lfie might continue to change, but her life was turned upside down so at this point I can't blame her for wanting to return to her old life. Had they gone the Star Wars route it'd be easier just to kill off her family. But it really looked as though she was really turned off by the siblings and their lifestyle.

 

[JanewayRulz!]

I saw it this week.

I "liked" it but have encouraged others to catch it on video.

It had great music & color, lots of chases, a hunky costar and some humor. I did like the fact that at the end she "tore up the lottery ticket" and went home. Scrubbing toilets while living in an over crowded house with a family that loves you isn't so bad compared to that other family she met who spent their days and nights trying to screw each other and the entire population of Earth over.

 

[Shaka Zulu]

She supposedly had a trust arranged in her name, and I doubt the Earth was the only thing in that trust. The Aegis could have helped her get something that could be traded on Earth without causing a ruckus (perhaps some minor ore--worth little to a space-faring race but worth a few million dollars on Earth).

I can understand if she purposely chose not to avail herself of the trust resources (out of unease over how that wealth was accumulated), but she probably could have found something to give her family an edge on Earth even without the trust resources.

Also, she's the queen of Earth, and it's now her responsibility to protect it from anybody else who wants to frack with it and wreck it; as queen, she needs to be in space (or someplace on Earth) making sure that this doesn't happen, not still cleaning toilets and having to put up with he overbearing uncle and his schemes (which sounds [to me] like they're linked to the Russian mob anyway.) As I said, it would be as if Peter Quill (who is himself royalty from the planet Spartax) were just to go back to Earth and be a janitor.

 

[DWF]

She supposedly had a trust arranged in her name, and I doubt the Earth was the only thing in that trust. The Aegis could have helped her get something that could be traded on Earth without causing a ruckus (perhaps some minor ore--worth little to a space-faring race but worth a few million dollars on Earth).

I can understand if she purposely chose not to avail herself of the trust resources (out of unease over how that wealth was accumulated), but she probably could have found something to give her family an edge on Earth even without the trust resources.

Also, she's the queen of Earth, and it's now her responsibility to protect it from anybody else who wants to frack with it and wreck it; as queen, she needs to be in space (or someplace on Earth) making sure that this doesn't happen, not still cleaning toilets and having to put up with he overbearing uncle and his schemes (which sounds [to me] like they're linked to the Russian mob anyway.) As I said, it would be as if Peter Quill (who is himself royalty from the planet Spartax) were just to go back to Earth and be a janitor.

She's not the queen of the Earth she owns the planet and though some sense of fair play the siblings won't touch her claim to it. Truthfully she has no idea what it means to own the planet and she said as much at the end of the movie.

 

[Snaploud]

I agree she's shirking her responsibilities right now. At minimum, she needs to work out a way to keep the Earth safe past her death. At this point, her siblings can just wait for her death and make a deal (using legitimate or illegitimate means) with whichever relative they decide is her heir.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Hey, these toilets aren't going to clean themselves, people!

 

[The Wormhole]

Hey, these toilets aren't going to clean themselves, people!

Can't the aliens that rebuild damaged buildings in a day scrub toilets?

 

[Gov Kodos]

Hey, these toilets aren't going to clean themselves, people!

Can't the aliens that rebuild damaged buildings in a day scrub toilets?

Depends on their union, I suppose.