Films you can't stand...

[opali]

Oh, I can understand Axiom's dislike of Citizen Kane and he did well to describe it feeling "pretentious" (short, sweet and to the point, as usual, J ). As the author below stated, there's a reason Hollywood hasn't remade it, and it isn't because it's a "classic."

Here Axiom, enjoy.

Narratively, it’s inert. A slow-moving, scattershot storyline that meanders for two hours and offers a motherfucking anticlimax of epic proportions. The fact that it is noted for having the most popular ending of all time is confounding to me. It’s shit, people. If I’d told you that you could sit through 120 minutes of mind numbing tedium, enduring one belabored flashback after another, all the while suffering through screechingly painful musical numbers (Dorothy Comingfore: Shut the hell up) and that the only reward you were going to get at for all that suffering was a goddamn flimsy metaphor for loss of innocence and the corruption of the American Dream, I’d hope you’d take me out behind the woodshed and put the strap to my ass, redneck-Granny style. And that’s what I want to do, not to Orson Welles (who went on to create a few movies that are among my favorites), but to the dullards who’d suggest that Citizen Kane is the end all be all, the cat’s pajamas, bee’s knees, or the sardine’s whiskers.

 

[BolianAuthor]

No. I never considered Citizen Cane good at all, either. I had to endure watching it in high school, and could not understand why anyone thought the film was that great. Just because people consider something a classic and great doesn't mean it is.

Haven't seen it since high school, then? It isn't widely considered the best American film of all time "just because." Roger Ebert has a nice article explaining some of its importance.

This is why I hate 2001 so much... to me, it's not all that... nothing but a 3-hour classical music fest, set to space visuals, with a talking red dot.

At 141 minutes, it falls about 40 minutes short of being a 3-hour anything. I don't have time for a 9 part rant against confusedmatthew, and I suspect your feelings are the same, but Roger Ebert has a nice write-up explaining some of the film's virtues.

I stand by my opinion... 2001 sucked. It was in no way that great, or enjoyable to watch. I'd rather watch Space Mutiny... at least then I would be entertained, and get dialogue with the pictures, albeit crappy dialogue. Confused Matthew has it right-on.

 

[Amaris]

Fair enough, surely. Personally, my favorite film is Blade Runner, though I hold Citizen Kane quite highly as well.

As to being ultrahyped, since it's widely considered the best American film of all time (and often, simply the best film of all time), it seems to go without saying. I can't imagine the hype getting any more crazy than that.

I enjoy Blade Runner myself, and consider it a well done movie.

Oh, I can understand Axiom's dislike of Citizen Kane and he did well to describe it feeling "pretentious" (short, sweet and to the point, as usual, J ). As the author below stated, there's a reason Hollywood hasn't remade it, and it isn't because it's a "classic."

Here Axiom, enjoy.

Narratively, it’s inert. A slow-moving, scattershot storyline that meanders for two hours and offers a motherfucking anticlimax of epic proportions. The fact that it is noted for having the most popular ending of all time is confounding to me. It’s shit, people. If I’d told you that you could sit through 120 minutes of mind numbing tedium, enduring one belabored flashback after another, all the while suffering through screechingly painful musical numbers (Dorothy Comingfore: Shut the hell up) and that the only reward you were going to get at for all that suffering was a goddamn flimsy metaphor for loss of innocence and the corruption of the American Dream, I’d hope you’d take me out behind the woodshed and put the strap to my ass, redneck-Granny style. And that’s what I want to do, not to Orson Welles (who went on to create a few movies that are among my favorites), but to the dullards who’d suggest that Citizen Kane is the end all be all, the cat’s pajamas, bee’s knees, or the sardine’s whiskers.

I love it! It gets to the heart of how I feel about Kane immediately, while leaving, like I do, the respect for the technical details intact.

 

[Harvey]

I really would have to disagree that all of the flashbacks are belabored. I'd point to the breakfast montage's treatment of Kane's disintegrating marriage and the "Merry Christmas...and a very happy New Year" cut--they're quick and to the point.

Regardless, as much as I like the film, it's the technical achievement which are most important.

 

[Nerys Myk]

The Pirates of The Caribbean movies. I absolutely hated the first movie. There was absolutely nothing good about it. An idiotic script, dull action scenes, OTT acting and zombie pirates, for frak's sake. I didn't get why everybody else was so in love with it.

I hated part 2 and 3 even more, but by then most people started to notice as well that these movies were profoundly stupid.

So you hated the first one, but went to se the second and third ones anway?

 

[Brutal Strudel]

The Pirates of The Caribbean movies. I absolutely hated the first movie. There was absolutely nothing good about it. An idiotic script, dull action scenes, OTT acting and zombie pirates, for frak's sake. I didn't get why everybody else was so in love with it.

I hated part 2 and 3 even more, but by then most people started to notice as well that these movies were profoundly stupid.

And how do movies that have absolutely no substance each clock in at almost three hours? A single 100 minute film would have been enough.

 

[saturn5]

Alien 3 for reasons that i probably don't have to go into

Michael Collins/The Wind That Shakes the Barley because they're Irish Nazi propaganda

Anything with Liam Neeson

 

[Deckerd]

Irish Nazis? Whatever next? Space Nazis?

 

[saturn5]

Irish Nazis? Whatever next? Space Nazis?

Irish republicans, popularly referred to as Fenians. And plenty of Irish Nazis, many Nazi war criminals avoided ever paying for their crimes by settling in the Irish Free State where the goverment protected them

 

[opali]

Irish Nazis? Whatever next? Space Nazis?

Surf Nazis

 

[saturn5]

Irish Nazis? Whatever next? Space Nazis?

Surf Nazis

Both must die!

 

[Gojira]

Transformer's 1 & 2
The Matrix 2 & 3
Any Tim Burton film (except for Beetljuice).
Blade Runner
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Spider-Man 3
Batman & Robin
Men In Black 2
Tropic Thunder
Good Luck Chuck

 

[Deckerd]

Irish Nazis? Whatever next? Space Nazis?

Irish republicans, popularly referred to as Fenians. And plenty of Irish Nazis, many Nazi war criminals avoided ever paying for their crimes by settling in the Irish Free State where the goverment protected them

Yes but they would be Nazis in hiding? I think it's probably quite hard for a German to pass himself off as an Irishman.

 

[Chris_Johnston]

• The Blair Witch Project
• Greenberg
• Mission to Mars
• Moon
• nuTrek
• Sin City
• Slumdog Millionaire
• Tropic Thunder
• Watchmen (love the GN, though)
• All Tim Burton films except Pee Wee's Big Adventure
• Any movie with DiCrapio

Oh, and Nerys Myk: Do you have a larger version of your avatar that we can download as wallpaper?

 

[byron lomax]

Michael Collins/The Wind That Shakes the Barley because they're Irish Nazi propaganda

Irish republicans did commit regrettable acts when fighting for independance from British rule - but to compare them to Nazis is so stupid I really don't know what to say. The Black and Tans and Auxilaries committed horrific crimes on the Irish population in the 1920s, which was one of the last chapters in a long history of oppression - if you want to dismiss all of this as "propaganda", don't expect too many to take your opinion seriously.

 

[Truth_Seeker]

Surf Nazis

What about "Surf Ninjas" - a cult teenage classic!