I'm not in love, just because

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Gryffindorian, Aug 18, 2019.

  1. Gryffindorian

    Gryffindorian Vice Admiral Admiral

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    It's been ages since I was in a relationship (my first girlfriend at the time), and it was mostly "puppy love" back then, so it wasn't a great loss when it ended.

    Good point. I'm only seeing things from my perspective. Though I am curious as to how couples deal with boredom in general. I guess if they really love each other, it won't matter so much as long as they still have commitment (companionate love).
     
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  2. Gryffindorian

    Gryffindorian Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I gifted him an Amazon gift card with a note saying how much I appreciate all his help this year. I think I'm going to miss seeing him over the holiday break.

    We're nowhere near friends, but I'm trying to establish good will.
     
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  3. Gryffindorian

    Gryffindorian Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    I'd like to think of the new year as synonymous with new beginnings, new horizons, and new possibilities. My romantic interest in my colleague has reached an impasse. :(

    You may recall, as I've stated a few times, that I don't expect this crush to blossom into anything. But I was kind of hoping that he and I could be friends, and I don't even see that happening now or anytime soon. When he interacts with colleagues in his immediate group, he tends to be more cheerful and open. He socializes and talks more with them than others outside of his group.

    I've made efforts to chat with him casually, and yes, we've shared interests. But those conversations only get so far. When we pass each other in the hallway, he hardly smiles or makes eye contact, while most of my coworkers exchange greetings and nods. I've known people who are painfully shy and others who are plain antisocial. Sometimes I wonder if he's on the spectrum, or maybe he's got schizoid personality disorder. No wonder I find myself pining for him less and less as time goes by.

    I admit I have been a fool all this time for allowing myself to feel like a lovesick adolescent when I should have been focusing my attention on more important things. It must've been love, but ...



    Edit:

    In retrospect, I did allow myself to cultivate my attraction for him. As a person with anxiety, I know how futile it is to resist intrusive thoughts, so why not do the opposite and embrace the intrusive feelings? No, I don't really regret feeling this way.

    This morning we were both in the copy room, and he struck up a conversation with me about Disney +. :DWe've both been watching The Mandalorian and have also talked about other interests like Netflix (mine) and football (his). :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2020
  4. Gryffindorian

    Gryffindorian Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I hope you don't mistake my lack of interaction with you over the past several days for hostility, especially after my lady friends and I enjoyed having lunch with you late last month.

    There has just been a lot on my mind lately, and I'm still trying to sort things out. The truth is, I'm also somewhat nervous about talking to you, worrying about what I'm going to say or how the conversation will end up dry. This has become a tedious routine: my asking you how your weekend was and how you didn't do much, and my usual response would be catching up on my favorite shows. Really, I wish there more for us to talk about.
     
  5. Gary Mitchell

    Gary Mitchell Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    ^ Was this supposed to be a private message for someone?
     
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  6. Gryffindorian

    Gryffindorian Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Nah, more like an open memo, if there was even a remote possibility that he was a TrekBBS poster and he would read this. :D
     
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