I'm dating an older woman!
- Thread starter MadBaggins
- Start date
- Status
I'm showing up rather late to the game in this thread. I've always seen it, saw how many pages and just kept moving. Leg injury today kept me home so I caught up and can I say squiggy that you were the reason I kept going 
Here I was expecting that a lot of the board was with an older SO, my wife is 5 years older than me, but I in my wildest imaginings, never imagined the thread to have gone down the paths it claims to have. I mean I have not even a fraction of a percent of the drama in my life on any level.
All I can say is 'wow' with a healthy dose all sorts of other internet memes that usually have LOLcatz illustrations
Here I was expecting that a lot of the board was with an older SO, my wife is 5 years older than me, but I in my wildest imaginings, never imagined the thread to have gone down the paths it claims to have. I mean I have not even a fraction of a percent of the drama in my life on any level.
All I can say is 'wow' with a healthy dose all sorts of other internet memes that usually have LOLcatz illustrations
I can say with all honesty that I did not see the drunken post coming. In hindsight I really should've, though.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S HARDER TO READ THAN AN ALL CAPS NO PUNCTUATION NO LINE BREAK DRUNKL RAMBLE THAT YOU HAVE TO COPY INTO NOTEPAD AND EDIT TO MAKE READABLE AN ALL CAPS NO PUNCTUATION NO LINE BREAK DRUNKL RAMBLE THAT YOU HAVE TO COPY INTO NOTEPAD AND EDIT TO MAKE READABLE WITH NO CONTEXT
Of course, he could've been meaner. You could have given us...
ANALLCAPSNOPUNCTUATIONNOLINEBREAKDRUNKLRAMBLETHATYOUHAVETOCOPYINTONOTEPADANDEDITTOMAKEREADABLEWITHNOCONTEXTANDNOSPACES
Of course, he could've been meaner. You could have given us...
ANALLCAPSNOPUNCTUATIONNOLINEBREAKDRUNKLRAMBLETHATYOUHAVETOCOPYINTONOTEPADANDEDITTOMAKEREADABLEWITHNOCONTEXTANDNOSPACES
Considering how this is all one long runon sentence from hell...I'm going to do the best I can. If I fail, it's to be expected...however, if I win...the glory will be epic. Let's begin, shall we?
Yes...because "living with my girlfriend whom I don't love while my cousin who I thought I loved but I didn't because I fucked her and tried to extort her mother for cash to go to countries that no one over the age of 7 thinks exists" is really figuring it all out. I guess I should find my cousin (who is hot with kids...bonus!) and work it. Thank you wise sage. Thank you.
I wouldn't say that attempted murder, assault, lying to the police, loosing a kid on Halloween, not loving the woman you love more than love, watching your entire family get fucking wasted, and failing to understand the basic medical advice of “IT’S BROKE. DON’T WALK ON IT!” are setbacks. But you are much wiser than me, I yield.
Premature ejaculation. Serious business.
I thought you…wait.
Yeah. That’s what I thought. Why would you think it’s a test sent by something you don’t believe in. It’s like thinking my Dr. Pepper was sent to me by Martians or a Napoleonic-era Frenchman.
You’re speaking of “life” in the past tense (I think). Are you dead? Are you writing to us from beyond the grave?!!?!?!? SPOLIER ALERT (Madbaggins is a ghost next season)
This sounds like the lyrics to the theme song of a sitcom modeled after The Facts of Life.
Ew.
Even though you don’t believe in Him. I have my questions too but that doesn’t stop me from blaming shit on Him! Take that God (if you do exist)!
You don’t believe in him either…just putting that out there.
God…Satan…jerks. All in the same league of fucking your shit up. It’s a conspiracy.
I LOVE how you’re actually typing the drunken stutters out. Good writing!
If it’s random, then it’s not unfair. Random is actually the most “fair” anything can be. If some thing was consistently “unfair” then that would be a pattern and negate (big word) the randomness.
Pishaw!
Now we’ve wandered into a Prince song.
Learning…curve…what?
So…you’ve gathered from your cousin-fucking, aunt-extorting-but-ultimately – unsuccessful, settling-for-the-mother-of-two-because-she’s-all-that’s-left ways that life is harsh? Ya think?
Stop making mistakes? You felt up your cousin while she was sleeping (sexual assault, incest) just last week. When did you stop?
It is tough not touching a tit just because it’s in your general vicinity. I applaud you for your hard work.
Uh oh! Someone learned a new word! Anywho…I doubt the two of you ever really loved each other. I mean, you bad a sex and she still loves her ex and you’re a cousin-fucker. You’ve loved no less than 4,156 women over the span of a year. I think you’re confusing “erection” with “love”.
Then I stand corrected! If that’s not love I don’t know what is!
More love than love than love itself? But since there was “no love” (read as: zero), then even liking each other like 6th graders would be more love. I’ll give you this one.
Chuck and Lisa?
NOT CHUCK AND LISA!!! What did you do to them?
Ah. I see where you’ve messed up. They’re “not” your own. Simple mistake.
Here you go again. I’m willing to wager that Chuck and Lisa are the children’s actual names because you have a tendency to plainly state what you have no intention of stating. Also, Chuck is a ridiculous name for anyone under the age of 45.
Then she is interfering. You almost had us!
Took you long enough. I bet she’s still staying at your girlfriend’s house all the time.
This is just odd. Does she need to loose weight?
DON'T GIVE HER AMMO
This however is a wise move. Never give crazy girls ammunition.
The hell you say!
Yes. You went wrong (I guess that’s what you meant) by sexually assaulting your cousin. You’ve just had what’s called a “moment”.
No. That’s a piledriver. You’re known for your stunner, which puts a person on their ass.
This is you putting forth an effort? Nothing you’re written has been anything but one epic failure after another and THIS is nothing more than insane, drunken rambling. If this is an effort I’d hate to see you not giving a damn.
*hiccup*
That’s the spirit!
You’re a cousin-fucking extorter and you’re calling life selfish?
Yeah. Fuck. Shit. The. Bullshit.
Facts of Life to Prince to…generic goth “woah is me” crap.
I have yet to see where anything was going your way. See above when I mentioned nothing but “epic failure”
Spanner? That must be Latverian.
This might be the sanest thought you had today.
Oh…and you go downhill so fast.
NEEDLESS EXPOSITION MAKES ME ANGRY!
I want to apologize deeply and sincerely for my last post in this thread. It was inappropriate and the language was foul. I should not have posted when drunk, and certainly not as drunk as I was then. I was so drunk I fell again but luckily didn't reinjure my leg...just my pride. I'm so sorry. If my drunk post broke any of the terms and conditions of this website which I agreed to when I signed up here then I will accept whatever punishment TheSpaceman wants to hand out. I hope no children read it.
Anyway, I won't bore you with all the details of the last week, but things have gone shitzo again. My girlfriend and I were making a new start (for real this time,not that none of you will ever believe me) and it was all good and then he came back. My girlfriend's ex. Chuck and Lisa's so called father. Hasn't seen them or her for months and he just shows up.
And get this: he tells my girlfriend he wants to get back with her and be a proper father to his children. He says this RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AS THOUGH I'M NOTHING. And my girlfriend right away told him to "FUCK OFF, SHITBRAINS" (or something like that) but I could tell in her eyes, in her heart, that she was considering it. She was fucking considering it.
I felt so sick I thought I was going to vomit but I didn't.
It was just that EVERYTHING seemed right, I thought I had it figured out and AGAIN something beyond my control comes and ruins it all. Even my cousin could tell how upset I was about it and gave me a hug. And no, nothing sexual happened. But she did say "see, I told you. They're all like this, no matter how they appear" and I knew she was right.
She's always right.
I got so drunk I couldn't see then I posted this then fell over. Then my girlfriend came home and yelled at me and kicked my bad leg. I don't blame her, I shouldn't have gotten so drunk. But what now? He's still hanging around. He's staying with a friend nearby. What should I do? I'm thinking of going to see him and telling him MAN TO MAN that I want to be the man for my girlfriend, that I want to be the proper father that Chuck and Lisa need and telling him to GET THE F OUT. Should I?
Anyway, I won't bore you with all the details of the last week, but things have gone shitzo again. My girlfriend and I were making a new start (for real this time,not that none of you will ever believe me) and it was all good and then he came back. My girlfriend's ex. Chuck and Lisa's so called father. Hasn't seen them or her for months and he just shows up.
And get this: he tells my girlfriend he wants to get back with her and be a proper father to his children. He says this RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AS THOUGH I'M NOTHING. And my girlfriend right away told him to "FUCK OFF, SHITBRAINS" (or something like that) but I could tell in her eyes, in her heart, that she was considering it. She was fucking considering it.
I felt so sick I thought I was going to vomit but I didn't.
It was just that EVERYTHING seemed right, I thought I had it figured out and AGAIN something beyond my control comes and ruins it all. Even my cousin could tell how upset I was about it and gave me a hug. And no, nothing sexual happened. But she did say "see, I told you. They're all like this, no matter how they appear" and I knew she was right.
She's always right.
I got so drunk I couldn't see then I posted this then fell over. Then my girlfriend came home and yelled at me and kicked my bad leg. I don't blame her, I shouldn't have gotten so drunk. But what now? He's still hanging around. He's staying with a friend nearby. What should I do? I'm thinking of going to see him and telling him MAN TO MAN that I want to be the man for my girlfriend, that I want to be the proper father that Chuck and Lisa need and telling him to GET THE F OUT. Should I?
I thought he was Torgo.
Word-of-the-Day toilet paper.
We accept.
Wait, you're you own girlfriend?
That didn't last long.
Sigh. Language!
And she was considering fucking his shit brains?
Survey says... !
YES - 100
Damn, I didn't know this was an interactive TV show.
MadBaggins, if you're smart you'll just stay out of it, and move on.
(Jezz, I can't believe I'm participating as I STILL think it's all fiction).
So, I'll take it you haven't decided yet to join the seX-Men?
Now allow hilarity to ensue.
Since us saying "It's a trap!" will lead to you going and doing it, I feel morally obligated to scream at the top of my lungs, "DON'T DO IT!!!!!! IT'S A TRAP!!!!!"
Now allow hilarity to ensue.
I think you should grab your cousin's tits again.
- Status
Similar threads
