Maybe he's just trying to distract us from the fact that he's been consistently wrong in this thread so far. I mean "weakness"?! Daddy issues?! Are we for real here?
Harrasment
- Thread starter MetalPants
- Start date
Maybe he's just trying to distract us from the fact that he's been consistently wrong in this thread so far. I mean "weakness"?! Daddy issues?! Are we for real here?
That only works in a vacuum, its a simplistic idea. What if the people who don't care much for you put their dislike into action? Not everyone can fight back effectively by themselves. There's really no call for harrasment in a work environment in the first place.
RAMA
When I was at BMC, we had two managers who were abusive to our doulas, mainly the Black ones. They reported it to the hospital many times, as did I. Unfortunately, HR and the hospital lawyers considered these poor, ethnic, per diem women to be disposable and would do nothing but cover it all up. I fought with them over it for over a year and a half, until the fight became so bitter that I quit. Now the hospital is facing at least six lawsuits and a state investigation for discrimination and they're still covering it up. And they'll probably win.
Anybody who thinks harassment can be stopped just by "standing up for yourself" is living in a fool's paradise.
Anybody who thinks harassment can be stopped just by "standing up for yourself" is living in a fool's paradise.
Yes, we are for real.
Weakness leads to victimization. The woman a few posts up points out that she is strong and is still the victim of harassment.
I say that her strength is directly responsible for her NOT being a victim. She may suffer unfair treatment at the hands of random assh0les, but her strength has kept her from being a "victim". She's a strong woman, and because of that she's been able to rise above and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Good for her. If more people relied on their own inner strength and avoided simply whining about everything we'd all be far better off.
And yes, I wholeheartedly agree with the posters who point out that "strength" may not be the correct term when referring to the harassers. I shouldn't have used the word "strength" because we can clearly all agree that "bullies" are cowards.
Eric Hoffer - "Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength."
I just can't stand whining, it's disgusting. Take charge of your f*cking life and stop waiting for everyone to carry you to safety. The weakness and mediocrity that is encouraged in our society is sickening.
EDIT: And I don't mean to say that relying on friends and family is weak. Of course, we all rely on our loved ones to help us through rough patches in our lives. However, thinking that your sob story entitles you to some kind of special treatment and universal sympathy from other random people is just wrong.
No, usually that only comes from good people.
Human nature also includes empathy. It is possible to be a strong person and still give a shit about other people when there isn't anything in it for you.
That is not the case..classifying victims as "weak" is often part of the issue and furthers the harassment..I'm glad you're not in my supervisory chain..as your attitude would prevent anyone from reporting such incidences..
Harassers often will make employment unbearable to the victim...simply stating "Stand up and grow a backbone" NEVER stops true harassment..that's why it's been classified as an civil offence and has been addressed in law and corporate rules and regulations and has resulted in the loss of millions in productivity and damage awards..
http://employeeissues.com/harassment.htm
http://www.management-issues.com/display_page.asp?section=research&id=2247
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My girlfriend was in a very unhealthy, abusive relationship before she was with me. He not only abused her emotionally and verbally, but physically as well. Something would go wrong, and it was always her fault. They would have plans to do something, and it was always what he wanted to do. She tried to leave him once, and he attacked her, and then threatened to hurt himself if he left her. Long story short, the guy was fucked up in the head. However, she stuck with him because he had lowered her self esteem to a degree that she didn't think she could do any better...until luckily I came along and showed her she didn't need to put up with his crap. I told her that even if she didn't want to be with me that I thought she should get away from him and she was finally able to summon the courage to leave him. We're now together and he's now off trying to join the Marines or something, but I doubt they'll take him, even though he could really use their influence.
So if helping others made you feel horrible inside, you'd still do it?
If caring about others made you suffer, you still would?
No, you wouldn't. No one admits this because all the kids on the forum will come in with the "but you're so mean" comments, but it's true.
This isn't just me talking here, read a f*ckin book.
TheLonelySquire
Vice Admiral
Maybe some don't think self-reliance and strength is a virtue.
Don't worry though, there will doubtless be an government harrasrment entitlement program set up within the next three weeks. Only for those earning less than 150k per year though.
TheLonelySquire
Vice Admiral
Okay, I'm going to say this as respectfully as I can. The ex-bf was wrong because he's an abusive loser. Your gf was wrong for not standing up for herself and getting out of there the MOMENT she was first abused. His problems are not hers. They were not married and even if they were she should never have put up with that for a second. And God bless you for offering her no strings attached help.
The bottom line though is, she let herself be abused. Do you understand where I'm coming from or no?
One of the reasons that more women don't come forward is attitudes like this.
And if bacon tasted like horse shit I'd never order a BLT. Your logic is astounding.
I don't care about people because I want to feel good about myself, I care because I know no other way to be. We're programmed to care about other people because what is good for the pack is good for the individual, and we're very much pack animals.
This insistence on self-interest above all things is the aberration, not empathy and helping others. It is why most people don't know how to deal with the alpha-males and lone wolves of the world. They can't conceive of someone who thinks that way, and cannot empathize. I conceive and understand, but do not relate.
I don't think you're mean, just kind of a pessimistic douche.
Somehow I feel that someone here has never been harassed, and doesn't know what he's talking about.
And if he ever will be, he will just cry himself in a corner like the ones he so haughtily despised. Or he will go crazy, pull out a gun and pass the rest of his life in jail. Sweet.
And if he ever will be, he will just cry himself in a corner like the ones he so haughtily despised. Or he will go crazy, pull out a gun and pass the rest of his life in jail. Sweet.
You must have missed the part where I said she tried to break up with him, and he attacked her, then threatened to take his own life if she ever left him. Add that to the fact that she had incredibly low self esteem at the time and thought that he was the only chance she had to be with anyone and that was just how her life was going to be, and you can easily see why she didn't do anything about it. It was only when she saw that someone cared about her, someone who would never even think of harming her, that she realized that what he was doing to her was wrong and that she had to get out. It wasn't an easy process, as he didn't give up easily (in fact we're still dealing with him and his inability to let her go) but she's a million times happier now...and that's because someone helped her.
If we all just turn a blind eye to this kind of thing, pretend that its okay or just blame the victims, then people like her ex will continue to get away with manipulating and abusing people like my girlfriend, and if those women are anything like her, they don't deserve that kind of treatment. Nobody does.
Your thesis is strictly your thesis... you are defining you and hoping that others share these qualities so that you wouldn't have to see yourself as the person you actually are.
Not only is it important to help others when it is inconvenient, that is when it is most important to help others. If you do a good thing for any other reason other than it was the right thing to do, then you did that act for the wrong reason.
You know the old saying... No good deed goes unpunished. No truly good deed is ever done without self sacrifice.
And just because you found a book that supports your self image doesn't justify how you've treated others.
Yes, I do. You are inherently greedy and selfish, so you see the rest of the world that way. If you want something you aren't entitled to but see yourself as the stronger, you take what you want.
And everything you've said in this thread to this point shows this is truly your character as you seem to want to believe that others share these traits so you aren't alone in them.
While you may not be alone in having these traits, you are absolutely not the norm either.
I have nearly always been more in every situation I have walked into. I've always been physically larger, stronger and faster than those around me. And yet I have never been aggressive towards anyone who was not showing aggression towards me or others first. In fact the few times where I've walked into a situation where I was out numbered was when a group was attacking an individual (fortunately, I've not been injured in such cases to date).
Those who prey on the weak aren't strong. The strong have no need to prey on anyone, that is the nature of being strong. Those who prey on the weak are compensating for some form of fear by attempting to generate it in others.
Maybe you should do a little more self reflection before digging yourself into a deeper hole here.
Yes, I do feel that human beings are inherently greedy and selfish. It's people like you who turn that into a bad thing. Everything you do, you do for a selfish reason. You donate to charity because it makes you feel noble, you help the environment so that YOUR planet survives for YOUR children to enjoy, you defend the weak so that they'll thank YOU.
This isn't a bad thing, it's human nature. Greed and selfishness are so often used for evil that the words themselves have a negative connotation, and I think that's completely unfair.
So, when I say that you're greedy and selfish, that isn't an insult. Hopefully, you use your greed towards positive ends (helping people, making the world a better place, etc).
See, this is what really annoys the hell out of me. Just because I'm not gloating on an internet forum about what a martyr I am, doesn't make me an assh0le. I'm actually a very nice guy, I open the door for everyone, I donate to charity whenever I can, when I see lost dogs running in the street I find their homes, I defend anyone in need of it, etc.... I just don't pretend to be this altruistic saint without a selfish bone in my body. I help people because it makes me feel like a good person, and it makes others think well of me.
This is the same reason you, or anyone else for that matter, do nice things. You're just terrified to admit it because our society has trained you to associate the word selfish with evil.
Good, if you're telling the truth then we're on the same page here. The difference is, I recognize that when I use my strength to do good it makes me feel good. You want us all to believe your martyring yourself for the good of others, which just isn't true. Fighting against impossible odds to save the weak is a noble thing to do, and succeeding is going to make you feel very good about yourself... there's nothing wrong with that.
Yes, dude, everyone agreed on this a while ago. There is a difference between the strength I was referring to and the strength you're referring to. Bullies aren't strong, they're most often very weak individuals who feel the need to prey on the even weaker people around them. As I said earlier, the only way to deal with these people is to either find the strength inside yourself to repel them, or to find a strong person in your life to help you.
Sure, I'll do that. Maybe you should do the same.
You get it, do you? I'm impressed. It was in plain English and everything!
