I Wish I Had A Friend

[Taylirious]

I appreciate everyone's kind words and offering support.

As far as education, I am a HS graduate. I have work experience in retail, food service and that is it. I am not good at anything really.

 

[Australis]

Weeeellll, find something that interests you, and then take a course on it at a community college or similar. Start small, work out from there. Longest journey, one step, and all that.

History? Drama? Music? Art? Writing? What are you passionate about?

History is a good one. I love history, that's why I'm choosing it.

Another guy who is passionate about history is Dan Carlin, who has the Hardcore History podcast. These are fantastic programmes, discussing parts of history you may be unfamiliar with. I thought I knew a lot about Rome, but his five part talk about the fall of the Roman Republic (which included a marathon five hour final part) was just great, as was his take on the Mongols. And I'm about to start his take on WW1 (fact: did you know that in Sarajevo, the spot where Gavrilo Princip fired the shots that assassinated Franz Ferdinand has been immprtalised with metal footprints? This scandalises me, as those two shots meant most of the 20th Century was on fire, or close to it, even the hottest of fires, over Cuba. But I digress). If this is something that interests you, check his stuff put, and go from there. And there is a LOT of history to explore. And if you're into SF, as I assume you are, you can't help but think about alt.history, and knowing the real stuff will only reinforce that (see the Hardcore History podcast, 'The What Ifs of 1066').

Drama is also a good one. When a local theater group couldn't find someone to play the villain in a musical, my GF thought of me (yes, that kind of relationship), and not only did I learn some new skills, I had fun and met new people. What's not to like?

And important advice: get out of your comfort zone. It may sting sometimes, but at the end of the day, you won't regret it.

 

[gturner]

Something that bothers me that others have said about me is they think I am mentally retarded. If that is the case then so be it, I have worked with and have family that are mentally retarded but I don't think I am and no professional has diagnosed me as being that way.

Well that's just silly. As my dad used to say about amateur (ham) radio, over the airwaves nobody can tell if you're black or white, crippled, blind, fat or ugly, but the one thing you can't hide is stupid, because the moment you open your mouth you reveal it to all the world. The same applies to the Internet. If you weren't smart we could all tell within two or three sentences.

It reminds me of a girl I used to have lunch with who worked for Operation Read. One day she was very agitated and downright angry. An illiterate man in his early-20's had been referred to her for evaluation. He was from eastern Kentucky and came in wearing overalls, and he talked in a very country accent. He explained that he needed to learn how to read so he could get better job. He said he could read just a little bit, so she gave him a series of reading comprehension tests and he scored higher than most top-level college students. So she started asking him why on Earth he thought he was illiterate, and it was simply that his school teachers, counselors, and whatnot had told him he was, probably because he had a thick hillbilly accent and they didn't care enough to actually test him, and he naively believed them. She wanted to choke them, and spent an hour or so explaining to him that he could read really, really, really well.

 

[Taylirious]

I am passionate about music. I was in a band a long time ago but it didn't work out. I just loved being in front of people and putting my all into what I love. I consider myself a creative person.

ETA: @gturner That type of stuff happens too much. I have experienced it too. People look at you and assume the worst.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

in that case you could maybe combine it with your experience in retail and start a career in a shop for music instruments or records/CDs or at a concert agency.

 

[publiusr]

Take care.

 

[LMFAOschwarz]

I just wanted to chime in, as I know these feelings all too well.

As far as the work thing goes, sometimes it's not what you do, or are good at, but how you do it. I've worked with enough people who have a default surly attitude (not that I'm saying you do), that I'm amazed some of them didn't put a gun to their heads. I often, inside, share some of their feelings, but I refuse to let darkness be my guiding light, if you get what I mean. I'm not in my dream job now by any stretch, but I have found that keeping a positive attitude (not necessarily rose-colored glasses, mind you!) can lead to learning new things, and new opportunities.

I once heard somewhere, and never forgot, a saying that goes "Emotions are like muscles: the more you use them, the stronger they get.". I live by that.

As far as the retardation comments and such go, those can be insidiously destructive to people. My niece suffered that kind of commentary as a kid from her family (which outraged me, I knew from my own childhood experiences what it was like), and she ultimately paid a price for it socially. Nowadays, that she's off on her own, she's really started to blossom, once away from the family small-minded, closed-universe nonsense.

You can pm me, too: I like to meet new people!

 

[rhubarbodendron]

that's a very good saying! Gotta remember it.
I made the same observation. People who view everything negative slip deeper and deeper into that attitude. And your mindset does have a very distinct influence on your effectivity at work. People who have fun at their jobs perform far better than those who just try to pass the time till they get pensioned off. Once you can motivate your employees (and yourself) there'll be success and that will be an even better motivation.

I have to admit, though, that in some cases it's next to impossible to raise people's interest and create positive feedback. I have a co-worker who never listens to what anyone says and hardly ever does any work so that sooner or later someone looses their nerves and does his work for him so that the deadline can be met. His whole attitude is screaming "I'm not interested, I'm just waiting to get pensioned off".
In my despair I've started to drag him along with me when I go out sampling. At least he has hardly any chance to laze around there. After 3 days in the pouring rain he gets surprisingly eager to do paperwork *does evil colleague trademark cackle*

 

[Australis]

Music! Plenty of free music creation software out there! ALl you need then is a microphone. Also, is there a community radio station? You meet people, play records, and hava access to a studio. Stuff like that. GIve it some thought, look around your area.

 

[USS Triumphant]

You can count me as your friend. I have to admit I'm kind of a crappy friend, because the overwhelming majority of my time and resources are split between work and my wife and kids. I don't even get together with my lifelong friends anymore except on Facebook. But as others have said here, if you ever want to talk, PM me. And at least you'll know I'm as good a friend to you as I am to any of my other friends.

 

[Taylirious]

I feel like an idiot for posting this now. I should be adult enough to handle things.

 

[USS Triumphant]

I feel like an idiot for posting this now. I should be adult enough to handle things.

Nonsense - you're not an idiot. Sometimes, we all need a little help, or just to know someone cares.

[yt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2xel6q0yao[/yt]

 

[Taylirious]

I feel like a loser. Everyone I know is married, has a family and is happy. EVERYONE! That is all I ever wanted.

ETA: I said my passion was music and it is. The one thing I ever wanted to do from grade school till HS was be a kindergarten teacher.

 

[LMFAOschwarz]

I feel like a loser. Everyone I know is married, has a family and is happy. EVERYONE! That is all I ever wanted.

I'm not married, either, and having just turned 51, I can't help but believe that for whatever reason, it isn't meant to be.

Though one difference with us, is that everyone I know is divorced!

One piece of advice which might be needed: many people, in their cement-headed insensitivity, seem to have this perception that if one isn't married by a certain point, there's something 'wrong' with them. Relatives, in particular, seem to do this a lot... Beware of them.

 

[Australis]

Don't feel like an idiot. We all need to reach out now and then.

I am married. It is not fun. Seriously. Better to wait for the right person than live with the wrong one. Trust me.

Teacher. For some reason I'm assuming you're a guy. I don't know what it's like where you live, but in Australia they are crying out for male primary school teachers, to be a good role model and influence. And you get to meet all the single moms.

THere are things out there waiting to be grabbed, don't let trepiation hold you back.

 

[Taylirious]

I just wish I didn't feel so helpless.

 

[Melakon]

I feel like a loser. Everyone I know is married, has a family and is happy. EVERYONE! That is all I ever wanted.

ETA: I said my passion was music and it is. The one thing I ever wanted to do from grade school till HS was be a kindergarten teacher.

You're not a loser, you're still young. I'm a loser, and I can say that in full confidence because my better days ended on January 6, 1991, when I lost the best job I'd ever had. Now I'm 63 and have been effectively broke for 20 years. My marriage was over before I was 30. I survived it.

I had originally gotten that job when I was about your age, and had some minor experience working with computers. You have some experience with music, so you're young enough you can do something with that. The opportunities are always there, you just have to find them. You'll get through this, although it might not seem possible to you now.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

GUYS I think you are ALL GREAT.

 

[LMFAOschwarz]

It's also true that in this day and age, TayLaLaLa, you're potentially far better off now than you would have been when I was your age. There was no internet. You can literally contact anyone, or learn anything you want/need to. In my day (God, I never thought I'd be using that phrase!), one was pretty much constrained to know people with whom you shared geographical location. Growing up in the small town I did, I shudder to think what it would have been like had I been exposed to only those folks these past twenty years!

I've been a bit slow to take advantage of this myself, but it is pretty amazing. When I was your age, the only computers I knew of were on Star Trek! (ours don't have all the cool blinking lights, but what're ya gonna do?)

 

[LMFAOschwarz]

GUYS I think you are ALL GREAT.

Aww, you're only saying that 'cause it's true...