I've posted this over in Trek Art as my monthy contest entry...but it also works as my idea of how Nemesis could have been better. Enjoy. 
How Would You Change Nemesis?
- Thread starter Pegasus
- Start date
I've posted this over in Trek Art as my monthy contest entry...but it also works as my idea of how Nemesis could have been better. Enjoy.
Damn! Now that would have been awesome! I love it!Warmest Wishes,
Whoa Nellie
I don't disagree my friend. If they wanted to, they could have made the story work though (as I attempted to show in my quick rewrite/rearraging of the script).
From my last watching of the movie, what it desperately needed was not to be so Goddamn depressing. The whole movie feels like the characters are sick of the whole thing, and Data's death is the ultimate nail in the coffin to the whole thing.
I'm not big on fan fic, but I know I could write a better Nemesis story (I'd probably concentrate on a Romulan centric story). Not that any of it matters now.
What an easy question.
If I was redooing Nemesis, I'd drop SHINZON entirely and just have LORE become the damn Praetor with Sela as his lapdog/girlfriend (insert a few cracks from Sela about how Lore is "fully functional"). And it's not Picard he's after, it's Data: apparently some of his parts are beginning to break down and he doesn't know how to replace them, so he's decided to steal them from his brother.
Suffice to say, this changes the entire dynamic. When Picard and co see Lore on the Scimitar for the first time, instead of being puzzled they are massively pissed, since they know how evil he is but there's nothing they can do about it because he's Praetor now. A few elements would also change: Data and Lore would have a big conversation where Lore tries to convince him he's a new man and is looking to change the Empire into something shiny and constructive while Data wants to believe him.
And the ending would also change. Scimitar thrashes Enterprise and both warbirds and cripples the impulse engines. Enterprise is dead in space, and THEN the ship is boarded by Remans looking for Data. Fight them through the ship, deck by deck, the boarding parties basically capturing most of the ship. Picard orders auto-destruct and orders the crew to abandon ship, but Data overrides the auto-destruct sequence and surrenders, over Picard's fierce objection. Boarding parties leave, Sela takes Data to the Scimitar, where he meets with Lore on the bridge and tries to reason with him again. It doesn't work: now that Lore has what he wants, he orders the crew to destroy Enterprise anyway. Scimitar starts firing again, shooting off pieces of the ship. Seeing at last that there's no hope for his brother, Data has a "Darth Vader" moment and sets his power cells to overload. Data explodes, destroying Lore along with the Scimitar's bridge, which also disables their weapon systems.
Thumbs up? Thumbs down?
If I was redooing Nemesis, I'd drop SHINZON entirely and just have LORE become the damn Praetor with Sela as his lapdog/girlfriend (insert a few cracks from Sela about how Lore is "fully functional"). And it's not Picard he's after, it's Data: apparently some of his parts are beginning to break down and he doesn't know how to replace them, so he's decided to steal them from his brother.
Suffice to say, this changes the entire dynamic. When Picard and co see Lore on the Scimitar for the first time, instead of being puzzled they are massively pissed, since they know how evil he is but there's nothing they can do about it because he's Praetor now. A few elements would also change: Data and Lore would have a big conversation where Lore tries to convince him he's a new man and is looking to change the Empire into something shiny and constructive while Data wants to believe him.
And the ending would also change. Scimitar thrashes Enterprise and both warbirds and cripples the impulse engines. Enterprise is dead in space, and THEN the ship is boarded by Remans looking for Data. Fight them through the ship, deck by deck, the boarding parties basically capturing most of the ship. Picard orders auto-destruct and orders the crew to abandon ship, but Data overrides the auto-destruct sequence and surrenders, over Picard's fierce objection. Boarding parties leave, Sela takes Data to the Scimitar, where he meets with Lore on the bridge and tries to reason with him again. It doesn't work: now that Lore has what he wants, he orders the crew to destroy Enterprise anyway. Scimitar starts firing again, shooting off pieces of the ship. Seeing at last that there's no hope for his brother, Data has a "Darth Vader" moment and sets his power cells to overload. Data explodes, destroying Lore along with the Scimitar's bridge, which also disables their weapon systems.
Thumbs up? Thumbs down?
^^^ I like it except for the Data dying again, I would prefer for him not to die.
And the part about Lore needing "spare parts" isn't jiving with me either. There's many other reasons Lore could be going after Data (revenge for deactivating him in the first place?). Sela might work as a background characters, not sure she'd be good as a second in command.
And the part about Lore needing "spare parts" isn't jiving with me either. There's many other reasons Lore could be going after Data (revenge for deactivating him in the first place?). Sela might work as a background characters, not sure she'd be good as a second in command.
Not to take away Tom Hardy, but what you did Flux makes Nemesis look even better if Stewart played Shizon as wellI've posted this over in Trek Art as my monthy contest entry...but it also works as my idea of how Nemesis could have been better. Enjoy.
- Eliminate all action scenes except for the final space battle in that nebula.
- Re-insert all "dialogue-filled" scenes which were cut.
- Re-insert all "dialogue-filled" scenes which were cut.
A bit First Contact-y, but I like the rest.
I hate to be so negative as to say "cancel it!", but I think it would be hard to fix Nemesis without rewriting it from the ground up.
The whole idea of "Picard's evil twin", whether played by Stewart or anyone else, is pretty darn silly to me. Shinzon's motivations make very little sense. His desire to destroy the Federation seems misguided, as many have pointed out.
Turning the Romulan Star Empire into a banana republic that one man can overthrow so easily was ridiculous.
EVERYTHING to do with Data was awful, from his newly discovered twin to his pointless death. The rest of the crew had very little to do.
They were trying so hard to copy Khan (obsessed villain, death of a main character, etc), and failed so miserably.
This script had so many fundamental problems, you'd really need to start over from the beginning. As for more solid suggestions:
The whole idea of "Picard's evil twin", whether played by Stewart or anyone else, is pretty darn silly to me. Shinzon's motivations make very little sense. His desire to destroy the Federation seems misguided, as many have pointed out.
Turning the Romulan Star Empire into a banana republic that one man can overthrow so easily was ridiculous.
EVERYTHING to do with Data was awful, from his newly discovered twin to his pointless death. The rest of the crew had very little to do.
They were trying so hard to copy Khan (obsessed villain, death of a main character, etc), and failed so miserably.
This script had so many fundamental problems, you'd really need to start over from the beginning. As for more solid suggestions:
- Maybe include the Romulans, if there is an interesting story to tell. Perhaps something to do with their internal politics, political change in the wake of Spock's resistance movement, that kind of thing. No Shinzon, no Remans, none of that nonsense.
- Don't feel the need to throw in an action sequence just because 10 minutes have gone by and nobody has fired a phaser. That dune buggy chase was perhaps the most embarrassing moment in Trek since the campfire sequence in Final Frontier.
^^^ I pretty much agree with you on every single point.
There was so much they could have based a story on that would have been 10 times better.
As usual, the franchise was trying to copy it's successes (Every movie trying to be a TWOK, and every series trying to be TNG) It's just sad that they couldn't just stick to their own premises, which would have worked much better.
There was so much they could have based a story on that would have been 10 times better.
As usual, the franchise was trying to copy it's successes (Every movie trying to be a TWOK, and every series trying to be TNG) It's just sad that they couldn't just stick to their own premises, which would have worked much better.
With apologies in advance to Flux Capacitor for defacing his very lovely work, it inspired me to "improve" it a little...
With apologies in advance to Flux Capacitor for defacing his very lovely work, it inspired me to "improve" it a little...
What does everyone have against the campfire scene? I loved seeing those 3 dudes just basically hanging out.
RobertScorpio
Pariah
Im one of the biggest NEMESIS bashers on this site (and prefer V to it by leaps and bounds)...but I definately think your suggestions would have made it a very good movie. Good stuff there..
Rob
It's not so much the idea of that scene that bothers me, it's the execution (like everything else in Trek V).
Kirk, Spock, and McCoy having fun while off duty = okay.
"Marsh-melons" = not okay.
Shred every copy of it.
