Yeah, I have to chime in because I've never really been bugged by Kirk's death either. Could one argue that it was unnecessary to really go there in real-world terms? Sure. But in-universe, the man died for a principle, not for any one specific person or people. I can think of worse reasons to die.
Would I have preferred they just left well enough alone and left his death to my imagination? Sure. But I can live with what they did. I think the measure of how effective what they did in that area could be gauged by the fact that it's still being talked about 15 years later.
Similarly, I'd have preferred Janeway not been killed in the books, but realistically, let's face it: the character will almost certainly never appear in a live-action production again anyway. The books have to do what they feel is appropriate and dramatically interesting for their universe. If you dislike their choice, I'd simply ignore it.
I thought that it was unnecessary to dig up Kirk just to kill him off in a TNG movie. Why can't they let TNG rest in peace? It was a good series with some good movies too and it had great actors. Let us remember it this way and for those who still want to live in a TOS world, I guess there are loads of books where Kirk is still alive, well and active in the TOS timeline.
As for the others, we're aware of the fact that none of the characters from TNG, DS9 and VOY will appear in any movie but it don't give certain writers the right just to waste them to get some silly "effect". By doing that, they ruin what could have been exciting, entertaining and fun for many readers.
I see no point in reading a TNG book where Data isn't alive.
I see no point in reading a Voyager book where Janeway is killed off, Kes is destroyed and absent and Neelix is missing as well.