Friends with Benefits?

[Philo]

I've never really defined it this way but I guess I've had this twice before. One was kind of an arrangement of convenience but didn't really work out because we weren't actually close enough friends or all that attracted to each other. The second one worked really well purely because we were super close friends but there weren't any romantic feelings between us. I'm still close friends with the second, though none of that kind of thing has happened in awhile.

 

[Roshi]

Do what?

Squiggy shows her his space shuttle.

NOW YOU'VE ALL SEEN IT!!!

What a brilliant idea from NASA! In order to have more funding, they sell a space shuttle model -slash- dildo combo!
Simply brilliant!

 

[RJDiogenes]

Merging with "TrekBBS Crushes" Thread....

Not really. But wouldn't that be funny?

 

[JimCasy]

Merging with "TrekBBS Crushes" Thread....

Not really. But wouldn't that be funny?

Oh christ.

That would be...interesting. Though unfortunately I've never had any sexual contact with any of my trekbbs crushes...or really, that should be fortunately, probably. Depending on which crushes.

 

[Gepard]

We should just get it over with and organize a TrekBBS orgy. I mean, we're all thinking it, right?

Right?

 

[RJDiogenes]

Moving to "Meet-Ups" Forum....

 

[Philo]

 

[Niorah]

^

Never had "friends with benefits".

I find the concept of "f*ck buddies" rather pathetic and shallow to be honest. It's like putting intimacy (and sex) on the same level as Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit.
"So what shall we do tonight? Wanna play cards?"
"Nah, let's have sex instead, you know, just to kill some time."

Bah.

 

[Philo]

Although it's true that I am pretty pathetic , it wasn't like that when I did it. It was a physical expression of the type of love you share with friends. That's one of the reasons I don't like defining it in terms like "friends with benefits" or "fuck buddies", because that does make it sound pathetic and shallow.

 

[Gepard]

Although it's true that I am pretty pathetic, it wasn't like that when I did it. It was a physical expression of the type of love you share with friends.

I'll believe that when you tell me why you took your sombrero away.

 

[Philo]

I was just thinking that Genevieve does look kind of wrong without it. It's a little known fact that the absence of sombreros is the real reason she left during the shooting of Voyager's pilot.

It'll be back when this black and white thing's over.

 

[Niorah]

It was a physical expression of the type of love you share with friends.

See right there? That's just not right in my book. There's a big difference between:

1. Being friends
2. Being physically attracted to someone
3. Being in love with someone

And while the last two can grant the development of a sexual situation or encounter, as far as I am concerned the first doesn't. To be honest, it would feel like incest.

This said: IDIC, I say.

 

[Philo]

You don't love your friends?

That said, I didn't think it was possible beforehand myself. I also doubt it would work in many situations.

 

[Niorah]

I love my friends very much, and I love my mother too, are you suggesting I should also sleep with her to show her my love?

 

[Philo]

Well that's up to you. I think that'd be kind of gross though.

 

[Niorah]

Exactly, you see we all draw the line between love and sex somewhere, and to me friendship and sex are not even in the same galaxy. I do express my love for my friends both in words and actions, but sex is completely out of the picture, to the point that (shallow as I think it is) I'd sooner understand people having sex with strangers that they feel physically attracted to than people choosing to have sex with friends.

 

[Philo]

See, I don't understand generalizing in this area. I usually define these things on an individual basis. On top of that, in this case all I have is one anecdote to fall back on and I don't feel it's right to extemporize it further than that. I mean that for my own benefit as well as for this discussion.

 

[Niorah]

If you are such good friends, and you also find each other attractive enough to want to have sex, what's stopping you from having a proper relationship? It's a sincere question, I am curious about it. But I will not accept the answer "It may ruin our friendship", sorry.

I think the whole "friends with benefits" is a bit of the easy way out of the responsibility that comes with having a partner (companion, girlfirend, call it whatever you want). You want your cake and you want to eat it too and you don't want a tummy-ache afterwards.
I'm using "you" in a general way here.

 

[Philo]

In that specific case, a lack of romantic interest. A relationship wouldn't have been desirable or beneficial. You'll have to take my word for that without my having to define the nature of our relationship in detail, those details of which would necessarily not be applicable to any other situation anyway.

Like I said, I define it on an individual basis. However, if I wanted to generalize, I'd agree with what you're saying. My only problem is that I find a flaw with your assumption that a romantic partnership is the natural endpoint of any sexual relationship. It may be, but it may not be. It depends on the individuals.

 

[blaXXer]

I'm currently in such a situation. It's great! No expectations, no flowers or card, no phone calls just to let them know you're "thinkin' about 'em".

Very efficient and business like. She comes over, I fix a drink, we chat a bit about our day and one of us says "Let's do this!".

And then we do.

...Tucker?