Originally posted on fanfiction.net - Link.
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Starfleet Nouveau
"Hey, guys," Boimler greeted entering Repair Bay Five. "Have you heard the latest?"
"The latest what?" Tendi asked looking up from her work. She, Mariner and Rutherford were busy repairing and modifying the dilapidated shuttlecraft. "Oh, you mean the latest rumor?"
"There's a new rumor going around the Cerritos?" Rutherford asked excitedly. "Oooh, what is it? Tell me! Tell me!"
"Whoa, lemme stop you right there, Boims," Mariner held up a hand. "Despite what you may have heard, I am not going to throw an impromptu, off-season, three-day Carnival slash Rumarie celebration in the Main Phaser Relay Room this week. Not that it won't happen eventually. It's just still in the planning stages..."
"No, not that. This!" Boimler said holding up a padd. "The latest edition of Fleet just came in. Starfleet's launching an entirely new class of ship."
"Oooh, really?" Rutherford's eye and implant lit up. "Sweet!"
"And that's not all," Boimler continued. "The ship is also going to have a new crew, a new captain, new uniforms. New everything!"
"And this surprises you?" Mariner raised an eyebrow. "So what? Starfleet is always coming up with new ship classes and uniforms. Except when it comes to the Lower Decks."
"Hey, that'd be pretty cool," Rutherford remarked. "Wouldn't it be great if the Cerritos was associated with new uniforms and ideas?"
"Yeah right," Mariner snorted. "Like that could ever happen."
"Wow, the new ship class does look really neat," Tendi commented skimming over Boimler's padd. "Check out these specs!"
"New Bridge, new Sickbay, new Engine Room," Boimler ticked off the list. "They even designed a completely new Captain's Chair."
"Really?" Rutherford gasped. "Let me see!"
"Even the ship's corridors, carpet designs and lighting scheme are new," Boimler went on.
"Including new ways to get lost aboard ship," Mariner quipped.
"And that's just the beginning," Boimler said reading from his padd. "This says the new ship is specifically designed to undertake a series of new missions in a brand new, completely unexplored area of space."
"Meaning they'll be the first ones to blame if anything goes wrong," Mariner commented.
"Wow, that's amazing," Tendi's eyes sparkled at the thought. "Just think of it. They'll get to explore and visit entirely new planets and civilizations!"
"'New' to anyone except to the folks who already live there," Mariner pointed out.
"Being the first to encounter new species, new friends, new stellar phenomena," Tendi went on.
"Including new troubles, new enemies, new conflicts, new ways to risk death and die," Mariner remarked.
"Oh, and don't forget discovering all new types of fascinating diseases," Tendi chirped. "And coming up with new, innovative cures and treatments too!"
"Yeah, 'cause there's nothing more fun than getting sick," Mariner drawled.
"Man, this ship is going to be packed with new technology," Rutherford goggled going over the specs. "All of it state-of-the-art!"
"Also known as state-of-not-being-fully-tested-yet," Mariner quipped. "New tech just means being jammed with new quirks, new errors and tons of new bugs to work out."
"What's your point?" Rutherford asked innocently.
"And that doesn't just apply to tech," Mariner added. "A new crew means having to sort out all the different individual personalities, perspectives, idiosyncrasies and whatnot. Especially when they're composed of different species. Talk about new headaches!"
"Look who's talking," Boimler gave Mariner a look.
"I have to admit I'm kind of envious," Tendi sighed wistfully. "That ship and crew will get to embark on new missions, new adventures, new experiences..."
"Along with all the new rules, dangers, arguments and responsibilities that go with them," Mariner added.
"Must you always be so negative?" Boimler glared at her.
"I'm not being negative. I'm being realistic," Mariner defended. "You gotta consider the whole package, Boims. Just because something's new doesn't mean it's good."
"I dunno," Rutherford rubbed his chin. "Aren't most things good solely on the basis of being new?"
"Of course not," Mariner snorted. "Just look at Starfleet's track record! Do the words 'M-5' mean anything to you?"
"Oh," Rutherford blinked. "You have a point."
"Holodecks, transporters, transwarp drive," Mariner went on. "All of them messy and glitchy as heck when they first came out. Some of them are still glitchy!”
“Well, maybe,” Tendi allowed.
“And don’t forget the day-to-day stuff,” Mariner continued. “How many times have we received a software 'update' which ended up crashing the system and forced us to rebuild the entire computer core from scratch?"
"Too many," Boimler groaned. "Way, way too many."
"And as for aesthetics, phffft, forget it," Mariner waved. "The truth is there simply isn't a lot of genuinely new stuff these days. Nearly everything is just blatant rip-offs or poorly conceived outtakes of already established stuff with slight cosmetic changes."
"Oh, you mean like personal backgrounds, uniforms, and hairstyles?" Tendi asked.
"Among other things," Mariner shrugged. “Like constantly tossing around random references and throwbacks to older stuff. Talk about lazy!”
“Hmmm, wonder what that’s like?” Rutherford mused.
"Even so-called 'new' missions are unimaginative and overused,” Mariner went on. “Switch the names around and they all tend to follow the same basic story lines and cliches."
"Don't you think you're being a little too simplistic?" Boimler asked. "Our lives aren't just a series of pre-destined choices and scripted encounters devoid of all imagination and spontaneity.”
"Believe what you want to, Boims," Mariner waved. "It still doesn't change the fact that new things can end up being complete disasters, plasma fires and shuttle wrecks. Like Starfleet's new ship. What kind of lame, unimaginative class name did they end up labeling it with? Neo-Constitution?"
"Uh," Boimler blinked consulting his padd. "Actually..."
"If a name like that ever becomes official, it's a sign that Starfleet's creativity well has definitely gone dry," Mariner declared. "That's why I prefer the classics."
"But the classics also had to be considered new at some point," Tendi reasoned. "Otherwise they wouldn't have stayed around long enough to be considered classics."
"Well, duh. That's just the grand nature of things," Mariner explained. "Newness is temporary while oldness is constant. Everything new quickly becomes old, while anything old stays old."
"But that doesn't mean all new things are doomed to be bad," Rutherford said. "There are plenty of things that are considered horrible at first only to turn out great."
"Well, yeah. The first year does tend to be pretty rough," Mariner admitted. "Almost nobody likes stuff during the first year or two. It usually takes three or four years for new things to finally find their footing. At which point they aren't really considered new anymore."
"If that's the case, at what point do new or established things become classics?" Tendi pondered.
"That's easy," Mariner said. "All it takes is..."
"Look, as fascinating as this scintillating debate is, I think you're all missing the point," Boimler interrupted. "Mainly that all this new stuff is happening to other people and not us!"
"Well, yeah," Rutherford shrugged casually. "That's all part of the life being a member of Starfleet's Lower Decks."
"But it shouldn't have to be that way," Boimler insisted. "I want to be one of the ones who explores, encounters and experiences new things. I want to be included in one of the new starship crews and participate in new missions!"
"Sheesh, Boims. Talk about having a compulsive fear of missing out," Mariner drawled. "You really gotta get over it."
"Maybe you should try discussing it with Dr. Migleemo," Tendi suggested.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far," Mariner amended.
"I want to discover what no one else has encountered before," Boimler declared passionately. "The current me obviously isn't up to stuff, so I'll just have to become a whole new me!"
"Didn't you try that once by attempting to be bad?" Rutherford asked. "And end up embarrassingly regretting it?"
"Well, yes," Boimler blushed. "But that simply means I'll have to try and try and try again!"
"Eh, save your efforts, Boims. There's no need to put yourself through all that unnecessary aggravation," Mariner advised. "You don't have to transfer to a new ship or give yourself a new personality or even be around new people in order to encounter what's new. The only truly new things are what are in the future."
"And the parts of the past that haven't been discovered or revealed yet," Tendi added. "That's apparently a famous Human saying. At least according to Admiral Chekov."
"Well, maybe," Boimler sighed.
"Besides, there's plenty of new stuff still waiting to be experienced aboard the Cerritos," Mariner smiled. "Such as new pranks, new hijinks and new ways to flaunt and get around rules."
"Oh no," Boimler groaned. "Not again!"
"Exactly!" Mariner grinned. "Brace yourself for a wild ride of imagination and originally, Boims. We ain't gonna repeat the old, boring stuff around here. Entirely new loads of fun, laughter and adventures are in store!"
"Yay!" Tendi and Rutherford cheered.
"Me and my big mouth," Boimler moaned as his three friends proceeded to cackle maniacally while working on repairing the shuttlecraft. "I should have known that the only new things ever in store for me are new headaches, new chaos, new madness and the obligatory copious amounts of new insanity!"
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
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Starfleet Nouveau
"Hey, guys," Boimler greeted entering Repair Bay Five. "Have you heard the latest?"
"The latest what?" Tendi asked looking up from her work. She, Mariner and Rutherford were busy repairing and modifying the dilapidated shuttlecraft. "Oh, you mean the latest rumor?"
"There's a new rumor going around the Cerritos?" Rutherford asked excitedly. "Oooh, what is it? Tell me! Tell me!"
"Whoa, lemme stop you right there, Boims," Mariner held up a hand. "Despite what you may have heard, I am not going to throw an impromptu, off-season, three-day Carnival slash Rumarie celebration in the Main Phaser Relay Room this week. Not that it won't happen eventually. It's just still in the planning stages..."
"No, not that. This!" Boimler said holding up a padd. "The latest edition of Fleet just came in. Starfleet's launching an entirely new class of ship."
"Oooh, really?" Rutherford's eye and implant lit up. "Sweet!"
"And that's not all," Boimler continued. "The ship is also going to have a new crew, a new captain, new uniforms. New everything!"
"And this surprises you?" Mariner raised an eyebrow. "So what? Starfleet is always coming up with new ship classes and uniforms. Except when it comes to the Lower Decks."
"Hey, that'd be pretty cool," Rutherford remarked. "Wouldn't it be great if the Cerritos was associated with new uniforms and ideas?"
"Yeah right," Mariner snorted. "Like that could ever happen."
"Wow, the new ship class does look really neat," Tendi commented skimming over Boimler's padd. "Check out these specs!"
"New Bridge, new Sickbay, new Engine Room," Boimler ticked off the list. "They even designed a completely new Captain's Chair."
"Really?" Rutherford gasped. "Let me see!"
"Even the ship's corridors, carpet designs and lighting scheme are new," Boimler went on.
"Including new ways to get lost aboard ship," Mariner quipped.
"And that's just the beginning," Boimler said reading from his padd. "This says the new ship is specifically designed to undertake a series of new missions in a brand new, completely unexplored area of space."
"Meaning they'll be the first ones to blame if anything goes wrong," Mariner commented.
"Wow, that's amazing," Tendi's eyes sparkled at the thought. "Just think of it. They'll get to explore and visit entirely new planets and civilizations!"
"'New' to anyone except to the folks who already live there," Mariner pointed out.
"Being the first to encounter new species, new friends, new stellar phenomena," Tendi went on.
"Including new troubles, new enemies, new conflicts, new ways to risk death and die," Mariner remarked.
"Oh, and don't forget discovering all new types of fascinating diseases," Tendi chirped. "And coming up with new, innovative cures and treatments too!"
"Yeah, 'cause there's nothing more fun than getting sick," Mariner drawled.
"Man, this ship is going to be packed with new technology," Rutherford goggled going over the specs. "All of it state-of-the-art!"
"Also known as state-of-not-being-fully-tested-yet," Mariner quipped. "New tech just means being jammed with new quirks, new errors and tons of new bugs to work out."
"What's your point?" Rutherford asked innocently.
"And that doesn't just apply to tech," Mariner added. "A new crew means having to sort out all the different individual personalities, perspectives, idiosyncrasies and whatnot. Especially when they're composed of different species. Talk about new headaches!"
"Look who's talking," Boimler gave Mariner a look.
"I have to admit I'm kind of envious," Tendi sighed wistfully. "That ship and crew will get to embark on new missions, new adventures, new experiences..."
"Along with all the new rules, dangers, arguments and responsibilities that go with them," Mariner added.
"Must you always be so negative?" Boimler glared at her.
"I'm not being negative. I'm being realistic," Mariner defended. "You gotta consider the whole package, Boims. Just because something's new doesn't mean it's good."
"I dunno," Rutherford rubbed his chin. "Aren't most things good solely on the basis of being new?"
"Of course not," Mariner snorted. "Just look at Starfleet's track record! Do the words 'M-5' mean anything to you?"
"Oh," Rutherford blinked. "You have a point."
"Holodecks, transporters, transwarp drive," Mariner went on. "All of them messy and glitchy as heck when they first came out. Some of them are still glitchy!”
“Well, maybe,” Tendi allowed.
“And don’t forget the day-to-day stuff,” Mariner continued. “How many times have we received a software 'update' which ended up crashing the system and forced us to rebuild the entire computer core from scratch?"
"Too many," Boimler groaned. "Way, way too many."
"And as for aesthetics, phffft, forget it," Mariner waved. "The truth is there simply isn't a lot of genuinely new stuff these days. Nearly everything is just blatant rip-offs or poorly conceived outtakes of already established stuff with slight cosmetic changes."
"Oh, you mean like personal backgrounds, uniforms, and hairstyles?" Tendi asked.
"Among other things," Mariner shrugged. “Like constantly tossing around random references and throwbacks to older stuff. Talk about lazy!”
“Hmmm, wonder what that’s like?” Rutherford mused.
"Even so-called 'new' missions are unimaginative and overused,” Mariner went on. “Switch the names around and they all tend to follow the same basic story lines and cliches."
"Don't you think you're being a little too simplistic?" Boimler asked. "Our lives aren't just a series of pre-destined choices and scripted encounters devoid of all imagination and spontaneity.”
"Believe what you want to, Boims," Mariner waved. "It still doesn't change the fact that new things can end up being complete disasters, plasma fires and shuttle wrecks. Like Starfleet's new ship. What kind of lame, unimaginative class name did they end up labeling it with? Neo-Constitution?"
"Uh," Boimler blinked consulting his padd. "Actually..."
"If a name like that ever becomes official, it's a sign that Starfleet's creativity well has definitely gone dry," Mariner declared. "That's why I prefer the classics."
"But the classics also had to be considered new at some point," Tendi reasoned. "Otherwise they wouldn't have stayed around long enough to be considered classics."
"Well, duh. That's just the grand nature of things," Mariner explained. "Newness is temporary while oldness is constant. Everything new quickly becomes old, while anything old stays old."
"But that doesn't mean all new things are doomed to be bad," Rutherford said. "There are plenty of things that are considered horrible at first only to turn out great."
"Well, yeah. The first year does tend to be pretty rough," Mariner admitted. "Almost nobody likes stuff during the first year or two. It usually takes three or four years for new things to finally find their footing. At which point they aren't really considered new anymore."
"If that's the case, at what point do new or established things become classics?" Tendi pondered.
"That's easy," Mariner said. "All it takes is..."
"Look, as fascinating as this scintillating debate is, I think you're all missing the point," Boimler interrupted. "Mainly that all this new stuff is happening to other people and not us!"
"Well, yeah," Rutherford shrugged casually. "That's all part of the life being a member of Starfleet's Lower Decks."
"But it shouldn't have to be that way," Boimler insisted. "I want to be one of the ones who explores, encounters and experiences new things. I want to be included in one of the new starship crews and participate in new missions!"
"Sheesh, Boims. Talk about having a compulsive fear of missing out," Mariner drawled. "You really gotta get over it."
"Maybe you should try discussing it with Dr. Migleemo," Tendi suggested.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far," Mariner amended.
"I want to discover what no one else has encountered before," Boimler declared passionately. "The current me obviously isn't up to stuff, so I'll just have to become a whole new me!"
"Didn't you try that once by attempting to be bad?" Rutherford asked. "And end up embarrassingly regretting it?"
"Well, yes," Boimler blushed. "But that simply means I'll have to try and try and try again!"
"Eh, save your efforts, Boims. There's no need to put yourself through all that unnecessary aggravation," Mariner advised. "You don't have to transfer to a new ship or give yourself a new personality or even be around new people in order to encounter what's new. The only truly new things are what are in the future."
"And the parts of the past that haven't been discovered or revealed yet," Tendi added. "That's apparently a famous Human saying. At least according to Admiral Chekov."
"Well, maybe," Boimler sighed.
"Besides, there's plenty of new stuff still waiting to be experienced aboard the Cerritos," Mariner smiled. "Such as new pranks, new hijinks and new ways to flaunt and get around rules."
"Oh no," Boimler groaned. "Not again!"
"Exactly!" Mariner grinned. "Brace yourself for a wild ride of imagination and originally, Boims. We ain't gonna repeat the old, boring stuff around here. Entirely new loads of fun, laughter and adventures are in store!"
"Yay!" Tendi and Rutherford cheered.
"Me and my big mouth," Boimler moaned as his three friends proceeded to cackle maniacally while working on repairing the shuttlecraft. "I should have known that the only new things ever in store for me are new headaches, new chaos, new madness and the obligatory copious amounts of new insanity!"
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
