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Friends with Benefits?

In that specific case, a lack of romantic interest. A relationship wouldn't have been desirable or beneficial. You'll have to take my word for that without my having to define the nature of our relationship in detail, those details of which would necessarily not be applicable to any other situation anyway.
Accepted as it is, I don't want to pry in your personal affairs. :)

Like I said, I define it on an individual basis. However, if I wanted to generalize, I'd agree with what you're saying. My only problem is that I find a flaw with your assumption that a romantic partnership is the natural endpoint of any sexual relationship. It may be, but it may not be. It depends on the individuals.
Nope, that's not what I said at all, so much so that I said earlier that I would be more inclined to understand a random sexual encounter with a stranger than to understand wanting a sexual encounter with a friend. I accept people saying that they seek sex for sex's sake, even if I personally don't do it. A sexual relationship is just that: a sexual relationship. It doesn't necessarily entail romantic feelings and I never made such an assumption.

I agree that every situation needs to be evaluated on its own and that generalising is usually not a very good idea. So let me put it this way: as I think of any and all of my friends, in the past and in the present day, I cannot fathom for the life of me a sexual encounter with any of them, ever. I guess I'm just not wired that way.
 
Yeah, I'm sorry about that. My points were muddled and ill-defined, both in words and to myself. Frankly, I'm not sure where I fall on all of this. I guess I'll just leave it at that I can fathom such encounters. I'd have to think about it a little more to really define it, though it's not something I anticipate having to deal with in the future.
 
I'm currently in such a situation. It's great! No expectations, no flowers or card, no phone calls just to let them know you're "thinkin' about 'em".

Very efficient and business like. She comes over, I fix a drink, we chat a bit about our day and one of us says "Let's do this!".

And then we do.

I'd say that whole story is true other then the fact thats it's a girl... It's a dude and you know it..
 
Back in high school I had a few.. I went well.. All sex and no dating.. in hindsight I think we both wanted more but neither of us would take that first step to try and make a lasting thing.. Funny thing I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend.. But it never seemed odd to us to bang almost everyday. It lasted oh i dunno maybe 2 and a half years or so.. But we had a falling out of some kind.. and stop our "benefits"... However, most upsetting was we just didn't talk at all after that.. I think it was the only way to make sure we stopped our banging.. Hell, that was like 10+ years ago.. Oh well.
 
It was never really for me. However, if two people are okay with the casual nature of it and want to get off on each other-- they'd better have cavalier attitudes toward sexuality or there will be jealously/awkwardness later on. It really depends on the person.

Me? I've found all casual encounters empty and unfulfilling. Now that I'm engaged, I have friends who are girls now who probably wouldn't be friends had we let things escalate to that level...

Again. I refuse to be judgmental about this, to each his own-- if two people are comfortable with it, more power to them... but for me the idea sounds emotionally stressful.
 
Yes, there has been a "friend-with-benefits" situation in my life. I later went on to marry her. Good times then, great times now.....

Q2
 
I find the concept of "f*ck buddies" rather pathetic and shallow to be honest. It's like putting intimacy (and sex) on the same level as Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit.

Unless you're in love with someone, sex is on the same level as Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit. :p

Actually, I hate Monopoly, so sex is way better than Monopoly.
 
I find the concept of "f*ck buddies" rather pathetic and shallow to be honest. It's like putting intimacy (and sex) on the same level as Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit.

Unless you're in love with someone, sex is on the same level as Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit. :p

Actually, I hate Monopoly, so sex is way better than Monopoly.

You're just not building the hotels in the right places.
 
Unless you're in love with someone, sex is on the same level as Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit. :p

Actually, I hate Monopoly, so sex is way better than Monopoly.

You're just not building the hotels in the right places.

I was going to make a joke about my roommate's giant vagina here, then realised it probably wouldn't make any sense to anyone else...
 
Oh, it was some random comment during D&D one night...something about men sleeping with small women to make their dicks look big, and Sarah's character is a half-orc and was sleeping with a small human male, so naturally our DM said it was to make her vagina look bigger. From then on, Sarah's reasoning for everything was "to make my vagina look bigger!" And half of the table talk is how much we can fit in there...

I don't know from personal experience whether or not she actually has a giant vagina. Yet. :shifty:
 
Oh, it was some random comment during D&D one night...something about men sleeping with small women to make their dicks look big, and Sarah's character is a half-orc and was sleeping with a small human male, so naturally our DM said it was to make her vagina look bigger. From then on, Sarah's reasoning for everything was "to make my vagina look bigger!" And half of the table talk is how much we can fit in there...

Ah, a Pouch of Unlimited Contents.
 
It was a physical expression of the type of love you share with friends.
See right there? That's just not right in my book. There's a big difference between:

1. Being friends
2. Being physically attracted to someone
3. Being in love with someone

And while the last two can grant the development of a sexual situation or encounter, as far as I am concerned the first doesn't. To be honest, it would feel like incest.

This said: IDIC, I say.

And what if we're not capable of being in love with someone?
 
There are some people that get along as friends but know they are not romantically compatible
As it stands, right now I am making plans to go spend New Years with her

She is a special girl in my heart, has been since I met her, always will be... but we can't make it click in a relationship sort of way... so we have become de-facto friends with benefits.
Is there a way for us to make it more? Doubtful, we've tried before. So, why not enjoy what we do have? We are both adults (she's actually a little older than me... he he...) and neither of us is involved at the moment
 
I'm addicted to solitaire. Whenever I'm sitting at my computer, that's what I'm doing. Literally can't keep my hands off it. :(
 
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