[stern face] Of course. Someone has to be. [/stern face]
I Wish I Had A Friend
- Thread starter Taylirious
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All I want is to be happy and it seems impossible. 
I have felt like that in the past. In the end, I decided that this purpose was too vague. What does happy mean? Does it mean getting a perfect job? Finding a perfect partner? Having children? Getting a big house? Having friends?All I want is to be happy and it seems impossible.
It is hard to have it all, I dare to say it is not even normal. Thus, I now focus on one thing at a time and I found out this practice has actually made me happier, because I now think about the stuff that is good in my life, while before, I used to think about the bad stuff and overlook the positive.
^^ Precisely, Naira! People always walk through life looking down on the dog poop and totally overlook the rainbows, stars, pretty clouds, butterflies etc 
It's totally ok to have dreams - a life without them wouldn't be much of a life - but you shouldn't set your goals too high. Else you can't reach them and that'll frustrate you.
If you'd like to be a kindergarten teacher, what keeps you from trying to become one? (not meant as criticism, I'm just curious)
It's totally ok to have dreams - a life without them wouldn't be much of a life - but you shouldn't set your goals too high. Else you can't reach them and that'll frustrate you.
If you'd like to be a kindergarten teacher, what keeps you from trying to become one? (not meant as criticism, I'm just curious)
Tell that to the guy in my avatar.
"Most of all, don't aim too high. You're probably only suited to an office, or a factory job." 
Actually, while TayLaLaLa has none of what I call "hostages to fortune" (spouse, kids, mortgage or fully owned house, etc) is the perfect time to shoot for the moon.
Actually, while TayLaLaLa has none of what I call "hostages to fortune" (spouse, kids, mortgage or fully owned house, etc) is the perfect time to shoot for the moon.
TayLaLaLa, I'm sorry to hear that you feel lonely and that you aren't happy. I am under the impression that several issues come together although it's hard to tell because you say very little about your personal life (which is your right, of course).
You mentioned that you don't have any friends due to your bad financial situation. Well, I feel with you. I haven't been able to get a permanent contract for a job in the last ... eight years or so. If I am lucky I work for a few months and if not I am unemployed again. So, I totally get how hard it can be with very little money (although there is a difference in poverty, depending on the country you live in). Furthermore, I understand that it is so much harder to find friends when you can't afford to go anywhere. Again, I am in a similar situation. But as someone else has said up thread, happiness is not something that you simply get. You have to work for it.
Based on your comments I would suggest that you talk with a psychotherapist. There is no shame in that. A therapiest could help you to bring your life back on track by looking at your situation and by helping you solve the problems.
If a therapy is not an option for you, try other things. Find yourself a hobby. In my country the church sometimes offers cheaper courses and activities, for instance computer courses for elderly people. Not saying that you should take a computer course, but you get the idea, right? Maybe there is a charity organisation in your town that offers an activity you are interested in. On the other hand, you could always do some charity work yourself. Animal shelters are usually happy about helping hands and I am sure the same is true for other groups as well. That way you can kill several birds with one stone: You get out of the house, you meet new people and you have something to put in your CV.
I assume that you are looking for a job, right? If you can work, you should try everything to get back on your feet financially.
That being said, I believe that a lot of people have felt the way you feel right now (me included). So, you are in good company
.
You mentioned that you don't have any friends due to your bad financial situation. Well, I feel with you. I haven't been able to get a permanent contract for a job in the last ... eight years or so. If I am lucky I work for a few months and if not I am unemployed again. So, I totally get how hard it can be with very little money (although there is a difference in poverty, depending on the country you live in). Furthermore, I understand that it is so much harder to find friends when you can't afford to go anywhere. Again, I am in a similar situation. But as someone else has said up thread, happiness is not something that you simply get. You have to work for it.
Based on your comments I would suggest that you talk with a psychotherapist. There is no shame in that. A therapiest could help you to bring your life back on track by looking at your situation and by helping you solve the problems.
If a therapy is not an option for you, try other things. Find yourself a hobby. In my country the church sometimes offers cheaper courses and activities, for instance computer courses for elderly people. Not saying that you should take a computer course, but you get the idea, right? Maybe there is a charity organisation in your town that offers an activity you are interested in. On the other hand, you could always do some charity work yourself. Animal shelters are usually happy about helping hands and I am sure the same is true for other groups as well. That way you can kill several birds with one stone: You get out of the house, you meet new people and you have something to put in your CV.
I assume that you are looking for a job, right? If you can work, you should try everything to get back on your feet financially.
That being said, I believe that a lot of people have felt the way you feel right now (me included). So, you are in good company
.
eh, I like the no kill shelters myself.
?
TayLaLaLa, keep us posted. I had one of "those days" today, where some guys at work were discussing their wives and vacation plans, and I was the only one in the room who had absolutely nothing to contribute. Those kind of "unbridgeable gulfs" can be tough...
I just wanted to thank everyone who reached out to me. I appreciate it.
I have to admit though, I don't know what to say. Everyday seems like a new hell and I recently lost one thing I needed.
I have to admit though, I don't know what to say. Everyday seems like a new hell and I recently lost one thing I needed.
Nothing ever fixes things right away. Doing some small thing every day is helpful. Looking into some suggestion that sounded good, finding some free social event you could go to regularly. Yeah you will sit there and feel like it isn't enough, because it doesn't make you feel that much better but it's incremental. It adds up and adds up and adds up for a positive.
TayLaLaLa... I have been through hard times too especially with family. PLEASE feel free to PM me any time. Best of luck to you always~
All I want is to be happy and it seems impossible.
I've been there. I was in my senior year, semester two, of college before I found elementary education wasn't for me. It's been thirteen years and I think I've finally found what makes me happy.
I am just going to try and stay positive.
Thanks everyone!
Thanks everyone!
Good!
I just wanted to say one thing about the online relationships.
When I got the internet for the first time in 1998 I was 12 years old. I did not have many friends at school in real life. I met this group of girls online in 1998 in a chat room / online circle of people who were crazy about this old TV show we were all passionate about.
15 years later, I am still friends with 4 of those girls. The one girl I chat with daily on Facebook and consider her to be a dear friend. 15 years is a long time to still want to talk to one another especially since we've never even met (although we might plan a meetup but we all live in different states). Online relationships can last a long time. Don't discredit them! Those people got me through some of the toughest times in my life while I was being ridiculed and picked on in school. But then I would come home and talk to them and everything seemed so much brighter.
Now, I have my own life and I don't still talk to them because my life sucks or because I have to, but because I want to. Online relationships can last a lifetime!
That said, I would recommend the meetups. And hey you are interested in Trek...and I don't know any other fandom that has more real life meetups than Trek! Books clubs are also super fun (and hey you don't even need to buy the books. Spending hours at a bookstore reading books is a hobby of mine. Also your local library).
Also again not sure where you live but maybe there is a local music scene you could check out.
And also for self-esteem alone you might want to consider taking an easy part time job in the meantime. My state allows us to collect unemployment WHILE still working 30 or less hours per week. Also part time jobs rock. I met some of the most interesting and cool people while working a low-wage job at a bakery. I would still work there if they paid a liveable wage. It will give you something to do, to feel proud of, and something to wake up for.
And about money... trust me, a LOT of us are poor. Right now I am having a huge problem. I can't afford to live anywhere that costs more than 600 dollars a month. So I chose to just rent a SUPER SMALL room in a lady's house. But now she is forcing me to leave because they are doing construction. So I have to move back with my dad until I can figure everything out. Also the website I work for is unstable and may go out of business so I am job hunting too and it SUCKS. To add to that, I have this long-distance boyfriend who lives in England and he wants to come and stay with me for a month... but if I don't get a place by then I don't think he can come. So I am under a lot of stress about my life. It sucks! But life is precious and we don't get a lot of time here on Earth so enjoy what you can. Even if its something small.
And I am 28. Almost 30. I want to get married and have kids and have a stable job. It's just not as simple as it sounds.
I just wanted to say one thing about the online relationships.
When I got the internet for the first time in 1998 I was 12 years old. I did not have many friends at school in real life. I met this group of girls online in 1998 in a chat room / online circle of people who were crazy about this old TV show we were all passionate about.
15 years later, I am still friends with 4 of those girls. The one girl I chat with daily on Facebook and consider her to be a dear friend. 15 years is a long time to still want to talk to one another especially since we've never even met (although we might plan a meetup but we all live in different states). Online relationships can last a long time. Don't discredit them! Those people got me through some of the toughest times in my life while I was being ridiculed and picked on in school. But then I would come home and talk to them and everything seemed so much brighter.
Now, I have my own life and I don't still talk to them because my life sucks or because I have to, but because I want to. Online relationships can last a lifetime!
That said, I would recommend the meetups. And hey you are interested in Trek...and I don't know any other fandom that has more real life meetups than Trek!
Books clubs are also super fun (and hey you don't even need to buy the books. Spending hours at a bookstore reading books is a hobby of mine. Also your local library).Also again not sure where you live but maybe there is a local music scene you could check out.
And also for self-esteem alone you might want to consider taking an easy part time job in the meantime. My state allows us to collect unemployment WHILE still working 30 or less hours per week. Also part time jobs rock. I met some of the most interesting and cool people while working a low-wage job at a bakery. I would still work there if they paid a liveable wage. It will give you something to do, to feel proud of, and something to wake up for.
And about money... trust me, a LOT of us are poor. Right now I am having a huge problem. I can't afford to live anywhere that costs more than 600 dollars a month. So I chose to just rent a SUPER SMALL room in a lady's house. But now she is forcing me to leave because they are doing construction. So I have to move back with my dad until I can figure everything out. Also the website I work for is unstable and may go out of business so I am job hunting too and it SUCKS. To add to that, I have this long-distance boyfriend who lives in England and he wants to come and stay with me for a month... but if I don't get a place by then I don't think he can come. So I am under a lot of stress about my life.
It sucks! But life is precious and we don't get a lot of time here on Earth so enjoy what you can. Even if its something small.And I am 28. Almost 30. I want to get married and have kids and have a stable job. It's just not as simple as it sounds.
I appreciate you sharing with me Captain Kathryn . I hope things work out.
Well I just want to let you know that a lot of us have felt that way. And those online relationships really did get me through hard times and I love the fact that I'm still chatting with an online friend I met 15 years ago! You never know what will happen!
But yeah I would recommend the part time job if you don't already have one. Something fun and happy like working at the bakery was awesome while I was job hunting after I finished school.
But yeah I would recommend the part time job if you don't already have one. Something fun and happy like working at the bakery was awesome while I was job hunting after I finished school.
I was trying to get back at the grocery store I worked at but my car is off the road until who knows...
Ugh.
Ugh.
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